Talk:Shammuramat/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Jens Lallensack (talk · contribs) 00:00, 24 January 2022 (UTC)

Reading now, comments follow soon. --Jens Lallensack (talk) 00:00, 24 January 2022 (UTC)

• Shammuramat reached an unusually prominent position in the reign of her son – maybe add "for a woman" for clarity?

It is technically an unusually prominent position regardless; the only other non-king people to figure as prominently in official contexts were the later queen Naqi'a and a handful of influential officials, such as Shamshi-ilu. Ichthyovenator (talk) 23:28, 25 January 2022 (UTC)

• Upon her arrival to – "arrival in"?

Fixed. Ichthyovenator (talk) 23:28, 25 January 2022 (UTC)

• The tale of Semiramis's conflict with Armenia could perhaps derive from remembrance of the campaigns of her son – does "her" refer to Semiramis or Shammuramat?

Shammuramat, I've changed "her son" to "Adad-nirari". Ichthyovenator (talk) 23:28, 25 January 2022 (UTC)

• My biggest concern is that you repeatedly say "according to the legends" although it does not become clear if you refer to a particular source, or if this is the common narrative found in most of the variants.

IIRC most of the section is based on the account by Ctesias but I'll check the source soon again and verify. Ichthyovenator (talk) 23:28, 25 January 2022 (UTC)

Fixed. Ichthyovenator (talk) 17:49, 30 January 2022 (UTC)

• In the legends, Semiramis's life comes to an end when she is killed by her son Ninyas, – from what follows it seems to become clear that this is only one of multiple variants of the legend?

It happens in quite a lot of the accounts, including Ctesias. The part that follows is just a weird justification for the murder added to the legend by some later authors. Ichthyovenator (talk) 17:49, 30 January 2022 (UTC)

• Optional: I think it would be nicer to read if the longer paragraphs in "Semiramis legend" are split.

Split the second one but I can't figure out a good way to split the first one (which all deals with the divine origins and Ashkelon). Ichthyovenator (talk) 23:28, 25 January 2022 (UTC)

• Awesome and highly interesting article, thank you. --Jens Lallensack (talk) 19:10, 25 January 2022 (UTC)

Thank you very much for reviewing! I'll try to fix the concerns with the section on the legend swiftly. Ichthyovenator (talk) 23:28, 25 January 2022 (UTC)

@Jens Lallensack: I've addressed all the comments. Let me know if there is anything more that should be amended. Ichthyovenator (talk) 17:49, 30 January 2022 (UTC)

Excellent, and congrats for the GA! --Jens Lallensack (talk) 21:38, 31 January 2022 (UTC)

Thank you! Ichthyovenator (talk) 23:09, 31 January 2022 (UTC)