GA Review
edit| GA toolbox |
|---|
| Reviewing |
Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch
Reviewer: Calvin999 (talk · contribs) 20:57, 26 August 2015 (UTC)
Hi. I'm Calvin999 and I am reviewing this nomination. — Calvin999 20:57, 26 August 2015 (UTC)
- I don't think info box person is appropriate. This is usually used for someone who crosses over into different areas, such as music, film, politics, etc. I actually think info box songwriter like Diane Warren would be better. Because Sia is only involved in music, and so it seems odd to have info box person and then include a Musical career part.
- @Calvin999: If so information about Sia's network and husband will be missing from the {{Infobox songwriter}} Simon (talk) 12:46, 1 September 2015 (UTC)
- It's not essential info. She's a songwriter primarily, a singer second. — Calvin999 16:00, 1 September 2015 (UTC)
- Generally, associated acts should only include artists with whom Sia has worked three times or more.
- is an Australian singer, songwriter and music video director. → is an Australian songwriter and singer. (No need to link, she is primarily a songwriter, and music video director is not something she is known for.
- Musically and artistically precocious, → This needs context
- Sia became interested in performing in the style of musicians including Aretha Franklin, Stevie Wonder and Sting. → What style is this?
- By 1997, → In 1997
- You always use 'Sia' and it's getting repetitive. You can use 'she' or 'the singer'
- There shouldn't be citations in the lead.
- The album sold 1,200 copies. → This needs a source
- The first paragraph of the 1997–2006: Zero 7, Healing Is Difficult and Colour the Small One section reads like a list of facts, there's no flow.
- retro jazz and soul musical styles → retro jazz and soul music
- dealing with the death of her first love affair. → This is ambiguous. Did she have an affair and it end?
- Consequently, Sia's manager, David Enthoven, set up a tour across the country to maintain her success. → What success? You just said it was poorly marketed and didn't connect with a pop audience
- which includes eight → which included eight (tense)
- Sia released her fourth studio album, Some People Have Real Problems. → Okay, when?
- The final product, → Later revealed to be called
- star, Maddie Ziegler → You don't need a comma here
- songs, Opportunity. → It's a song, so should have quotation marks around it.
- According to the criteria, one line paragraphs should be kept to an absolute minimum. There are quite a lot of instances of this throughout the article, and unnecessarily so. Paragraphs should be 4 to 5 lines in length.
- follow her first love, → Not encyclopedic
- Ref 2 has the URL showing
- Ref 13 needs formatting
- It's Digital Spy, not digitalspy.com
- Outcome
Overall, not too bad, but needs cleaning up. — Calvin999 08:54, 27 August 2015 (UTC)
Upon reflection, I should have quick failed this article, because you have not contributed significantly to it at all. I should have checked the history of the article prior to completing my review. The only reason why I am saying this now is because I just quick failed your nomination of Jennifer Lopez as you have never edited it. You've only edited Sia Furler a handful of times and they are not significant at all. It's been nearly 7 days since I did this review but I've had no response here. You have been online too, and clearly had time to making ill-judged nominations. I don't think you are serious about making improvements and I don't think you understand the rules of nominations, which is concreted by whim of a Jennifer Lopez nomination. I'm sorry but this article is not worthy of being made a Good Article yet. As I said in my concluding statement of the review, it does need cleaning up. — Calvin999 10:19, 2 September 2015 (UTC)