Talk:Simón Bolívar/GA1

Latest comment: 1 year ago by Premeditated Chaos in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Reviewer: Premeditated Chaos (talk · contribs) 22:54, 12 March 2023 (UTC)Reply

Fun and cool experiment in which Guerillero and I team up to tackle a GAN of epic proportions. ♠PMC(talk) 22:54, 12 March 2023 (UTC)Reply

Prose review

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Going into this with the mindset that FAC is likely. I'm going to pick on redundancy esepcially, because this is such a long article we really can't afford to add more words when we don't need them.

Extended content

Lead

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  • The link to Libertadores from El Libertador feels a bit easter eggy, as it turns out to be about a group of people rather than about Bolivar's specific nickname - maybe rephrase to clarify if you want to keep the link?
  • criollo is going to be unfamiliar to most people I think, maybe a touch of context or a footnote
  • "lived in several households" how essential is this?
  • Not sure you need del Toro's death, but if you have to keep it, maybe trim to "died of yellow fever" - if she died of it, she of course contracted it
  • "proposed gaining Venezuelan independence to other wealthy creoles" - this clause reads awkwardly, but I can't figure out how to fix it without revising the whole sentence. "Upon his return to Venezuela in 1807, Bolivar began encouraging his wealthy criollo peers to consider Venezuelan independence." Maybe something like that?
  • Most other countries are linked, why not Haiti?
  • "with Bolívar as president there and in Peru and Bolivia" all at once?
  • "distanced from them because of his centralist ideology" I know this is the lead and we can't pack too much in here, but were there any notable specific beliefs that caused him to split?
  • You have a large section about personal beliefs in the body but almost nothing about that in the lead
  • I think there's some redundancy in the legacy sentences. Removing it would allow you to include a little more detail. What about something like:
  • His legacy is diverse and far-reaching: he is regarded as a national icon throughout Latin America; the nations of Bolivia and the Boliviarian Republic of Venezuela are named after him; he remains a subject of academic and political analysis; and he has been memorialized worldwide in art and geography.

Early life

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  • What did his parents do, if anything?
  • Well, his father was in correspondence back in the 1770s or 80s (I forget) with Miranda about revolution in Venezuela, specifically Hancocking a letter to Miranda asking him to come and throw the Spanish out. I left that out, though considered a footnote, because I was (and am) desperate to keep this article below 10,000 words. –♠Vamí_IV†♠ 23:13, 26 March 2023 (UTC)Reply
  • "Simón was born into the Bolívar family" redundant
  • Not sure we need the sentence about "In 1588–89, he joined the staff..." - we can just end the prev sentence by saying that de Bolivar later moved to Caracas and prospered.
  • "Would also serve" -> "also served". You can probably also lose the "there" at the beginning of this sentence"

Education

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  • Not sure we need "even before". Can probably just say "before", as it wouldn't be that surprising for him to have some education before his mother died.
  • "he spent two years" do we know what years?
  • I... uh... I don't know. None of the sources I consulted there say; they also say "two years". They also use "Even before...". I'll have to consult some Spanish sources for more information. –♠Vamí_IV†♠ 02:16, 1 April 2023 (UTC)Reply
  • "run by Simón Rodríguez" - who's this guy
  • I'm not entirely sure the detail about the ship's docking and stuff is really needed, as it doesn't sound like anything came of it. It would be different if the blockading incident somehow became the trigger for Bolivar wanting to overthrow the Spanish or whatever. You can probably sum it up as just "after some delays, the ship docked in Spain in May 1799".
  • Given how concerned you are about word count, I'm surprised you didn't trim this down even more. I really think it's worth ditching, as it doesn't seem to be of any consequence to Bolivar's future. ♠PMC(talk) 18:31, 28 June 2023 (UTC)Reply
  • God, look at those eyebrows
  • "Uztáriz accepted and Bolívar, who moved into his residence in February 1800, was thoroughly educated" this is a hilariously dry way to say this, but I'm not sure it's quite encyclopedic. I think you can lose the first bit (it'll be obvious he accepted once we say that he educated Bolivar) and revise to "Bolivar moved into his residence in February 1800, and Uztáriz provided him with a thorough education."
  • Comment: Is Bolívar's wife's surname "del Toro" or "Rodríguez del Toro"? The former is used throughout the prose, but if its all one last name, it shouldn't typically be shortened. Granted, I'm not incredibly familiar with the more archaic old system of Spanish naming (Bolívar himself is an exception). How do the sources refer to her? Krisgabwoosh (talk) 22:44, 19 June 2023 (UTC)Reply

Return to Venezuela

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  • You can lose "there," since there's no reason to think del Toro died anywhere else
  • "By July 1803, Bolívar decided to leave Venezuela" It should be "had decided", as we're talking about a decision that had occurred sometime up to that timeframe. (I'm not a grammar expert and I had to do some reading after googling, but see pluperfect)
  • Nice use of the quote box here
  • " Though he remained awed by Napoleon, Bolívar was disgusted" - why? This needs some more explanation
  • Errrr this was supposed to be part of a larger "Historical assessment" section that I cut from production because it would be too immense, so I'll cut this part out.
  • " where the plebs had seceded from Rome" - you need to be careful to clarify here that this was in the 4th century BCE, because if you didn't know about this beforehand, you might think it was contemporary to Bolivar

Politics and military

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  • I won't die on this hill but shouldn't the top few paragraphs get their own subsection and title?
  • Year for the portrait please
  • "Finding himself to be far more radical...property dispute..." Do we know anything more about this dispute? Did it come to anything? Did he really do nothing else for the next two years?
  • Oh, the things I wanted to add about Briceño. Yes we do know about that property dispute. Briceño got so heated with Bolívar that he led an armed gang of slaves to run Bolívar's workers off the contested property. He later became one of Bolívar's early stalwarts and was so infamous during the Admirable Campaign for massacring Royalists that he was straight called "the Devil". Then he was killed in battle. Also uh Bolívar at this time hosted meetings of likeminded rich guys, but for the most part yeah he was sitting on his hands since he and his brother were the only people in Venezuela in favor of outright independence from Spain. I'll look into adding the detail of the meetings here. –♠Vamí_IV†♠ 04:44, 28 March 2023 (UTC)Reply
  • I think it might be worth adding a small amount of detail about the dispute, if possible - not many property disputes involve raids by gangs of armed slaves! It would certainly make it more obvious why he spent two years on it. ♠PMC(talk) 18:41, 28 June 2023 (UTC)Reply
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  • "Emparán's government, while friendlier...was also resisted by" - passive voice, plz activate
  • "and moreover was using his talks with the Venezuelans to secure access to Spanish American markets for British merchants from the Spanish regency" Should he not be doing this? It's written like this is a dick move, but I'm not sure how - isn't this the kind of thing diplomats are supposed to do?
  • "Miranda, whose return to Venezuela the British government did not desire but could not prevent" This sentence feels very tangled up in itself. Maybe something like "Although the British government wanted Miranda to remain in Britain, they could not prevent his departure, and he arrived in Venezuela in December."
  • As a general comment for this and other sections, since you have the room, it might be nice to include images of other important figures like Marino, although I won't fight you terribly on it if you're opposed

Venezuela

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  • On re-reviewing this article, I noticed that the sub-article Military career of Simón Bolívar is about 6200 words, while the text of this entire section is ~5900 (I did a raw copy-paste so that may count captions and other crud. I won't hold the GA up over it, but if you do want to take this to FA, it may be worth trying to shift some more detail over there.
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  • "Helping to create the Patriotic Society" - what is this and why do we care that they created it?
  • "which opened a breach between Bolívar and Miranda as Bolívar and del Toro were friends" - I don't understand why. If Miranda and Bolivar are buddies, and Miranda appoints Bolivar's buddy to kick the ass of some guys Bolivar doesn't like, why is Bolivar mad about this?
  • I completely fumbled here. Miranda was the butthurt party here. Del Toro was appointed over Miranda, who actually had military experience, because the old Creoles didn't like Miranda. To rub salt into the wound, the del Toros and the Mirandas were old enemies and Bolívar sided with his old buddies the del Toros. –♠Vamí_IV†♠ 05:46, 4 April 2023 (UTC)Reply
  • "Miranda replaced del Toro" - with himself, I'm assuming? It's ambiguous
  • "As a condition of..." This is the first time we're hearing that Bolivar was commanding anything. Who's making it a condition to remove Bolivar, and why?
  • I don't know if it's of interest to you, but the Spanish version of the earthquake page has some images that might be useful.
    I also wanted to comment that Venezuelan painter Tito Salas has a painting of the earthquake, depicting Bolívar if I'm not mistaken. I'm surprised to find that it apparently is not in Commons, since it should be in the Venezuelan public domain. --NoonIcarus (talk) 21:14, 1 April 2023 (UTC)Reply
  • "a Royalist officer of the fort's garrison" - I don't get this. Did the Royalists have control of the fort before Bolivar turned up? If so, why would Miranda send him there to assume command - wouldn't that be more like "go assault it"? Or was this guy a traitor to the Republican cause?
  • What's Bolivar doing arresting Miranda? Did the Royalists just welcome him back like "nbd bruh"
  • I... thought it was pretty clear, even with the trimming I did to this paragraph a while back. Miranda decides that the Republic is done for and that he needs to get out of there, and agrees to terms from Monteverde. This pisses off Bolívar, who has just been besieged in his own posting and just escaped by the skin of his teeth, and other diehard Republican officers. They think Miranda's turned traitor and shown himself a coward, and a looter since he's on his way out with his bags stuffed with money and gold (why and for what is a matter of debate), and decide to send the captain down with the ship. So they ensure in a deed that has gone down in no small amount of ignominy that Miranda dies the miserable death he dies in a Spanish prison a decade or so later.

    As for the Royalists and letting Bolívar go, that's a funny story I cut for brevity. So, the guy controlling La Guaira for the Republic turns Royalist and closes the port to stop other Republicans from attempting escape, but Bolívar slips the net and goes to Caracas. Everybody knows he's a firebreathing Republican so he can't stay, but he has friends on both sides and crashes on a Royalist friend's couch. Said friend arranges an audience with Monteverde to get Bolívar a passport so he can go into exile. The friend tries to spin this as Bolívar rendering service to the Crown or whatever, but Bolívar right then and there scoffs and goes "pfft imagine serving a king, how cringe", and the friend does the whole "ix nae" thing. Monteverde responds to this by going "ummm ok anyway everyone goes through these phases", dismisses Bolívar, and very much lives to regret letting him leave. The biographies relate how future mentions of the name Bolívar in Monteverde's presence caused the color to drain from his face. –♠Vamí_IV†♠ 05:46, 4 April 2023 (UTC)Reply

  • I think it's just that everything surrounding the arrest reads as Royalist. Miranda surrenders to the Royalist Monteverde, gets arrested in La Guaira which immediately declares itself Royalist, and then gets taken into Spanish custody (presumably Royalist). So it seems natural to read Bolivar and his conspirators in the same vein. I tweaked it to "treason against the republic", which to me clarifies Bolivar & co's motives a little more. Let me know how you feel. ♠PMC(talk) 15:58, 30 June 2023 (UTC)Reply
    That works for me and is entirely accurate to my sources. –♠Vamí_IV†♠ 02:26, 1 July 2023 (UTC)Reply

New Granada

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  • If Bolívar was (I'm assuming) helping the Royalists by arresting Miranda, why does he have to escape La Guaira and hide from being arrested?
  • La Guaira's governor was another Crouching Patriot Hidden Royalist and defected the very night Bolívar and the gang threw Miranda in the clink. He closed the port on Monteverde's to stop Republican exiles like Bolivar from escaping Spanish revenge. –♠Vamí_IV†♠ 20:44, 6 April 2023 (UTC)Reply
  • Link Curacao and maybe a tiny bit of context that it's an island nation
  • Can we mention that the United Provinces of New Granada were (I think?) west of Venezuela
  • "a Royalist invasion of New Granada" was that likely or was Bolivar being paranoid given the later advance I guess it was likely but perhaps we could explain that earlier? (Maybe when we talk about Bolívar's services? "Bolívar offered their services to Granada in anticipation of an invasion from Venezuelan royalists" perhaps)
  • "that secured control of the Magdalena River" from whomst? Venezuela?
  • Who did Cucuta belong to? Was Bolivar taking it, or taking it back?
  • "was unwilling to recognize Bolívar" why?
  • "the Legion of Hell" hardcore Western soundtrack kicks in now
  • "he sailed with Mariño" wait are they friends now?
  • Marino x Bolivar enemies to lovers high school AU fic when
  • "Bolívar arrived" I think you may wanna split this paragraph here
  • "Bolívar began a six-week siege of the city [es] that allowed the Royalists to regain control of the Magdalena." Wait, now Bolivar is fighting for the Royalists? Or did he fuck up so bad that they took the whole river off him
  • It is a really abrupt transition from this siege to Bolivar resigning and going into exile. Who exiled him??

Jamaica

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  • "escaped assassination when his manservant mistakenly killed his paymaster as part of a Spanish plot" OOPS
  • "There, by 14 July, his forces were defeated and scattered by a Royalist force that then captured Ocumare and the Haitian supplies." This sentence feels a bit redundant in places. Do we need defeated and scattered? Actually, do we need either? I think the reader will assume he was defeated if we say that Royalists took the city back. "He held Ocumare until 14 July, when a Royalist force recaptured the city." (I removed the supplies in my suggestion since they don't seem to come up again but I could be wrong)
  • "deposed by Mariño" so they're not friends?
  • José Francisco Bermúdez - new guy who dis. I respect the extremely dry treatment of the sword incident but perhaps some more detail as to how Bolivar avoided his second bout of sudden onset adult assassinitis would be nice
  • I've decided to remove the part about the sword instead. I'll just share that what happened is that Bolívar, after getting own zoned at Ocumare, got in a boat and went to Guiria to team up with Mariño. Mariño instead goes "um I'm in charge now buster fuck outta here", so Bolívar leaves. Bermúdez, an officer in Mariño's army, however, gets SO MAD at Bolívar that as he's going back to the beach to get back on his boat and go back to Haiti, barrels down there with a blade (sources disagree on if it was a knife or a sword) to stab Bolívar to death for cowardice or whatever. Bolívar's guys stop him and enable Bolívar to get back on his boat and GTFO. Anyway Bermúdez will later be one of Bolívar's best and most loyal generals. There's... an incredible amount of character to the Wars of Latin American Independence that because of wordcount and focus, I had to cut out. –♠Vamí_IV†♠ 19:56, 7 April 2023 (UTC)Reply
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  • I might say "was turned back at Clarines" just so the link isn't an easter egg
  • "who then reconciled with Bolívar" okay, so now they're friends – "Mariño as supreme commander of the Republican forces" never mind – "who pledged loyalty to Bolívar" okay Starscream I've heard that before>
  • Anything of interest in the third bout of assassinitis?
  • Not really. There's the arrest and torture of the slave, who said he was paid by a Spanish agent to off Bolívar (iirc Lynch said this was likely the truth). There's also a story I read in The General in His Labyrinth that at the time of the assassination, Bolívar was having the moves put on him by a British woman on the island who was supportive of his cause and had caught wind of the plot. Great book, I recommend it. –♠Vamí_IV†♠ 04:58, 9 April 2023 (UTC)Reply
  • Ah, I forgot about the event you're referring to. No, there is really nothing more to say. Bolívar got licked in a battle, fell back and in the retreat was almost killed by Royalists who had infiltrated his camp. –♠Vamí_IV†♠ 04:59, 9 April 2023 (UTC)Reply

Gran Columbia

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  • How does one campaign indecisively
  • I tried to find a way to say, encyclopedicly, that Bolívar spent a year spinning his tires in the mud and this was the wording. I've now removed the word "indecisively" from the relevant sentence. –♠Vamí_IV†♠ 21:45, 9 April 2023 (UTC)Reply
  • "to invade New Granada" why is he invading? What's his motive or goal here?
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  • What is the "Páramo de Pisba"? Since there's no English link to follow, some context would be nice. It is a mountain? A mountain pass? Something else?
  • "he learned that Santander had executed Barreiro and other Royalist prisoners on 11 October" - is this strictly relevant to Bolivar? It never seems to come up again. Noting it in the interest of conciseness, since you're wanting to limit article length
  • "Zea had been replaced as vice president in September 1819 by Arismendi, who was conspiring with Mariño against Urdaneta and Bermúdez" Same as above, some of this doesn't seem to come up again. Arismendi is never mentioned again after this, and the conspiracy doesn't seem to reappear.

Ecuador

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  • I might split this whole section up as it's quite long
Extended content
  • I've split some paragraphs and made some minor changes to sentence structure here and there
  • Manuela Sáenz has a lovely painting on her article, can it also be in this one?
  • This is likely going to take some rejiggering with the wording and the source placement, but I recommend putting the clause about Bolivar rallying support for annexing Guayaquil into the following sentence. Right now it reads a bit like he's doing the rallying in the meeting, making the following sentence a bit confusing. Also, it's not immediately clear from the first sentence that San Martin isn't already there, so when you hit the second sentence about San Martin having to travel there, you kind of have to revise your thinking.
  • I've made a more minor fix: I've changed the prose to read "...Bolívar traveled to Guayaquil in anticipation of a meeting with San Martín to discuss the city's status and to rally support for its annexation...". Hopefully that is much clearer. –♠Vamí_IV†♠ 01:21, 24 April 2023 (UTC)Reply
  • " In May 1824, after learning of a rebellion [es] against the Viceroy, José de la Serna, by conservative Royalist Pedro Antonio Olañeta, Bolívar advanced and then defeated Canterac at the Battle of Junín on 6 August." The two clauses of this sentence don't seem to go together. What does defeating Canterac have to do with Olaneta rebelling? I tweaked the sentence anyway for clarity but it's going to need some more context.
  • I have readjusted this bit to make it clearer. I think what this part needed was not more context, but better presentation. Olañeta thought La Serna was a liberal pansy who was intentionally losing the war, so he declared his command to be independent and, thus, in rebellion to the Viceroy. La Serna knew he had bigger fish to fry with Bolívar breathing down his neck and decided not to split his forces. Olañeta, however, is important and worth mentioning even if his reasons aren't because he refused to surrender and lasted until Sucre liberated Bolivia. –♠Vamí_IV†♠ 01:21, 24 April 2023 (UTC)Reply
Extended content
  • "On 24 October, Bolívar received a letter" - er, why did they do this? Was it just because of the strained relationship with Satander or was there more?
  • Santander and by extension the Colombian congress was pissed that Bolívar had accepted the dictatorship of Peru. I thought I had put that/left that in the article, so I'll go ahead and put it back in. –♠Vamí_IV†♠ 01:21, 24 April 2023 (UTC)Reply
  • "but neither nation's congress accepted his resignation" - hold on, how? Did they not just fire him?
  • "that was managed by Simón Rodríguez" - who? And since he doesn't seem to be mentioned again, does it matter? For the wordage, I think you might get better mileage out of putting in another example of a failed policy. (And why did they keep failing?)
Just for the record: Simón Rodríguez was arguably Bolívar's most important tutor, and he was even present when Bolívar took the oath in the Mons Sacer in Rome. He's a quite prominent character in Venezuelan history, even being in high denomination banknotes twice, although the text might not give that impression in the text and, after all, the article is about Bolívar. --NoonIcarus (talk) 18:49, 7 April 2023 (UTC)Reply
  • I already introduced Rodríguez, wayyyy back in Bolívar's youth. I used his full name here because it had been so long since I had last mentioned him. As for the failure of his reforms, well, that was a lot of Bolívar going "indigenous people are people too" and passing laws to that effect, and then the very racist ruling class and officials in Peru just not carrying them out. There was a lot of Bolívar cruising into a town, saying and doing something, and then the townspeople going "ok cool thanks anyway" as soon as he left. –♠Vamí_IV†♠ 07:14, 24 April 2023 (UTC)Reply
  • Sorry about that, you did indeed. That was my poor memory after reading the article in big chunks over a few weeks. I still think it might be worth giving a little more information about his failed reforms, but I won't push it. ♠PMC(talk) 17:23, 30 June 2023 (UTC)Reply
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  • "named Bolívar President" is he still dictator of real Peru? What about his offices in Columbia that he didn't get fired/resigned from?
  • "convened without his attendance" - why? Did he bail or were they fucking with him?
  • He- OK. The Congress of Panama is a whole ball of stupid. Bolívar did not want to be present because he thought being there would unduly sway the convention. Bolívar was a poor politician. So he had it convene in Panama, while he was in Peru, and it predictably went absolutely nowhere. I really did not want to get into that on this article (wordcount). –♠Vamí_IV†♠ 00:52, 21 April 2023 (UTC)Reply

Final years

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  • "found the city hostile to him for violations of Colombian law" this needs to be clarified or expanded
  • "Bolívar was deposed as President in Peru and his constitution was repealed." is this related to the Guayaquil mutiny? Otherwise, this seems very abrupt.
  • "was again sworn in as President of Colombia" but they rejected his resignation, wasn't he still president?
  • "as Bolívar declined to campaign" do we know why?
    There were rumors that, after marching into the city with an army, Bolívar would try to seek absolute power, like Bonaparte did, so he avoided to campaign as an assurance of the contrary. Vami IV might be able to give more information on the issue. --NoonIcarus (talk) 18:56, 7 April 2023 (UTC)Reply
    Yes and the reason was dumb: he didn't want to be seen to be, as Mike Duncan puts it, tipping the democratic scales with his sword. –♠Vamí_IV†♠ 23:37, 8 May 2023 (UTC)Reply
  • "when Bolívar's allies staged a walkout that left Colombia without a constitution" why?
The walkout left the convention without the quorum needed to approve the constitution. If you're asking about the motives, I understand this was done in order for Bolívar to stay in power, instead of Santander. Again, Vami might be able to correct me if I'm mistaken. --NoonIcarus (talk) 18:59, 7 April 2023 (UTC)Reply
This is correct. –♠Vamí_IV†♠ 23:17, 30 May 2023 (UTC)Reply
Clarified. –♠Vamí_IV†♠ 23:17, 30 May 2023 (UTC)Reply
I made some alterations, see what you think. ♠PMC(talk) 17:36, 30 June 2023 (UTC)Reply
  • "Padilla, though uninvolved with the attempted coup, was executed" why?
Extended content
  • "to have a Bourbon succeed Bolívar" you may want to clarify this to "member of the House of Bourbon" for people like me who primarily know "a Bourbon" as an alcohol
  • Did Bolivar's letter encourage people to secede and exile him? I don't get the connection
  • If Congress hates Bolivar so much why do they keep rejecting his resignation? Are these people medically stupid?

Death, Personal beliefs, Legacy

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  • Kludging these together since they're fairly short sections
  • "The Quinta near Santa..." does that not belong more properly in Legacy?
  • The Personal beliefs section feels relatively short - this guy is a huge deal, his political philosophy has influenced an entire continent. Similar sections in Gandhi and George Washington (comparative father-of-the-nation types that are both GAs) are much longer. Is there really no more to say about his philosophy and thinking?
  • "unworkable in Spanish America because of the effects of Spanish imperialism on Spanish Americans" - how so?
Extended content
  • His descent into authoritarianism is glossed over in a single sentence, which feels way too fast.
  • I'm normally big on plausible redlinks but I feel like the one for the legacy is an oddity. I might remove it for now, unless you're planning to create that article shortly.
  • I recognize the difficulty in writing the Legacy section, and I understand why you decided to keep it short. However, it feels odd to call out an American soldier but to gloss over everything else that's named after him. Two whole countries and the currency of Venezuela feel way more important. I think you may need to expand this section some more, because right now it feels a bit underbaked.
  • Same thing with the academic analysis - only couple sentences about criticism and then we're on to the cult of Bolivar, and then quite quickly we're on to political legacy. It needs fleshing out, and I think the political legacy should be its own paragraph.
  • There's quite a bit in the navbox that isn't touched on in the legacy, including the cultural depictions and the International Simón Bolívar Prize. For this article to feel complete I think you at least need to mention them.
  • I wonder if a "Personal life" section wouldn't be an appropriate addition, where you could get into his relationships and affairs in more depth? Right now that feels very absent in the article.
  • I really did not want to have to pause every other sentence to say "and then Bolivar slept with this lady" and do not feel a section about this adds anything of value, either. –♠Vamí_IV†♠ 17:31, 9 May 2023 (UTC)Reply

Okay. At long last, the first pass is done. I'm sorry it took so long. I noticed that I often found myself asking why certain things were happening. I'm not sure if it's just me being dense (and I am, self-admittedly, somewhat dense when it comes to history as a topic) or if it's a consequence of trying to save words and glossing over things. But especially with all the flip-flopping of loyalties, it feels important to me to explain to the reader why people are doing stuff. Aside from that, my major criticism is the last few sections, which do feel like they could be increased a bit (as I noted). ♠PMC(talk) 08:42, 7 April 2023 (UTC)Reply

Second pass done. Everything sorted is hatted. Anything unhatted is either not resolved, or I have done something and am leaving it for your review in case you don't like what I've done. ♠PMC(talk) 17:57, 30 June 2023 (UTC)Reply
  • Right. I think we're okay to go here. Anything not addressed is really outside the grounds of GACR, and not worth holding up a long-deserved promotion. ♠PMC(talk) 08:50, 2 July 2023 (UTC)Reply

Source review (Guerillero)

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I am going to be focusing on 2a, 2b, 3a, and 4 here:

Masur (1969)

This line of questions is meant to be a conversation. I am not suggesting any actions from you. I don't think it will be needed for GA, but it will hopefully reveal things that future FA reviewers may ask.

All of your dead tree sourcing is from the last 20 years except Masur (1969). (Aside: you are missing that it is the revised edition.) It has been 74 years since the first edition and 54 years since the revised edition. For any source, that is a long time. With all of the recent scholarship that you have included, I worry that the field has moved past it. In your research, does Masur's biography still hold up as well as it did when he died in 1975? Do the contemporary sources speak of it? If so, in what regard? --In actu (Guerillero) Parlez Moi 12:54, 13 March 2023 (UTC)Reply

I used Masur because his biography of Bolívar is foundational to his English historiography. There are other, older biographies (one from 1910 comes to mind), but the two foundational texts in English - as far as I am aware from reading other works on Bolívar - are Masur and Salvador de Madariaga's Bolívar. The latter is notorious for its bias against Bolívar and apologism for the Spanish Empire, drawing as it does on the biographies of Bolívar by guys he had alienated. As for the content of Masur's biography, it does cleave to the tone of the other four biographies I read except that it is less critical of Bolívar and, unfortunately, has incorrect views of indigenous cultures. I have balanced this against David Lynch's work, which is much more critical.

That said, I'll quote Lynch here (Lynch 2006, p. xii): "In English Salvador de Madariaga's interpretation, extensively researched but basically out of sympathy with its subject, was soon overtaken by Gerhard Masur's more balanced work, which held the field for half a century before it began to show its age."

I have no problem with removing Masur's work from active citation and instead relocating it to #Further reading if it's asked of me down the line. –♠Vamí_IV†♠ 15:22, 13 March 2023 (UTC)Reply


English vs Spanish scholarship

This line of questions is meant to be a conversation. I am not suggesting any actions from you. I don't think it will be needed for GA, but it will hopefully reveal things that future FA reviewers may ask.

With the exception of Cardozo Uzcátegui 2011, you exclusively rely on Anglophone scholarship about Bolívar. In your research, are there any major differences between it and the Spansh-language scholarship? Are we missing anything --In actu (Guerillero) Parlez Moi 12:54, 13 March 2023 (UTC)Reply

We are doubtlessly missing things because I didn't know who to consult out of a lack of familiarity with Spanish-language historiography of Bolívar beyond a couple names. Cardozo Uzcátegui there is a glaring example, since none of the English-language sources I consulted really dwelled on Bolívar's time with Uztariz. I was only familiar with that because of Mike Duncan's Revolutions, which formed the core of my bibliography for this project. The English-language historiography covers all the basics, but if you want anything more granular, anything more esoteric than the life and times of Simón Bolívar, you have to consult Spanish-language sources.

As you can imagine, the Spanish-language historiography is very extensive, but the true scale is even larger than the uninitiated could imagine. This is one of the reasons why you cannot approach Bolívar with the idea that he is merely the Latin American George Washington. Venezuela poured an immense amount of time and effort into obtaining Bolívarian sources and artifacts, researching all of this, compiling and studying it, and then publishing their work. The works (in English) I have consulted - Lynch especially - have sung the praises of Germán Carrera Damas, who is at the top of the list (with Conn 2020) for scholars I'd consult for Legacy of Simón Bolívar or even Historiography of Simón Bolívar. –♠Vamí_IV†♠ 15:32, 13 March 2023 (UTC)Reply

All this said, there is a lot of specialty writing in English now, from Simón Bolívar: Travels and Transformations of a Cultural Icon to essays I saw on JSTOR when I went looking there for more material. Examples that stick in my mind are analyses of his work from a gender studies lens. –♠Vamí_IV†♠ 15:34, 13 March 2023 (UTC)Reply
Vami IV on this question I highly recommend consulting with ReyHahn and NoonIcarus; because there is such extensive scholarship on Bolivar they might have recommendations. I suspect the sources you have used are adequate for GA, but if you are planning to approach FAC, a comprehensive literature survey will be in order. SandyGeorgia (Talk) 15:00, 28 March 2023 (UTC)Reply
For that matter, Krisgabwoosh and 2x2leax would probably also be interested in this review. –♠Vamí_IV†♠ 22:44, 28 March 2023 (UTC)Reply
My understanding of Bolívar is, admittedly, surface-level outside of his interactions with Bolivia, where he only stayed a few months, so keep that in mind with my suggestions.
In general, I'd say that the English sources aid in employing summary style, at least for this to pass as a GA. I understand Vamí is looking at potentially getting this to a Featured Topic, so more detailed Spanish-language sources could be reserved for individual articles.
In terms of getting this article itself to FA, I agree that more Spanish sources will probably be needed. Looking at just the section on his time in Bolivia, a lot could be expanded on his work drafting the Bolivian constitution, for example, especially as he viewed it as 'legacy' of sorts that could be applied to the other Latin American nations—this is touched on later, but there's no real mention of what exactly was in the final document.
For this, I'd recommend consulting some sources by Bolivian authors, and I imagine that Bolívar's experiences in other nations I'm less familiar with could similarly be expanded on using works by historians from those countries. You indicated an interest in creating a Historiography of Simón Bolívar article. My suggestion would be to do that before tackling taking this to FA. That way, you'd have an already-organized library of potential sources to consult. Krisgabwoosh (talk) 00:31, 29 March 2023 (UTC)Reply
Many thanks for the ping, Sandy. I'm interested in participating the review, to read the article and the suggestions so far, but since I'm not sure when I will be able to do it I wantted to comment on this first. I seem to recall that Tomás Polanco Alcántara [es]'s biography on Bolívar was among the best. Germán Carrera Damas, Elías Pino Iturrieta, Caracciolo Parra Pérez [es] and Guillermo Morón are superb Venezuelan historians too, and I'm confident that there must be English versions of their work that can be consulted and could help with the article; I believe Damas' El culto a Bolívar and Iturrieta's El Divino Bolívar can be very useful specifically for the Legacy section. Last but not least, The Bucaramanga Diary [es], by Peru de Lacroix, offers a first hand account and important details about Bolívar's personal life. To put an example, I think I remember content about a visit by Bolívar to a brothel in England. I really hope that these resources can be easily accesible. --NoonIcarus (talk) 22:15, 1 April 2023 (UTC)Reply
Web sources
  • "Ley Disponiendo Que El Ejecutivo Comunique A Bolívar La Abolición De La Constitución Vitalicia Y La Elección De Presidente De La República, 22 de Junio de 1827". 22 June 1827. needs to be built out more
Source text integrity / copyvio
1% sample of citations
Citation number Citation Wikipedia text Comments
81 Slatta & de Grummond 2003, p. 24; Lynch 2006, p. 26; Arana 2013, pp. 65–66. On 18 August 1805, he, del Toro, and Rodríguez traveled to the Mons Sacer, where the plebs had seceded from Rome, Bolívar swore to end Spanish rule in the Americas. Everything was in Lynch and Arana. No copyright concerns
114 Masur 1969, pp. 80–81; Slatta & de Grummond 2003, p. 41; Lynch 2006, pp. 53–54. Miranda, whose return to Venezuela the British government did not desire but could not prevent, Of the two sources I could access, everything was in Masur and Lynch felt more extraneous. "Prevent" is in both the source and Wikipedia with the same general beats, but I think it is fine.
233 Masur 1969, p. 202; Arana 2013, p. 189. who tried to kill Bolívar with a sword Everything was in Arana; Masur felt extraneous. No copyright concerns
260 McFarlane 2014, pp. 404–05. and sent Sucre into Upper Peru to eliminate Olañeta, which he accomplished in April 1825. I don't have access
349 Masur 1969, p. 487; Lynch 2006, p. 278; Arana 2013, p. 456. Bolívar's body, dressed in a borrowed shirt, was interred in the Cathedral Basilica of Santa Marta on 20 December 1830.
  • Lynch: The text that is needed is on 279. Feels extraneous mostly. Mentions the place, month and year of burial. Feels extraneous
  • Arana: Mentions the full date and location of burial
  • Masur: Mentions the Cathedral name and the shirt.

Good enough for GA, but I worry about the over cite issues for FA --Guerillero Parlez Moi 15:06, 26 March 2023 (UTC)Reply

Misc

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If the plan is to approach FA, filling in more of his personal life might be warranted ... mention of numerous other mistresses besides Manuela and more on the importance of her role is his life.
Perhaps more balance could be given to the Cuban- and Chavez-promoted death theories. [1]
Before approaching FAC, I recommend review by ReyHahn and NoonIcarus. SandyGeorgia (Talk) 05:43, 28 March 2023 (UTC)Reply
Re: Bolivar and his many, many dalliances - I opted to banish all but Manuela from the article because I could not conceive of a way that this article would have a #Personal life without it becoming scattershot, since his wife's death has been such a key moment in the historiography. I wish I had more to say about Manuela, because she is very colorful, but this is not an article about Manuela and thus I feel I have said what needs to be said of her role in Bolivar's life as regards our purposes. That said, my work is imperfect in this regard; I dread having to do this later for Manuela since I don't think it would be right to make her article about Bolivar when it's, well, hers. As for the other mistresses, they ultimately did not matter. Bolivar enjoyed the honey without staying for the moon.

Among the many other things that made Manuela unique was that she did her damndest to stay in the limelight. She honestly loved Bolivar and the scholarly consensus, at least in the works I have consulted, is that he loved her too. But how much of this is proper for inclusion in our encyclopedia? –♠Vamí_IV†♠ 05:54, 28 March 2023 (UTC)Reply

The Venezuelan editors might have more to offer on which bits might be worthy; she's a bit of a legend in the "cult of Bolivar".
The word entered stood out to me as overused; perhaps you can find ways to vary it ... he enters Caracas a lot ... returned to Caracas, traveled to Caracas ... ?? SandyGeorgia (Talk) 06:00, 28 March 2023 (UTC)Reply
@SandyGeorgia and Vami IV: The first time around I only get to see the pings regarding the sources. You're on point about Manuelita, starting with the fact the she probably saved his life during the Septembrine Conspiracy. Even with his eventful love life, none other lovers can come to the top of my head, save only for Fanny du Villars, who is a footnote compared to Manuelita. I vaguely recall that the moment they met when Bolívar entered Quito might be notesworthy, if we're considering filling personal details. I think she threw a bouquet of flowers at him while he was on horseback, but I would have to check that. --NoonIcarus (talk) 22:43, 27 April 2023 (UTC)Reply
Indeed! He was parading through the city when a wreath of laurels landed on him from somewhere above. He looked for the thrower and saw Manuela, but it was only a brief glance. He really met her later that day at a ball hosted by Manuela's father and danced the night away. –♠Vamí_IV†♠ 06:18, 28 April 2023 (UTC)Reply
I think this is a detail that could be included, and I'm sure there are plenty more. If Sandy agrees, it can be added. --NoonIcarus (talk) 14:47, 29 April 2023 (UTC)Reply

Additional commentary

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  • Hey guys, as much as I'm sure the pre-FAC commentary is a treasure trove for Vami, can we perhaps move it every so slightly to be on the article's talk page instead of the GA review? Tom and I were trying something experimental by dividing the this up, and I don't want the GA review page to get overwhelmed with additional commentary. Also, if the GA review is ever un-transcluded from the talk page, all of these ideas will be that much harder to find for someone checking the talk page. Cheers, ♠PMC(talk) 07:43, 2 April 2023 (UTC)Reply
    Actually, one of the first things I would check is the GAN, which is conveniently stored and easily found in {{Article history}} (similar to a peer review), which avoids cluttering the talk page with an unnecessary duplicate transclusion and the necessity to troll through past archives. I think this an optimal place, for example, to store a record of sources that would/could be consulted. Alternately, it hits FAC and people think, "oh, it passed GA". The GAN now provides a record of sources needed to meet comprehensiveness, as well as a record that the most knowledgeable Venezuelan reviewers haven't (yet) had time to review. SandyGeorgia (Talk) 10:29, 2 April 2023 (UTC)Reply

Radio Rebelde and death conspiracy theories

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I am separating out my 28 March commentary from above, as it has not been addressed. The article says:

  1. Radio Rebelde is Cuban = bias with respect to chavista claims, conspiracy theories and publicity stunts.
  2. Elías Jaua did not announce what our text states. As one example (a reliable one), Christian Science monitor says:
    • "Now the results of the forensic analyses are out, and they are inconclusive. 'We could not establish the death was by non-natural means or by intentional poisoning. None of those who say this could prove it,' said Vice President Elías Jaua, in a ceremony aired across Venezuela.
  3. Further, the Radio Rebelde source does not state what our text says it states, which makes me worry that all Spanish-language sources used in the article might need checking. It never mentions arsenic poisoning at all, and does not confirm that he died of histoplasmosis either. The source deals mainly with the facial construction, and regarding his death, says only:
    • La Dra. Yanuacelis Cruz Calcaño, cirujana y miembro del equipo de investigación, significó que “se realizaron estudios detallados del tejido óseo, pruebas histológicas, radiológicas y toxicológicas, para evaluar los agentes que pudieron haber afectado a Bolívar, y determinar si padecía tuberculosis u otras enfermedades infecciosas. “Los primeros resultados, nos permiten asegurar que Bolívar padeció una enfermedad de tipo respiratoria crónica que se agravó con un proceso infeccioso, y le produjo dolor torácico, fiebre y secreción. Esa patología, deterioró el proceso respiratorio y la insuficiencia renal, y le provocaron un edema cerebral, con la compresión de centros importantes cardio-respiratorios a nivel de sistema nervioso central, situación que lo llevó a la muerte. “Bolívar no murió de tuberculosis, -- confirma la Dra. Cruz—no obstante, la investigación está abierta para el estudio de la histoplasmosis, un hongo que tiene la particularidad de dar una sintomatología muy similar a la de la tuberculosis”.

Right now, the article is reflecting a chavista/Cuban bias on this issue, and one that does not even accurately present what the Cuban source says. SandyGeorgia (Talk) 11:01, 2 April 2023 (UTC)Reply

With ample reliable sources, there is no need to use a) biased sources, and b) primary medical sources. This article is interpreting Auwaerter's primary source work (see WP:MEDRS) rather than using secondary sources which have done that more accurately. Radio Rebelde should be completely removed, not the least because the article deals with the facial reconstruction (naturally, because they irritated most Venezuelans by digging up and cutting up their hero without finding any evidence of Chavez's conspiracy theory, so they focused instead on rebuilding Bolivar to make him look more indigenous) more than the conspiracy theories, and because reliable sources are available. The primary medical source could be used as an adjunct to what secondary sources say about it. SandyGeorgia (Talk) 11:41, 2 April 2023 (UTC)Reply

Just for the record I want to stress my support with this. If I recall correctly, the academia and the historian community in Venezuelan widely reject this theory, and in essence this has been a fringe theory that has been part of the government's historical revisionism: the idea that Bolívar was assassinated by a oligarchy. The paragraph needs to be balanced accordingly. --NoonIcarus (talk) 13:36, 2 April 2023 (UTC)Reply
I apologize for not addressing this sooner. It appears I have grossly misread the relevant literature for the matter of Bolívar's death, particularly Auwaerter's report, and not given over enough time to grabbing more sources for consultation. As you can imagine, by the time I got to Bolívar's death, I was in a mood to finish and be done with initial drafting as soon as possible (I had been working on this article by then for almost an entire year). I have in recent days become addicted to Genshin Impact, but will make time today and tomorrow for addressing this section.

While I'm here, it may become relevant that the Spanish Wikipedia has an article on Bolívar's death. It appears that this topic (as Conn puts it in the subtitle of his 2020 book on Bolívar's historiography, Bolívar's "afterlife") is probably independently notable from Bolívar himself as a subject of political and academic contention. Thoughts? –♠Vamí_IV†♠ 03:50, 4 April 2023 (UTC)Reply

Glad to hear you are on it, Vami IV.
Re your other query, his death probably warrants its own article, but I wouldn't judge that based on the Spanish Wikipedia (I wouldn't judge anything based on the Spanish Wikipedia, but an extra note of caution is in order for Venezuelan topics on es.Wiki -- besides the usual problems of non-reliable sources, misrepresentation of sources, undue weight, copyvio et al, the POV is rampant.) SandyGeorgia (Talk) 11:56, 4 April 2023 (UTC)Reply
The Spanish Wikipedia article doesn't go over his afterlife, just his death and burials. –♠Vamí_IV†♠ 16:00, 4 April 2023 (UTC)Reply
I noticed that; mine was just a general info note. SandyGeorgia (Talk) 16:03, 4 April 2023 (UTC)Reply
@SandyGeorgia: At long last, this has been effected. Let me know what you think of the new paragraph. –♠Vamí_IV†♠ 21:39, 13 June 2023 (UTC)Reply
Looks good to me; I think you've done a fine job so far. (Unsure if it is yet FA material, as Spanish-language sources may need to be considered). SandyGeorgia (Talk) 23:02, 13 June 2023 (UTC)Reply
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The extensive use of interlanguage links (ILL) to the Spanish Wiki is most impressive and to be commended, but hiding the actual names of things/articles/battles/campaigns behind Easter-eggy links should be minimized. It's also possible via an ILL to name the article as it would be named on en.wiki (although I forget how). Generally, the Easter egg links could be minimized throughout (not just on ILLs). SandyGeorgia (Talk) 12:04, 2 April 2023 (UTC)Reply

This has now been effected. –♠Vamí_IV†♠ 23:06, 30 May 2023 (UTC)Reply
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.