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Latest comment: 17 years ago1 comment1 person in discussion
Um ... didn't exist back when this song came out, so why is it shown charting at #36? —The preceding unsigned comment was added by 71.195.77.130 (talk) 20:05, March 24, 2007 (UTC)
Latest comment: 17 years ago1 comment1 person in discussion
Pass: The article meets the requirements, but doesn't read like a very pleasant article. It's very nice the way it is, but I offer several suggestions that are based on personal preference:
Streamline your writing, make some compound sentences alongside shorter statements. The way it is now makes it seem as if each fact was extracted from the reference separately, and makes for very choppy reading. Also, iterations of the title could still be reduced, though it's obvious you did a good job the first time around.
I'm not sure if this is standard in these articles, but details like chord progressions and what specific notes the song reach are totally necessary. "Music and structure" delves into too much detail, and possibly could be merged with the preceding section.
In "chart performance," make clear a separation between international and domestic results. Use a conjunction (probably "However") or make it a new paragraph. Also, any information on why it was such a failure?
Muller seems significant enough to warrant a parenthetical clause describing her profession. (...Muller, a prominent British music video director.)
That's all, I don't have much to say because the article is very good. I think the sections are short, but not void of content, meaning I think the two chart sections could be merged somehow, the aforementioned detail could be cut, and overall the writing could use a massage (but that's always the case). ALTON.ıl00:11, 8 November 2007 (UTC)Reply