Talk:Sins of My Father (song)

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Sins of My Father (song)/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: DAP388 (talk · contribs) 21:37, 6 July 2012 (UTC)

Let's begin the review, shall we?

• There is one disambiguation page in the article.

•  Done — Tomica (talk) 00:10, 8 July 2012 (UTC)

Lead

• "Co-written by Usher alongside Terry Lewis and the song's co-producers Salaam Remi and Rico Love, "Sins of My Father" tells the story of a "tortured soul" in a "volatile" relationship." This is phrased awkwardly, especially the first part of the sentence. Perhaps this is better, ""Sins of My Father", a collaborative effort between Usher, Terry Lewis, Salaam Remi, and Rico Love, tells the story of a "tortured soul" in a "volatile" relationship."

•  Done — Tomica (talk) 00:10, 8 July 2012 (UTC)

Background and recording

• "In 2009 interview with People Magazine," Add an a between "in" and "2009".

•  Done — Tomica (talk) 00:10, 8 July 2012 (UTC)

• I'm not sure why Raymond v. Raymond is illustrated in such detail in the article, let alone even mentioned. Unless you can provide an argument on the relevancy of that part, it should be removed.

• It is gone into so much detail because the music of Looking 4 Myself is a complete departure. Statυs (talk) 00:05, 8 July 2012 (UTC)

• That's right, it shows from what stadium Looking 4 Myself later developed. — Tomica (talk) 00:10, 8 July 2012 (UTC)

Composition

• Apparently the New York Daily News is just Daily News.

•  Done — Tomica (talk) 00:10, 8 July 2012 (UTC)

• The narrator believes that the status of his relationship is Karma for his father being a rolling stone." Given that it's directly from Fitzgerald's article, this should either be quite or reworded. Otherwise, it's plagiarism.

•  Done — Tomica (talk) 00:10, 8 July 2012 (UTC)

• "The pre-chorus features Usher yelping in falsetto: : “But she didn’t make me pay for it with my money! / OWWWW!!!"." Remove the extra colon.

•  Done — Tomica (talk) 00:10, 8 July 2012 (UTC)

Critical reception

• Wikilink Consequence of Sound.

•  Done — Tomica (talk) 00:10, 8 July 2012 (UTC)

Charts

• Add a comma after "downloads".

•  Done — Tomica (talk) 00:10, 8 July 2012 (UTC)

That's it. On hold until these issues are fixed. —DAP388 (talk) 21:33, 7 July 2012 (UTC)

Looks good. Happy to pass this article. —DAP388 (talk) 06:15, 8 July 2012 (UTC)

Background info

So today I removed a bulk of background information from 2009 that had nothing to do with this song (2012). This was later reverted with the rationale: "it tells the diffence between the two albums". IMO I don't see why so much background information is necessary. So can we have some sort of discussion on this as to whether it's all necessary. Till 11:00, 7 August 2012 (UTC)

"In an 2009 interview with People Magazine, Usher, whose private life has been highly documented after filing for divorce from wife Tameka Foster, told that his sixth studio album will be, "racy, risky and edgy, and sometimes about personal experiences."" is the only thing that I could see to be removed. The rest is relevant. Well, and "At the 53rd Grammy Awards, held at the Staples Center in Los Angeles on February 13, 2011, the album won the accolades for Best Contemporary R&B Album and Best Male R&B Vocal Performance." Statυs (talk) 11:06, 7 August 2012 (UTC)

Why he's still Looking 4 Himself Statυs (talk) 11:08, 7 August 2012 (UTC)

Okay Till, I don't know how much you are familiar with Usher's life and career, but he divorced his wife in 2009 and release 2 consecutive albums where he explained the aftermath; the single life (I bet he is not so single as he says however...) after a load years of marriage. So that's the reason I put that relevant information in the background cause in fact it really bothers both Looking 4 Myself and the song. The song actually is for Tameka Foster. — Tomica (talk) 11:11, 7 August 2012 (UTC)

"Upon its release, Raymond v. Raymond received generally mixed reviews from music critics, who were ambivalent towards its songwriting and themes.[3][4] However, the album was commercial success and peaked at number one on the US Billboard 200 chart, with sales of 329,000 for its first week; it became Usher's third consecutive US number one album.[5] Raymond v. Raymond spawned five singles including the international hits—"OMG" and "More"." — How is this relevant to the article in question? This is information from 2009, we are now in 2012. What needs to be said can be done on the relevant article, not on a track from a completely different album. Till 11:12, 7 August 2012 (UTC)

Also, now that we are here—shouldn't "stuff" be staff? Till 11:16, 7 August 2012 (UTC)