Talk:Skeletons on the Zahara/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: María (habla conmigo) 13:06, 12 April 2011 (UTC)

Hello, I will be reviewing this article for GAC. I'm not entirely convinced it's there just yet, but with a little hard work I think it might make it. :) Here is how it stands against the criteria:

1. Well-written: For the most part; see issues below.
2. Factually accurate and verifiable: Yes.
3. Broad in its coverage: Lead needs expansion per WP:LEAD. Missing plot summary? Critical reviews? See below.
4. Neutral: Yes.
5. Stable: Yes.
6. Illustrated, if possible, by images: Yes, FU image has correct rationale.

Prose

There are various issues with the article not being well-written in parts. Some examples:

• Based directly on Captain James Riley's memoir Sufferings in Africa, Amazon.com listed Skeletons on the Zahara as their #6 Best History Book of 2004. -- Amazon.com's listing has nothing to do with what the book was based upon. I suggest splitting these two thoughts and expanding on the first idea; who is Captain James Riley, for example?
• King was first inspired to research the subject matter in 1995 when he was in the New York Yacht Club library researching Harbors and High Seas, which he would publish in 2000. "Research... researching" repetition, and over-wordiness. Perhaps condense, or else expand and split into two sentences. Was Harbors and High Seas his first book?
• After a desperate attempt to survive in the Zaharan desert, he and his crew were forced in slavery by Arab tribesmen. -- I believe it's supposed to be "into slavery", but correct me if I'm wrong.
• often using the libraries at the University of Richmond and the Library of Virginia, and even the Science Museum of Virginia. -- Not sure why "and even" is here. Is it that strange? "the University of Richmond, the Library of Virginia, and the Science Museum of Virginia"?
• Knowing sailors are notorious for embellishing their histories, he crosschecked the accounts, something no academic had yet done. -- This could use a reference, since it's such a big claim.
• After his initial research, King had written a proposal and already signed a $750,000 contract... -- Why the past-perfect here? "King wrote a proposal and signed a $750,000 contract" would read better.
• King decided to personally retrace their struggles through the desert. -- I'm sure King's team wasn't taken into slavery, so really he didn't retrace all of their "struggles". :) Their path? Progress?

Coverage

These points need to be taken care of in order for the article to be broad in its coverage:

• The lead needs to be expanded so that it touches upon the main points already present in the article per WP:LEAD. I'm not convinced that Amazon.com's ranking of the novel is more important than what the New York Times, or other notable sources ranked it as. Perhaps consider re-writing this bit?
• Where is the plot summary? I wouldn't consider an article dedicated to a work of fiction (even if it is historical in nature) complete without a plot summary. For guidelines as to writing one, see Wikipedia:Manual of Style (writing about fiction)#Plot summaries.
• The "Media coverage" section currently lists the magazines/newspapers where the novel was reviewed, but little mention of what the reviews said. Quotes would be great -- such as the one included from Entertainment Weekly, which is great -- as would a general idea of if the book was received positively, negatively, etc. In short, how was the reception?

As you can see, this needs some more work, but if the main contributors are interested I think it can be greatly improved within the week allowed for this GAC review. I'm putting the article on hold for now. If you have any questions, let me know! María (habla conmigo) 13:06, 12 April 2011 (UTC)

This article has been on hold for a week with no improvements. As such, I'm failing it for GAC at this time. Please ensure that the above suggestions have been taken into account before submitting this article to GAC again. María (habla conmigo) 13:25, 19 April 2011 (UTC)