Talk:Somebody to Love (30 Rock)/GA1
Latest comment: 16 years ago by 97198 in topic GA Review
GA Review
editLooking good, but a few little easily-fixed issues to point out:
- It was written by Kay Cannon and, the series' creator, Tina Fey and was directed by Beth McCarthy -- seems to be some confusion with commas here. How about removing the comma after "and" and adding another after "Fey"?
- No need to relink the bracketed names of guest actors who were mentioned in the third sentence, i.e. Edie Falco and so on.
- Add a semicolon after first "terrorist" to separate storylines.
- Are the linked John McCain and Jack Bauer correct, as in the politician and the 24 character? I don't watch 30 Rock, but if these are right, maybe at least mention who Jack Bauer is.
- Jack meets C.C. who is the democratic congresswoman for Vermont -- we've just used "which" so maybe replace the "who is" here with a comma.
- Do we really need to link sex? Seems to be basic vocabulary these days ;)
- C.C. is suing, the Sheinhardt Wig Company -- get rid of the comma.
- the company that Jack works for due to them allegedly -- we can add a comma in here after "for".
- Should "River" be capitalised in "Chicktaugua river"?
- Bill Clinton doesn't need a capitalised "Office".
- Jack, along with Tracy Jordan (Tracy Morgan), follow her there -- this grammatically doesn't make sense. How about just "Jack and Tracy..."?
- "Infact" is in fact two words.
- a weekly sketch comedy series, which airs on NBC, in the United States -- I think it's safe to get rid of both commas here.
- 100-days later -- no need for a hyphen.
- at the time of the broadcast, in the U.S. -- no comma necessary, and a second full-stop needed as it's the end of the sentence, even if it does look funny.
- Webb Mitovich did think that "the "Liz suspects the neighbor is a terrorist" story played out rather well." -- firstly, I think it's easier to read if the sentence just begins with "he", and also quotes-inside-quotes should be single quotation marks like 'these'.
- I personally don't think it's necessary to mention the years of the awards ("in 2008", "in the same year") as the awards always correspond to the airdate of the episode, which we've already established was 2008.
I think that's pretty much it. Good luck with the improvements, the article's on hold for a week. —97198 talk 09:13, 25 July 2008 (UTC)
- Thanks for the review. I think I fixed all raised points. Corn.u.co.pia ŢĐЌ Disc.us.sion 15:42, 25 July 2008 (UTC)
- All looks good! I'm going to go ahead and promote to GA :) —97198 talk 12:14, 26 July 2008 (UTC)