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Talk:Staats Long Morris/GA1

< Talk:Staats Long Morris
Latest comment: 2 years ago by Amitchell125 in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Latest comment: 2 years ago18 comments2 people in discussion
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Reviewer: Amitchell125 (talk · contribs) 14:44, 8 January 2022 (UTC)Reply


Happy to review this article.

Review

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Lead section / Infobox

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  • Unlink death in office (twice); Britain; England (in infobox); United Kingdom (in infobox), as these are commonly understood terms.
Done
  • Convert 10,000 acres
I'm sorry, but I don't know what you want me to do here. Would you be so kind as to elaborate?
Apologies for not being clearer. Replace 10,000 acres with {{convert|10000|acres}} and you automatically get 10,000 acres (4,000 ha). Amitchell125 (talk) 21:57, 10 January 2022 (UTC)Reply
Done
  • No capital in General (4th paragraph)
Done
  • Duplicate links to remove: British Army; general; governor of Quebec
Done
Again- I'm sorry, but I don't know what you want me to do here. Would you be so kind as to elaborate?
Not to worry, there was a warning sign in a box on the image's page that needs sorting. I've sorted out this issue for you. Amitchell125 (talk) 22:05, 10 January 2022 (UTC)Reply
Thank you

1 Early life

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  • Link judge
Done
  • Growing up is redundant, as all boys grow up before reaching adulthood
Removed
  • The second paragraph is one long sentence. It needs should be split to help make the text more readable.
Done
  • Lewis (in Morris' grandfather Lewis) needs to be introduced
Done
  • Amend entered into a career of military service to something like ‘joined the Army’?
Well, he didn't technically join the British Army, but the NY colonial militia. So I reworded it to fit your suggestion but be technically accurate.
  • Comma after When governor of Massachusetts
Done
  • The plural of 'aide-de-camp' is 'aides-de-camp'
Done

2 Career in Britain

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  • Unlink England
Done
  • Consider combining some of the short paragraphs, and shortening the longer sentences, to help improve readability
Could you give some examples?
I'd combine the last two paragraphs; At the time of their marriage, Morris was only at the rank of captain and ten years her junior;as a means of both advancing her husband's military career and countering the political influence of the Argyll family (vis-à-vis that of the Gordon family); The recruiting efforts for the new regiment, spurred on by the reputation of the Duchess, were so successful that within a few weeks 960 recruits had assembled at Gordon Castle; To the dismay of the Duchess,[9] the regiment was ordered to sail to India as part of the ongoing Seven Years' War could be made into separate sentences. AM
Okay, I reworded the section again. Does this meet your approval, or do you think more needs to be changed?
It all looks good. AM
  • Morris himself left England – why himself?
He didn't leave England initially- the sources don't say why, unfortunately. Reworded.
Perhaps 'In April1792 Morris left England to join the 89th. He remained in India...'? AM
Okay, I reworded the section again. Does this meet your approval, or do you think more needs to be changed?
Now sorted. AM
  • Unlink or amend the link to India (the link goes to a country that didn’t exist before the 1940s)
Done

3 Later career and death

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  • Unlink New York (duplicated link)
Done
  • After the war – it’s a good to remind readers which war is being referred to here (as it’s a new section)
Done
  • Convert 10,000 acres
See above
Done
  • the War Office – perhaps 'the War Office in London'?
Done
  • When war broke out – I would consider specifying the name of the war within the link
Done
Done
  • the next year – consider specifying the year
Done
  • Lord North needs to be introduced
Done
  • Unlink death in office.
Done
  • The remarriage led relations between Morris and the Duke of Gordon to rapidly deteriorate – do we know why?
The Duke was upset he remarried after Catherine died, esp. so quickly. How do you propose I add this?
I'm unclear how the deceased husband of a woman whose widower remarried a year after his first wife's death could be upset by this. Have I missed something? :) Amitchell125 (talk) 10:24, 11 January 2022 (UTC)Reply
Sorry, I must have not been clear. I think it's because I didn't specify that the article talks about two Dukes of Gordon, the 3rd and 4th ones. The third duke, Cosmo Gordon, died in 1752. His son, the 4th Duke (Alexander Gordon) inherited his title the same year. The 4th Duke was upset that Staats remarried at all after his mother's death (in 1779), and his anger was exacerbated by how quickly Staats did so. I've reworded the section now- would you be kind enough to give me your opinion?
Great! AM
  • Amend the former was said to be to 'Morris was' to improve the prose
Done
  • General has no capital letter
Done

More comments to follow. Amitchell125 (talk) 15:22, 10 January 2022 (UTC)Reply

4.2 Books

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Dabberoni15 - as I have to search online for all the texts in this section so as to verify the citations, do you want me to continue producing a list of links in this review? As far as I can tell, the links are not required at GA, but they might be very useful to include for readers. Amitchell125 (talk) 16:05, 10 January 2022 (UTC)Reply

Hi. Thanks for reviewing this so quickly. This is my first ever article which has undergone a GA review, so please be patient with me if I require some explanation. As to your links point, please do produce a list of links, I will add them to the reflist. I will also start checking off the list of issues you have raised. Warmest regards.Dabberoni15 (talk) 16:18, 10 January 2022 (UTC)Reply
Great, I'll finish the list. Amitchell125 (talk) 22:06, 10 January 2022 (UTC)Reply
I'm unclear what '90' means in your reply below. Amitchell125 (talk) 13:46, 11 January 2022 (UTC)Reply
Hi. I've added more url links to the reflist. What do you think?
@Dabberoni15: The links all look OK. The formatting of this section is not quite correct, but at GA it only needs to be possible for a reader/editor to be able to verify the text in the article, and this can be done. I'm happy to help you with improving the section beyond GA, just let me know. Amitchell125 (talk) 15:02, 11 January 2022 (UTC)Reply
Hi, me again. I'm sorry to say that due to the fact that I am a relatively inexperienced editor, I don't know how to properly format the references section. Perhaps you could tell me how? If not, then maybe its something we can do later. I'm also sorry to say that I don't think I currently have the time to push the article beyond GA status, as some personal developments have come up. If I'm not mistaken, every one of your issues has been addressed with the exception of the Lord North issue. Is there still an issue with that, or do you consider it resolved? Dabberoni15 (talk) 15:47, 11 January 2022 (UTC)Reply
The issues I've raised have now all been addressed. I'll go ahead and correct any glaring problems with the formatting (e.g. the order of the sources). I've yet to check all the information in the article has been verified, I'll have done that in a day or so. Amitchell125 (talk) 16:23, 11 January 2022 (UTC)Reply

More comments to follow. I'll cross out the comments that have been addressed, and add a cross ( N) to any I think still need to be looked at. Amitchell125 (talk) 08:25, 11 January 2022 (UTC)Reply

Cheers. Just one thing, I was under the assumption that the reflist was in alphabetical order. Could you point what I have to do to actually make it so? Dabberoni15 (talk) 11:29, 11 January 2022 (UTC)Reply
Sorry, the reflist organises the citations, but the list of books in the article has to be edited by hand to make it alphabetical. Amitchell125 (talk) 13:42, 11 January 2022 (UTC)Reply
Also, the volume you're looking for number 90. Hope this helps. Dabberoni15 (talk) 11:36, 11 January 2022 (UTC)Reply

Other comments

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Done

Passing

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Congratulations! Also, thanks for your courtesy and cooperation with this review, it's so appreciated. I sort out the amendments to any talk pages, you simply sit back and feel pleased. Amitchell125 (talk) 21:10, 12 January 2022 (UTC)Reply

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