Talk:Stadio Olimpico/GA1
GA Review
editThe following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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Nominator: Blackcat (talk · contribs) 19:09, 25 February 2024 (UTC)
Reviewer: Rollinginhisgrave (talk · contribs) 04:27, 30 July 2024 (UTC)
I'll pick this one up. Rollinginhisgrave (talk) 04:27, 30 July 2024 (UTC)
General Comments
editI can see you last edited 10 days ago, so I'll keep this open until you have a chance to see this has been opened. I'll be adding comments as I go. Rollinginhisgrave (talk) 06:03, 30 July 2024 (UTC)
I will leave it there, I've written plenty for you to respond to, if these issues are addressed I will continue. I've also completed a ce as I went which I hope helps you out. The issue of balance will need to be addressed, there is too much detail. It is also a weakness that the discussion of the stadium's structure is built across the history section; most other GAs have a section dedicated to Structure and amenities. I don't think I'll hold this against the nomination, but the article is certainly unusually heavy on history. Rollinginhisgrave (talk) 06:03, 30 July 2024 (UTC)
Thanks for making these clarifications. We will wait and see if anyone is interested in helping out. Rollinginhisgrave (talk) 16:46, 30 July 2024 (UTC)
Hi Blackcat, I don't think anyone is going to come to help out here. I'm really sorry. Thankyou for all your work, if someone wants to work on this article in the future they will have this review available to them. Rollinginhisgrave (talk) 12:36, 6 August 2024 (UTC)
Prose/content
editIn 1990, the Olimpico was rebuilt and roofed
It sounds like it started being rebuilt before that?- A: Yes, it was rebuilt in the period 1988-1990.
Later in the decade, l'Unità also accused Valente of mortgaging the complex for three billion lire (approx. 1,500,000 € or 1,600,000 $), to finance ENAL[1] that Valente directed in establishing an alternative betting pool to the Totocalcio (organized by CONI).
this sentence is confusing. What is ENAL? What is the Totocalcio? Unsure what is happening.- ENAL is the acronym of Ente Nazionale Assistenza Lavoratori (National Board for Workers' Welfare). The then director was Giovanni Valente, who was also the head of the National Committee for Youth, which was the owner [of the Stadio Olimpico]. CONI is the Italian Olympic Committee and was the tenant of the Stadio Olimpico. Coni ran Totocalcio, which was - and still is - a football betting pool in which you must predict exactly the result of 13 matches to win the prize. ENAL launched ENALOTTO, which was a betting pool in which you had to predict the range of 12 numbers from the national lottery (Lotto, sort of Bingo). Valente mortgaged the Olimpico in order to finance the new betting pool organized by ENAL. He was then accused to boycott Totocalcio using public money in order to defund CONI and attempting to lead it to its folding in order to favour the Catholic sports association.
In 1952, the stadium's reconstruction was completed, at a cost of 3,400,000,000 lire (approx 1,700,000 €).
in 1952 money? In today's money?- 1952's
It was composed of two parallel stands of approximately 140 metres each
reword to reflect this is length.- "It was composed of two parallel stands approximately 140 metres long" might be better?
The decision made works to make the stadium compliant for the event more urgent.
confusing. Clarify.- Yes, you're right. It sounds confusing to me too, now. I wanted to say that the decision [to assign the Olympics to Rome] strenghtened the urgency to start the works to adapt to Olympic requirements.
Three gold medals were won by American sprinter Wilma Rudolph, in the 100 metres, also a world record at the time
The world record was winning three gold medals in the 100 metre category- of course no :) I meant that Rudolph's performance was also a world record.
consisting of Bernd Cullmann, Armin Hary, Walter Mahlendorf and Martin Lauer
Going into detail in who the members of the team that won the men's 4x100 relay at an event the stadium hosted is WP:UNDUE. A lot of the history goes into what I would consider unnecessary detail, such as "Czechoslovakia played well in the group stage, with a 3–1 victory against Greece", "ticket revenue was about ₤1.15 billion (about €590,000)" etc. Here are some examples of FA Stadiums [1], [2], [3]. They are a higher standard than is needed on this page for GA, but you can see that they meet UNDUE by only referring to details of matches when it relates to the stadium, i.e. attendance records, spectators looking over fences impacting future construction etc.
- I never wrote such thing. I am not used to do. I wrote Again Czekoslovakia featured in the stadium during the group stage, with a win 3–1 over Greece;. It was introduced with this diff. Accuracy apart, if you think it's undue, for me no problem to cut.
- Provide a gloss on what scudetto is.
- Scudetto ("Little shield") is a tricolour badge representing the Italian flag which appears on the jerseys of a team which win an Italian championship of whatever sport. It's worn in the season after the victory and testifies that the team is the incumbent Italian champion. By metonymy, "To win the Scudetto" means "To win the Championahip" or "the League".
the latter remains amongst the longest-lasting sports records
update (as of 23 days ago haha)- Ha yes, I corrected it on the Italian article, you're right.
Mid-way between the athletics events was the 1984 European Cup final, well-attended since AS Roma was one of the contestants for the title; the other was Liverpool, the winners at the same venue in 1977.
This sentence is a bit wordy, needs a rewrite.- I need a native speaker. Thank you for pointing out, anyway.
One week before the final, FIFA chose Italy to host the 14th World Cup in 1990. In the bid submitted by the Italian football federation to FIFA, Rome was proposed for the tournament's final.
Was this proposal after FIFA chose Italy?- To be precise, Rome was designated as host of the Final in the 1990 WC bid submitted to FIFA in 1983.
The estimated cost of the renovation was ₤35–40 billion (€17.5–20 million).
Clarify if this is 1980s value or today's.- late 1980s
CONI appointed the joint venture CO.GE.FAR. as the general contractor ready to begin work.
Could you clarify the last bit?- To be precise, I wrote "CONI appointed the joint venture CO.GE.FAR. as general contractor, which was ready to start the works". They were ready but a court stopped the works.
the Southern Stand worksite was seized by the court
I don't think that's the correct phrasing- To say it simple, a judge seized the worksite because of some work accidents caused by lack of safety measures.
The roof consists of a 13-metre-high (43 ft) outer steel ring which is 29 metres (95 ft) above the ground on 12 steel pillars and four external concrete stair blocks which are also pillars; radial bearing and stabilizing cables hold an inner steel ring.
very wordy- Yes, you're right. Here should be an architect or an engineer.
The roof consists of
Every sentence in this paragraph begins with "the roof", avoid repetitionthe figure was tainted by possible irregularities in the tender
avoid colloquialisms, clarify meaning- the journalistic report mentions some of the reasons for the judges' sentences [about the inflated prices of the works] in which, precisely, irregularities in the tenders are mentioned
The "Azzurri"
WP:ELEVAR- "Azzurri" is how are normally called the sportspeople competing for Italy at international level. Would be better to use "The Italians"? -- Blackcat 16:21, 30 July 2024 (UTC)
Rollinginhisgrave (talk) 06:03, 30 July 2024 (UTC)
- Thanks @Rollinginhisgrave:, but I asked for help just because I am not a native speaker of English. Anyway, all the prices are of the time, not today's. And for the UNDUE details, I understand if they must be cut. -- Blackcat 07:24, 30 July 2024 (UTC)
- I don't understand what "but I asked for help" means. Are you asking for my help? I would love to help you, as best I can, but I can't rewrite the whole article. Is there feedback you need me to say more simply? Thankyou for the clarification on money, I would suggest you use the inflation template so people know how much it is worth today. Rollinginhisgrave (talk) 07:27, 30 July 2024 (UTC)
- Blackcat, may I suggest you get a co-nominator or just some help for this nomination? I am worried communication will be an issue. WP:FOOTBALL seems very active. Rollinginhisgrave (talk) 07:51, 30 July 2024 (UTC)
- Rollinginhisgrave I mean that there are some things I cannot reword better than I did. That apart, the article has also been submitted to a copyediting thus I supposed that the parts less understandable were clarified by a native speaker. As for the template inflation, that's a thing I didn't know, now I'll use it - - 15:38, 30 July 2024 (UTC)
- I would strongly suggest you ask for help at WP:FOOTBALL, as changes will need to be made to the article that go beyond what I am willing to do as a reviewer. If you can't revise the article to address issues with WP:UNDUE I won't be able to pass it. Rollinginhisgrave (talk) 15:42, 30 July 2024 (UTC)
- Rollinginhisgrave I mean that there are some things I cannot reword better than I did. That apart, the article has also been submitted to a copyediting thus I supposed that the parts less understandable were clarified by a native speaker. As for the template inflation, that's a thing I didn't know, now I'll use it - - 15:38, 30 July 2024 (UTC)