Talk:Star Trek: Enterprise/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Aoba47 (talk · contribs) 02:36, 26 August 2016 (UTC)

Grabbing this for a review. Aoba47 (talk) 02:36, 26 August 2016 (UTC)

Lead and infobox

• In the infobox, please identify the artist who performs the opening theme “Faith of the Heart”.

• Done. Miyagawa (talk) 09:29, 26 August 2016 (UTC)

• I think you are missing a verb in the second to last sentence of the lead’s first paragraph. “Introduce” applies to the Xindi, but it seems odd to say “the repercussions of a direct attack on Earth” was introduced in this season. I would recommend adding another verb for this part of the sentence.

• I've redrafted that a little. Miyagawa (talk) 09:29, 26 August 2016 (UTC)

• In the last sentence of the second paragraph of the lead, I would revise the parts about the theme song for clarity. What was different about this opening theme from the previous installments of the franchise?

• I've clarified that, and added a new line and cite to the article body to enforce it. Miyagawa (talk) 09:29, 26 August 2016 (UTC)

Series overview

• I would elevate the language in the following phrase “However the remaining main characters had their moments during that season with episodes such as…” as it sounds pretty informal. Also add a comma between “However” and “the”.

• I've switched the arguments in that sentence around and trimmed some, so that should read better now. Miyagawa (talk) 09:29, 26 August 2016 (UTC)

• Capitalize “Earth” in the first paragraph of the “The Xindi” sub-section.

• Done. Miyagawa (talk) 09:29, 26 August 2016 (UTC)

• Revise “The Xindi themselves were developed in part on set with discussions with the writers…” to “The Xindi themselves were developed from on-set discussions with the writers…” for better sentence construction and clarity.

• Changed as suggested. Miyagawa (talk) 09:29, 26 August 2016 (UTC)

• I would recommend breaking up the last sentence of the second paragraph in the “The Xindi” sub-section as it is a little bit of a run-on.

• Broken in two as suggested. Miyagawa (talk) 09:29, 26 August 2016 (UTC)

Cast and characters

• Everything looks great here!

Production

• Please ALTs to all of the images. Make sure to add an ALT to the image in the “Cast and characters” section as well.

• Done. Miyagawa (talk) 09:39, 26 August 2016 (UTC)

• I do not know what you mean by “a further actress”

• It was only because I don't know who the third actress was - but I've removed it. Miyagawa (talk) 09:29, 26 August 2016 (UTC)

• Add a comma between “Throughout the production on Enterprise” and “there were rumors”

• Done. Miyagawa (talk) 09:29, 26 August 2016 (UTC)

• Could you provide any further information on why the theme song received a negative reaction from existing Star Trek fans? It is okay as it currently stands, but it would be helpful to add something if possible for clarity.

• Without citing message boards (always a little dodgy) I couldn't give altogether precise reasons. Reports on the reaction I've seen don't go into it any further than "they didn't like it". A few later writers slammed it, and Simon Pegg even claimed that he hated the song so much that he didn't watch the show. It's kinda like asking a Star Wars fan why they hate Jar Jar Binks. They just kinda do. Miyagawa (talk) 09:29, 26 August 2016 (UTC)

• Everything else looks great.

Broadcast and release

• Is there a reason why the ratings and rank for the third season are missing from the chart?

• Because after trying to track it down for five years, I haven't found a reliable source for it. Well, that's a lie. I found one and added it. Then stupidly I didn't archive it and the website died, and it hadn't already been archived on archive.org. Enterprise is also seriously unloved regarding source material. For TNG and TOS there are more books than you can ever own really. DS9 has several, but two really good ones. Voyager has a couple, but then around season 4 all the decent books end. Enterprise on the other hand never had an official book written about it - the closest it comes was a short feature at the back of the novelisation of the pilot but that only covers the first five episodes or so. Miyagawa (talk) 09:29, 26 August 2016 (UTC)

Influence

• In the first sentence of the second paragraph, I do not believe the “But” at the beginning of the sentence is not necessary.

• Removed as suggested. Miyagawa (talk) 09:29, 26 August 2016 (UTC)

References

• Reference 31 needs to have the access date corrected. The same comment applies to Reference 79.

• Done. Not sure how that happened. Miyagawa (talk) 09:29, 26 August 2016 (UTC)

Final comments

• @Miyagawa: This is a very strong article and very informative read. My comments are primarily minor/nitpicky. Once my comments are addressed, this should be a quick and easy pass. Please let me know if you need any clarification on my review. Aoba47 (talk) 03:44, 26 August 2016 (UTC)

• @Aoba47: I think I've addressed everything now. The only thing outstanding is the season 3 mission figures, which simply aren't avaliable. Miyagawa (talk) 09:39, 26 August 2016 (UTC)

• @Miyagawa: Thank you for your quick responses. Ratings are always tricky things to find, especially from a reliable source. I just wanted to make sure that this was the case. Great job with the article. ✓ Pass If possible, could you review my GAN for Janeway Lambda one? Aoba47 (talk) 15:25, 26 August 2016 (UTC)