Talk:Steve Morrison (American football)/GA1
Latest comment: 15 years ago by Truco in topic GA Review
GA Review
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Review by Truco (talk · contribs)
- Lead
- He now serves as the defensive coordinator for the Western Michigan Broncos football team. - it needs to be elaborated that whether this is college or professional football
- I hope I did not go overboard in expanding this sentence.--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTM) 05:56, 22 January 2009 (UTC)
- Nope, its fine.--TRUCO 21:26, 22 January 2009 (UTC)
- I hope I did not go overboard in expanding this sentence.--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTM) 05:56, 22 January 2009 (UTC)
- After retiring from professional football as a player, he began a coaching career by performing as defensive coordinator for Michigan High School Athletic Association football champion Brother Rice High School (his high school alma mater) for two years. - this makes no sense, the punctuation throw the flow of the sentence (read it aloud and you will see), reword
- How is it now?--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTM) 06:00, 22 January 2009 (UTC)
- Much better.--TRUCO 21:26, 22 January 2009 (UTC)
- How is it now?--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTM) 06:00, 22 January 2009 (UTC)
- Early years
- He was inducted in the 1995 Hall of Fame class that included among others Shawn Respert - the among others should be after Shawn Respert with a comma after Respert
- As a junior who played both fullback and linebacker, he was sidelined for the remainder of the season with a knee injury in his third game, but the team went 7–2 in for the season despite his loss. - "injury" not loss
- The team had been ranked as the number three high school team in the Detroit Area by the Detroit Free Press in its pre-season poll and Morrison had been hailed as a blue chip athlete entering his senior season in the same pre-season summary. - split this sentence, its too long
- He has since been passed by Jarrett Irons and Sam Sword and stands fifth with 220 tackles. - comma before the second and
- Professional Career
- The National Football League (NFL) needs to be spelled out with the acronym.
- I put this in the LEAD.--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTM) 06:23, 22 January 2009 (UTC)
- Despite the playoff success, they changed coaches as Lindy Infante took them back to the 1996-97 NFL playoffs with a 9-7 record, only to fall in the wildcard game to the Steelers again. - comma before as
- In 1997 and 1998, the team had losing seasons although Morrison started more games as his career progressed. - comma before although
- How did he end his NFL career and transitioned to his high school defensive coordinator career? Its not clear in the prose.
- I think the sentence I put in the wrong place confused you. After moving the sentence, the prose now says he was waived in 1999 and began coaching in 2000. That seems pretty clear to me.--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTM) 06:45, 22 January 2009 (UTC)
- In 2008, after defensive coordinator, Bill Miller left to be the Louisville Cardinals football linebacker coach, - remove the comma before the name of Miller and the final comma should be a period
- So what's his followup now that it is 2009?
- In the absence of news a coach is assumed to continue to the next season. He continues to be Defensive Coordinator until there is news to the contrary.--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTM) 07:18, 22 January 2009 (UTC)
- It needs to be made clear that his career in college football is part of the NCAA, etc.
- O.K. done in LEAD.--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTM) 06:48, 22 January 2009 (UTC)
- A copyedit of the entire article is needed.
- Personal life
- This needs to be expanded substantially.
- I hope I added enough.--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTM) 08:03, 22 January 2009 (UTC)
- Position coaches, Mid major Defensive coordinators and non-All Pro football players get little media attention. This article is a fairly complete synthesis of WP:RSs.
- Sources are fine and the personal life is acceptable now :)--TRUCO 21:26, 22 January 2009 (UTC)
- Overall review
GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria
- Is it reasonably well written?
- A. Prose quality:
- Per comments in the prose above.
- B. MoS compliance:
- Per MOS issues in the prose above.
- A. Prose quality:
- Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
- A. References to sources:
- B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary:
- C. No original research:
- A. References to sources:
- Is it broad in its coverage?
- A. Major aspects:
- The personal life is lacking and needs expansion.
- B. Focused:
- A. Major aspects:
- Is it neutral?
- Fair representation without bias:
- Fair representation without bias:
- Is it stable?
- No edit wars, etc:
- No edit wars, etc:
- Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
- A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:
- B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
- One of the person himself is not present, but it should not prevent the article from passing.
- A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:
- Overall:
- Pass or Fail:
- On hold until review is addressed, 7 days.--TRUCO 18:28, 20 January 2009 (UTC)
- Pass or Fail:
- Passing GAN - comments resolved to meet WP:WIAGA.--TRUCO 21:26, 22 January 2009 (UTC)