Talk:Stuyvesant Farm/GA1
Latest comment: 3 years ago by The Rambling Man in topic GA Review
GA Review
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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 14:41, 30 August 2021 (UTC)
Comments
- "Peter Stuyvesant's house on the Great Bowery." fragment so no full stop required.
- "of Peter Stuyvesant, as well" I think it's worth giving a bit of context as to who this individual was, at this point in the lead.
- Immediately afterward, the sentence says that Stuyvesant was preceded in the position as Director of New Netherland. So either it would be repetitive to say "Director of New Netherland" before Stuyvesant's name, or the sentence needs to be rewritten. This isn't my nomination though. Epicgenius (talk) 21:27, 30 August 2021 (UTC)
- Good point User:Epicgenius. I rewrote the sentence. Please let me know what you think. --Wil540 art (talk) 04:31, 31 August 2021 (UTC)
- I removed a stray semicolon, since these aren't two separate sentences. Otherwise, it looks good. – Epicgenius (talk) 14:57, 31 August 2021 (UTC)
- Good point User:Epicgenius. I rewrote the sentence. Please let me know what you think. --Wil540 art (talk) 04:31, 31 August 2021 (UTC)
- Immediately afterward, the sentence says that Stuyvesant was preceded in the position as Director of New Netherland. So either it would be repetitive to say "Director of New Netherland" before Stuyvesant's name, or the sentence needs to be rewritten. This isn't my nomination though. Epicgenius (talk) 21:27, 30 August 2021 (UTC)
- "namesake of numerous local sites and institutions.[1][2][3]" those references don't need to be in the lead if they are used in the main body of the article in the "Namesakes" section (for example).
- Done. --Wil540 art (talk) 04:55, 31 August 2021 (UTC)
- By "Dutch colonization", do you mean Dutch colonization of the Americas? Is that a suitable link?
- Done. — Rhododendrites talk \\ 23:10, 30 August 2021 (UTC)
- "Dutch colonization ... Dutch colonization..." in consecutive sentences, bit repetitive.
- Done. Seemed like the meaning could be retain by just removing the second instance. — Rhododendrites talk \\ 23:10, 30 August 2021 (UTC)
- "Manatus map of 1639 ..." font on this looks a bit odd, or am I imagining it?
- {{overlay}} seems to just have a parameter for title, and it's a bit bigger. We could try to resize it to be more like a regular image caption (does anyone know if <small> would suffice?)... — Rhododendrites talk \\ 23:18, 30 August 2021 (UTC)
- "came to control Bowery No. 1 when he became" came/became, maybe "took control of"?
- Done. --Wil540 art (talk) 04:33, 31 August 2021 (UTC)
- "Boweries 2- 6 " unspaced en-dash here.
- Done. --Wil540 art (talk) 04:33, 31 August 2021 (UTC)
- "director of New Netherland" vs "Director of New Netherland", consistency.
- Done. --Wil540 art (talk) 04:22, 31 August 2021 (UTC)
- "company Directors in " don't think this needs to be capitalised.
- Done. --Wil540 art (talk) 04:22, 31 August 2021 (UTC)
- "Terms were generous enough..." this sentence is unreferenced.
- Done. Added new citation here --Wil540 art (talk) 04:22, 31 August 2021 (UTC)
- Several entries in the Timeline are unreferenced, or if they are, they're not inline with some of the sentences.
- Fixed. --Wil540 art (talk) 04:45, 31 August 2021 (UTC)
- "1776 Ratzer Map" avoid starting sentences/fragments with a numeral, and is "Map" needed to be capitalised?
- I elaborated on the origin and details of the map. Not sure if it is too much info for caption. --Wil540 art (talk) 03:25, 1 September 2021 (UTC)
- And who/what is "Ratzer"?
- Bernard Ratzer - I added him to the image caption. --Wil540 art (talk) 03:25, 1 September 2021 (UTC)
- "1793, 1795-99 " en-dash and full year range required.
- Fixed. Epicgenius (talk) 21:27, 30 August 2021 (UTC)
- What are "NYCL" and "NRHP"?
- Fixed. Epicgenius (talk) 21:27, 30 August 2021 (UTC)
- Last three sentences of Residences section are unreferenced.
- Done.--Wil540 art (talk) 19:48, 31 August 2021 (UTC)
- "The creeks emptied..." unreferenced.
- Done.--Wil540 art (talk) 02:28, 1 September 2021 (UTC)
- "The tree stood .. where it stood" repetitive.
- Done.--Wil540 art (talk) 02:28, 1 September 2021 (UTC)
- "founding of Kiehl's at" explain what Kiehl's is.
- Sufficient to add its full name at the time (Kiehl's Pharmacy)? (Also, I added a ref in support there). — Rhododendrites talk \\ 20:18, 31 August 2021 (UTC)
- The full name at the time sounds appropriate to me. --Wil540 art (talk) 03:11, 1 September 2021 (UTC)
- Sufficient to add its full name at the time (Kiehl's Pharmacy)? (Also, I added a ref in support there). — Rhododendrites talk \\ 20:18, 31 August 2021 (UTC)
- "Manhattan Blue Book, 1868" what's that?
- Added context to this caption. For reference, it's talking about this. — Rhododendrites talk \\ 20:18, 31 August 2021 (UTC)
- ""Stuyvesant pear tree." fragment, no full stop.
- Fixed. Epicgenius (talk) 21:27, 30 August 2021 (UTC)
- "Modern namesakes" these should be inline referenced even if they are linked to Wikipedia articles.
- Done. --Wil540 art (talk) 02:36, 1 September 2021 (UTC)
That's all I have. The Rambling Man (Keep wearing the mask...) 19:58, 30 August 2021 (UTC)
- @The Rambling Man: Thanks for thorough review! The fine folks at WikimediaNYC and I have taken care of nearly everything above. The last unanswered issue is with the font size in the Overlay image which I do not know how to address. It does look slightly bigger to me as well. --Wil540 art (talk) 02:32, 2 September 2021 (UTC)
- Ideally it can be addressed, but no reason not to promote, which I will now do. The Rambling Man (Keep wearing the mask...) 19:36, 2 September 2021 (UTC)
- @The Rambling Man: Thanks for thorough review! The fine folks at WikimediaNYC and I have taken care of nearly everything above. The last unanswered issue is with the font size in the Overlay image which I do not know how to address. It does look slightly bigger to me as well. --Wil540 art (talk) 02:32, 2 September 2021 (UTC)