Talk:Sulphur Crisis of 1840/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Gog the Mild (talk · contribs) 03:34, 4 March 2020 (UTC)

I'll have a look at this one. Give me a couple of days.

I have done a little copy editing, which you will wish to check.

• "File:Soufre extraction 1.jpg" 1. Who is the author? How is it known that they have been dead for 70 years? 2. It needs a US PD tag.
  • Added the US tag. Looking into the 'dead for 70 years' question: the authors have around 90 images on commons from their book Leçons élémentaires de chimie (editions in 1906 and 1897). Their names are Berthe-Marie-Émilie Bussard and Hélène-Marie Dubois, but I can't seem to pin down exact dates of death. Eddie891 ^Talk _Work 21:21, 4 March 2020 (UTC)

Me neither, which is a little strange. Sorry Eddie, but if there is no evidence that the image is PD, you can't use it. Gog the Mild (talk) 21:37, 4 March 2020 (UTC)

It's ok. I'll look for a replacement...

• "British demand for sulphur from Sicily surged upward" 1. "surged upward" is not very encyclopedic; perhaps 'increased considerably'? Or, better still, do we have actual numbers for the increase? 2. Was it demand specifically for "sulphur from Sicily"? Or for any sulphur? If the latter, delete "from Sicily". (I have had a go at tweaking this, see what you think.)
  • I tried something else... What do you think?

I like your change.

You still use "surge upwards".

Got it

• "domestic acidic drain cleaners" Was this a common use in the 1840s? If not, best delete it.
  • agreed.
• "such as a 10% bounty of customs on British goods" What does this actually mean?
  • Šedivý (2011) writes of " a bounty of ten per cent on Neapolitan customs dues for all goods loaded both on and off British ships." Not sure how to best rephrase text in the article...

Hmm. How about something like 'such as a 10% reduction in the customs duty due on imports from and exports to Britain'?

I like that

• "granting French merchants essential control over the sulphur trade." Does the word "essential" add anything here?
  • not really. removed
• "An agreement was approved by the Consulta" What is "the Consulta"? Possibly bracket a translation/explanation immediately after?
  • Added

general needs disambiguating.

• "claimed that their commercial health was damaged" I am not sure about "commercial health". Perhaps 'commercial interests' or similar?
  • commercial interests works much better, thanks
• "Klemens von Metternich, the leader of Austria" He wasn't "the leader".
  • good catch, fixed.
• The style of hyphenation of ISBNs should be consistent.
  • fixed
• Page ranges should use en dashes, not hyphens.
  • Corrected
• "was submitted by Amato Taix and Arsene Aycard" Assuming that they are both French merchants, then 'was submitted by the French merchants Amato Taix and Arsene Aycard' may be helpful to a reader.
  • added

A great little article. Some nit picking above from me. Gog the Mild (talk) 14:52, 4 March 2020 (UTC)

Great stuff. Promoting. Feel free to have a look at Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Battle of Drepana/archive1 . Gog the Mild (talk) 23:09, 8 March 2020 (UTC)

Gog the Mild - Just drive-by I noticed from reading the article, but I noticed you stated you were going to promote the article (if I understand the above comment right), but the review is still marked on the GAN page as ongoing. Hog Farm (talk) 16:03, 11 March 2020 (UTC)

Hog Farm, how exceptionally sloppy of me. Thank you. Gog the Mild (talk) 16:12, 11 March 2020 (UTC)

Good Article review progress box

Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV () 3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant () Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed