Talk:Sunset Overdrive/GA1
Latest comment: 8 years ago by David Fuchs in topic GA Review
GA Review
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Reviewer: David Fuchs (talk · contribs) 15:53, 3 December 2015 (UTC)
In progresss... ping me if I haven't started anything here by the end of tomorrow. Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs(talk) 15:53, 3 December 2015 (UTC)
Sorry for the delay.
- Prose:
- Overall, article prose is decent. My major issue is that there's a lot of independent clauses that are spliced together by a succession of commas, and should either be simplified or broken up.
- Any particular examples? AdrianGamer (talk) 09:01, 11 December 2015 (UTC)
- I think the most egregious have been addressed in copyedits. There's also a minor issue with a lot of repetitious sentence construction which makes things feel a bit sloggy, like This mode supports up to eight players, and tasks players to complete a series of missions, as decided by the players themselves—there's another sentence almost right after it with the same use of commas for several pauses in the prose as opposed to purely for linking clauses. This isn't something that's a deal breaker for GA, just letting you know in case people try and take this to FA in the future.
Done I have rephrased it.
- I think the most egregious have been addressed in copyedits. There's also a minor issue with a lot of repetitious sentence construction which makes things feel a bit sloggy, like This mode supports up to eight players, and tasks players to complete a series of missions, as decided by the players themselves—there's another sentence almost right after it with the same use of commas for several pauses in the prose as opposed to purely for linking clauses. This isn't something that's a deal breaker for GA, just letting you know in case people try and take this to FA in the future.
- Any particular examples? AdrianGamer (talk) 09:01, 11 December 2015 (UTC)
- The game did not support free roam co-op when it was launched, but this feature can be added to the game through a post-release expansion. — uh, did this ever release? Needs to be updated, because right now it could read as "they might come up with a post-release expansion that enables it".
Removed I don't think free roam co-op would ever be added.
- In places there's an overuse of "can" when the statements don't call for them. For instance "the protagonist can respawn without a loading screen" makes no sense. You don't respawn with a loading screen, period. I've gone through and adjusted some of these, but you should look out for more.
- Done Feel free to tell me if you think it is still overused.
- In order to combine combat and traversal together, the team introduced the Style Meter. —What team? We don't mention the devs until the Development section (and shouldn't). Rephrase to deal with the game itself.
- Done
- Overall, article prose is decent. My major issue is that there's a lot of independent clauses that are spliced together by a succession of commas, and should either be simplified or broken up.
- Images:
- The fair use rationale for File:Sunset Overdrive Xbox One gameplay screenshot.png is pretty weak; there's not really any compelling reason why you couldn't combine the user interface of that image with a shot that shows the more vibrant palette like File:Sunset Overdrive colors.jpg and have one image serve the purpose of two (minimal use criterion.)
- I have removed the gameplay screenshot. I can't really find any decent screenshot with the user interface on it.
- I chose to keep the gameplay screenshot. It is more informative than the color screenshot.
- I have removed the gameplay screenshot. I can't really find any decent screenshot with the user interface on it.
- The fair use rationale for File:Sunset Overdrive Xbox One gameplay screenshot.png is pretty weak; there's not really any compelling reason why you couldn't combine the user interface of that image with a shot that shows the more vibrant palette like File:Sunset Overdrive colors.jpg and have one image serve the purpose of two (minimal use criterion.)
- References:
- What makes iDigitalTrend (cur. ref 9 and elsewhere) reliable?
- Removed source 9
- It's still being used for current ref 48. Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs(talk) 16:18, 16 December 2015 (UTC)
- Removed
- It's still being used for current ref 48. Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs(talk) 16:18, 16 December 2015 (UTC)
- Spot-checked statements sourced to current refs 1, 2, 19, 29, 69, 73, and 74. I didn't notice any issues with statements being unsourced, or too closely paraphrased to the sources.
- What makes iDigitalTrend (cur. ref 9 and elsewhere) reliable?
--Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs(talk) 19:15, 10 December 2015 (UTC)
- @David Fuchs: Thank you for the review! I have addressed some of your concerns, though I have some questions. Thank you once again. AdrianGamer (talk) 10:23, 16 December 2015 (UTC)
- Thanks for the changes. I'll take another look over the article and pass if no other issues jump out. Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs(talk) 19:12, 17 December 2015 (UTC)