Talk:Susan B. Anthony II/GA1
GA Review
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Reviewer: Larry Hockett (talk · contribs) 04:37, 24 February 2021 (UTC)
I'll be happy to take a look at this. I note that the article is stable and has a relevant image with a valid PD tag. I've checked for copyright with Earwig's tool (which returns only false alarms - such as a direct quote that appears in other sources) and by copying and pasting select passages into a Google search. I'll have feedback on the prose once I get to read through it. Thanks to the nominator for the work that has gone into this entry. Larry Hockett (Talk) 04:37, 24 February 2021 (UTC)
This was a nice read. I learned a lot. The article is neutral, and spot checks of the references indicate that the material is supported. I don't have a ton of feedback, and some of the feedback below may not impact GA status, so let me know if you don't think one of my suggestions would actually improve the entry.
- Thanks for taking on the review! I almost always learn more writing about a subject than I think I impart to readers. I truly appreciate your input. SusunW (talk) 14:13, 25 February 2021 (UTC)
Lead
edit- Wondering if there should be something in the lead about how she is related to Susan B. Anthony? I do see it in the infobox and the body, but for some readers I think it would be their biggest question.
- I try to avoid ever putting other notables in the lede of articles on women, merely because it is often the basis of claims of inherited notability. It seems to me that simply knowing that she is a Junior or II implies that she is related to Anthony. I'll add it if you think it necessary, but I am unsure that it is. SusunW (talk) 14:06, 25 February 2021 (UTC)
Early life
edit- Consider a comma after 1916 per MOS:DATECOMMA.
- I think we usually italicize Latin honors like magna cum laude.
Career
edit- "communist party member Mary Inman" - Shouldn't this be uppercase if we are referring to the political party rather than just the ideology? This comes up multiple times, so I may be missing something here.
Done Thanks for catching that. I linked the first instance too. SusunW (talk) 14:13, 25 February 2021 (UTC)
- Out of the Kitchen—Into the War - Comma after War?
- an article Working at the Navy Yard - Comma before and after the title, or maybe change it to the article? (restrictive vs. non-restrictive clause)
- "for Spanish loyalists, for housing desegregation, and women's rights" - Maybe a "for" before women's rights to keep up the parallel structure of the sentence.
- I found myself wondering why she was encouraged to leave the convent.
- I don't really know, I suspect the novice mistress felt she had the wrong temperament to be a nun, i.e. the WAPO article says "...she applied to become a nun, and when she was "bounced out" after a few months, it left her devastated. 'I was very tactless,' she said, accepting the failure as hers. A friend of hers said the novice mistress may not have understood that as an alcoholic Susan Anthony already had been dealt almost mortal blows and did not need her spirit broken further." Don't think we have enough there to definitively say and I was unable to find anything more specific. SusunW (talk) 14:37, 25 February 2021 (UTC)
- "two years later co-founded with Phyllis Michelfelder the Wayside House" - The word order just reads a little funny to me.
- I flipped the what and who. See if that reads smoother for you. SusunW (talk) 14:37, 25 February 2021 (UTC)
Death and legacy
edit- I think we are confusing loathe (a verb) and loath in the fourth sentence.
- Done Thank you for catching that. SusunW (talk) 14:43, 25 February 2021 (UTC)
Thanks for your work. I look forward to passing this nomination soon. Larry Hockett (Talk) 05:36, 24 February 2021 (UTC)
- Thanks for reviewing the file Larry Hockett I appreciate being able to collaborate with you to improve it. Let me know if I need to work on anything further. SusunW (talk) 14:43, 25 February 2021 (UTC)
- Thank you, SusunW, for promptly addressing my feedback. I appreciate your thoughts, especially on the question of including Susan B. Anthony in the lead. I hadn't really thought of it in terms of an inherited notability issue, but it makes sense. I do know that biographies of notable women have been taken to AFD on such a basis. Thanks for responding to the question about the convent; it sounds like there isn't much of an explanation in the reliable sources. Thank you for your work on the entry. I'm happy to pass this. Larry Hockett (Talk) 00:26, 26 February 2021 (UTC)
Good Article review progress box
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