Talk:Susan Tolsky/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: GhostRiver (talk · contribs) 19:17, 3 January 2022 (UTC)

Hello! I'll be taking a look at this article for the January 2022 GAN backlog drive. If you haven't already signed up, please feel free to join in! Although QPQ is not required, if you're feeling generous, I also have a list of GA nominations of my own right here.

Good Article review progress box

Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV () 3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant () Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

Infobox and lede

• Per MOS:SEAOFBLUE, "Houston, Texas" in the infobox should be one link to the city rather than separate links to the city and state
• Link voice acting in the third paragraph

 Done

Early life and education

• Same MOS:SEAOFBLUE issue as in the lede
• "Abe" or Abraham Tolsky?

The source just says Abe. Pancake (talk) 09:29, 5 January 2022 (UTC)

• I would slightly switch up the order of sentences in the first paragraph so that we get the acting and then the medicine (best done by moving the sentence about reading Gray's Anatomy to after "best influence")
• "Initially planning to acquire a degree in medicine and becoming a doctor" → "Despite her initial plans to acquire a degree in medicine and become a doctor,"

 Done

Acting career

1968-1970

• Commas instead of em dashes around "a contract actress at Screen Gems"
• Link first instance of "pilot" to Television pilot
• "east coast" should be capitalized per our article East Coast of the United States
• Link Seattle, Washington
• Per WP:QUOTEPOV, perfect should be delinked or a paraphrased synonym should be used
• Pipe "New England accent" to New England English
• "The series aired for two seasons from September 1968 to April 1970 on ABC." → "The series aired from September 1968 to April 1970, running for two seasons on ABC."
• "For the second season" → "In (or during) the second season,"

 Done

1971-1979

• Specify that Arnaz is Ball's real-life daughter
• Comma after "friend Sue Ann Ditbenner"
• "talk shows hosted by Merv Griffin and Virginia Graham"

 Done

1980-2006

• Combine the two sentences about Barney Miller so that there's a comma after 1982, followed by "for which the scripts were not finished at the time of filming."
• "shot in a span of fifteen weeks"
• Comma after ""most enjoyable" experiences"
• Pipe "voice roles" to voice acting and "animation" to animated series

 Done

Personal life

• Good

Filmography

• Good

References

• Generally good
• AllMovie isn't the best source for factual details (see WP:ALLMUSIC), but it's better than IMDb, and I'm going to AGF and assume that you checked in other myriad places to verify things first

General comments

• Images are properly licensed and relevant
• No stability concerns in the revision history
• Earwig score indicates no obvious copyright concerns

Putting on hold to allow the nominator to address comments. Please ping me with questions, and let me know when you're finished! — GhostRiver 20:17, 4 January 2022 (UTC)

@GhostRiver: Thanks for the review! I believe the issues have been addressed :) Pancake (talk) 09:29, 5 January 2022 (UTC)

Thank you very much for making those changes! Everything looks good now, happy to pass! — GhostRiver 16:30, 6 January 2022 (UTC)