Talk:Synthesis (Evanescence album)/GA2
Latest comment: 1 year ago by Lapadite in topic GA Review
GA Review
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Reviewer: Sturmvogel 66 (talk · contribs) 17:18, 24 January 2023 (UTC)
- performing with a full orchestra live for the first time in their career Unclear antecedent since Lee is only talking about her feelings in the first part of the sentence.
- Lee states in the cited source: "This will be our first time touring with an orchestra and I’m so excited to perform this way". Please clarify further if you're referring to something else. Lapadite (talk) 09:40, 26 January 2023 (UTC)
- The issue is that you reworked it so that she was excited and their career. The simplest solution is probably change "their" to "the band's". In addition, I'd suggest moving live in front of full.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 16:44, 26 January 2023 (UTC)
- Got it. I changed it to "touring with an orchestra for the first time" to be more accurate to the quote. Lapadite (talk) 07:45, 27 January 2023 (UTC)
- The issue is that you reworked it so that she was excited and their career. The simplest solution is probably change "their" to "the band's". In addition, I'd suggest moving live in front of full.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 16:44, 26 January 2023 (UTC)
- Lee states in the cited source: "This will be our first time touring with an orchestra and I’m so excited to perform this way". Please clarify further if you're referring to something else. Lapadite (talk) 09:40, 26 January 2023 (UTC)
- Lee said it added "a subtle level of authentic creepiness to the song", and mistakes like this are some of her favorite parts This is pretty much a straight quote so move the quote marks appropriately.
- The second phrase isn't verbatim; Lee's quote is "It added a subtle level of authentic creepiness to the song that we couldn’t have if we had been trying to. Some mistakes are my favourite parts." I somewhat closely paraphrased the second sentence to "and mistakes like this are some of her favorite parts", as I didn't find it necessary to put "favorite parts" in quotations because it's a common and uncontroversial phrase, the entire sentence is attributed to her speaking on her thoughts, and I think altering this phrase may misrepresent the meaning of her quote and may sound awkward; plus I didn't want to overuse quotations by quoting the entire statement. I thought of changing it to "favorite elements" but I think this would necessitate more info that she doesn't specify in the quote (e.g., favorite elements of what: The song? The music-making process? The whole project?). I added quote marks to "favorite parts" per your request. Let me know what you think. Lapadite (talk) 09:40, 26 January 2023 (UTC)
- OK, I see your point. Feel free to delete the quotes from favorite parts.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 16:44, 26 January 2023 (UTC)
- Done. Lapadite (talk) 07:45, 27 January 2023 (UTC)
- OK, I see your point. Feel free to delete the quotes from favorite parts.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 16:44, 26 January 2023 (UTC)
- The second phrase isn't verbatim; Lee's quote is "It added a subtle level of authentic creepiness to the song that we couldn’t have if we had been trying to. Some mistakes are my favourite parts." I somewhat closely paraphrased the second sentence to "and mistakes like this are some of her favorite parts", as I didn't find it necessary to put "favorite parts" in quotations because it's a common and uncontroversial phrase, the entire sentence is attributed to her speaking on her thoughts, and I think altering this phrase may misrepresent the meaning of her quote and may sound awkward; plus I didn't want to overuse quotations by quoting the entire statement. I thought of changing it to "favorite elements" but I think this would necessitate more info that she doesn't specify in the quote (e.g., favorite elements of what: The song? The music-making process? The whole project?). I added quote marks to "favorite parts" per your request. Let me know what you think. Lapadite (talk) 09:40, 26 January 2023 (UTC)
- band uploaded on YouTube video clips Delete "on"
- Done. Lapadite (talk) 09:44, 26 January 2023 (UTC)
- Image appropriately licensed
- Might be worthwhile to add a photo from either the recording sessions or the tour if they're available
- Done. Added a tour image. Lapadite (talk) 09:40, 26 January 2023 (UTC)
- Nicely done.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 17:18, 24 January 2023 (UTC)
- Thanks. Lapadite (talk) 09:40, 26 January 2023 (UTC)