Talk:Temporoparietal junction

GT - BMED 4752

Hi everyone, this is my Wikipedia for the wiki project for BMED 4752. Two other students from another college also happen to be working on this article. As such, for any peer reviews associated with this article for BMED 4752, please look at the right version that showcases my work. Thank you. Skarthikeyan3 (talk) 03:30, 24 November 2013 (UTC)

Students

Hi! We're a group of two students from Middlebury College working on a project for our Introduction to Neuroscience course until December.Luckykarmz (talk) 19:43, 11 October 2013 (UTC) Chiara Lawrence (talk) 19:44, 11 October 2013 (UTC)

Welcome! Lova Falk talk 13:37, 24 October 2013 (UTC)

Comment 1

Hey guys your page looks awesome with content material! I just went through the page, and I see a technical problem that I want to let you know of. Your subsection of Schizophrenia can be linked to the Schizophrenia page that exists on Wiki.. I also recommend that close attention to punctuation and grammar be paid. :) Neurobuddy1 (talk) 17:54, 22 November 2013 (UTC)Neurobuddy1Neurobuddy1 (talk) 17:54, 22 November 2013 (UTC).

Thank you for pointing this out! I have included the link to that page now. Skarthikeyan3 (talk) 01:59, 25 November 2013 (UTC)

Comment 2

I think you need citation for this part in second part specifically, it is composed of the inferior parietal lobule and the caudal parts of the superior temporal sulcus. Neurobuddy1 (talk) 18:21, 22 November 2013 (UTC)Neurobuddy1Neurobuddy1 (talk) 18:21, 22 November 2013 (UTC).

Thank you for point this out! I've now included a citation for that part. Skarthikeyan3 (talk) 02:03, 25 November 2013 (UTC)

Comment 3

Your page is very well organized and contains the correct amount of information. There are just a few edits I would recommend to you.

• When you are linking to another page, you only link the first time the term is mentioned and from there you do not link it.
• There is a typo in the section heading Involvement in Out-Of Body-Experiences, where there should be hyphens between Of and Body, not Body and Experiences.
• There is also a typo at the end of the last paragraph in the Involvement in Out-Of-Body Experiences section where you repeat the word epilepsy because you linked to it.

Overall, your page is really well put together and contains a lot of great information. Honestly, there are very few edits to be made, you should be really proud of how this page looks! Keep up the good work!

Reviewer: CWright93 (talk) 7:23 25 November 2013 —Preceding undated comment added 00:24, 26 November 2013 (UTC)

Thank you for your suggestions! I found them very helpful and made the edits.Luckykarmz (talk) 22:23, 5 December 2013 (UTC)

Comment 4

Overall, the article is good. Here are the few suggestions I have:

• Links/Overlinking.
  • Generally, a link should only appear once in an article. There are many terms (Superior temporal sulcus, schizophrenia, The Neuroscientist, Mentalese, fMRI, amnesia, Alzheimer’s disease, etc.) that are linked in multiple sections after the lead. Technical terms should be linked on their first occurrence.
  • However, if a link appears in the lead, it is often helpful if the link is repeated at the first occurrence after the lead. Temporal and parietal lobe is linked twice in the article, once in the lead and once in the anatomy & function section. Similarly, it would be helpful to also link Sylvian fissure twice, once in the lead and once in the anatomy & function section.
  • Red links. It would be helpful to create a few more red links in this article to help others expand Wikipedia.
• In the anatomy & function section it is clearly stated that the temporoparietal junction is mainly involved in information processing and perception. I think a simple sentence like that would be helpful in the lead before getting into too much detail.
• Is dopaminergic-seratonergic correctly spelled in the Involvement in Disorders section? I think it should be spelled dopaminergic-serotonergic but I may be mistaken.
• The Amnesia section a little hard to follow.
  • Amnesia is briefly defined, H.M. is discussed, and then it says, “As is apparent here, TPJ is involved in the memory processing system of the body.” The information given at the beginning of the amnesia and involvement in disorders section does not make it apparent that TPJ is involved in the memory processing system.
  • Also, the sentence, “Short-term memory remained normal except that he could never remember anything that happened after his surgery took place for very long” is poorly written and a little confusing. It may be helpful to include an explanation about how H.M.’s sort-term and long-term memory suggest that TPJ is involved in memory processing, if it does.

There is definitely a lot of good information here. This article has a strong lead and for the most part is easy to follow. There seem to only be minor edits needed at this point. Nice use of images. Keep up the good work.

Reviewer: Mdreher528 (talk) 04:08, 26 November 2013 (UTC)

Comment 5

Overall, your page has a lot of well-organized content and is easy to follow along. My only recommendations are the following:

• In the “Amnesia” paragraph, there is a word missing. The second sentence should include this word. “…or patient H.M Molaison [who] suffered from severe epilepsy…”
• In general, take a closer look at the “Amnesia” paragraph since it’s a little hard to follow. A second look may make it easier to see small grammatical errors and/or missing words. Some sentences here an then are also awkwardly phrased.
• Another suggestion is that you guys double check on the amount of links you use on your page and whether or not they are necessary where placed.

Besides these small suggestions, this page is very informative and very interesting. I enjoyed reading this.

Reviewer: Dvalleflores (talk) 1:12, 26 November 2013 (UTC)

Comment 6

Hello!

The best thing about this page is the detail you decide to put into everything. The bulk of the page is spent on explaining and describing the main parts of the junction. I also enjoyed the detail put into the left and right sides of the temporal junction. By explaining the two parts in depth separately, it allows for more the entire thing's function to come to light.

The layout of the page is done very well! The inclusion of the pictures you choose highlights what you have written in the sections. Speaking on sections, the heading topics work very well and they are placed on the page in a way that reads well.

Overall, I enjoyed reading this page and I found it to be helpful in learning about this part of the brain. Tsmithrandle (talk) 20:00, 26 November 2013 (UTC)

Thank you!Luckykarmz (talk) 22:26, 5 December 2013 (UTC)