Talk:The Album (Jonas Brothers album)/GA1

Latest comment: 4 months ago by Tbhotch in topic GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.


GA Review

edit
GA toolbox
Reviewing

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Nominator: Artmanha (talk · contribs) 05:55, 5 January 2024 (UTC)Reply

Reviewer: Tbhotch (talk · contribs) 19:29, 17 June 2024 (UTC)Reply


Upcoming review.


GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

  1. Is it reasonably well written?
    A. Prose quality (prose is clear and concise, without exceeding quotations, or spelling and grammar errors):
    Some grammar issues
    B. MoS compliance (including, but not limited to: lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and lists):
    Some MOS issues
  2. Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
    A. References to sources (including an appropriate reference section):
    Some primary sources
    B. Citation of available and reliable sources where necessary (including direct quotations):
    Some dead links
    C. No original research:
    Some content is not mentioned by the sources
    D. No copyright violations:
    Occasional lengthy quotes
  3. Is it broad in its coverage?
    A. Major aspects:
    Some sections are too short for a popular band, even when the sources included can help to its expansion
    B. Focused:
    Some sections are too short for a popular band
  4. Is it neutral?
    Fair representation without bias:
    The article focuses positively on the album even when negative feedback exists
  5. Is it stable?
    edit wars, multiple edits not related to the GAN process, etc. (this excludes blatant vandalism):
  6. Does it contain images (or other media) to illustrate (or support) the topic?
    A. Images (and other media) are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:
    B. Images (and other media) are provided where possible and are relevant, with suitable captions:
  7. Overall:
    Pass or Fail:

@Artmanha: sorry for the delay. I'll review this article as soon as I complete Blackpink's. (CC) Tbhotch 04:23, 26 June 2024 (UTC)Reply

Infobox
  • No Alt text found
Lead

checkY

Background
  • "that the details are "going to be announced in the next couple weeks"," → tense
  • "the album includes of elements of 1970s pop" → typo
  • "while they also revealed the titles" → "while also revealing the titles"
  • "brothers went on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, in which they" → where
  • "pushed back exactly by a week" → "exactly a week"
Writing and recording
  • "with the producer helping the band to achieve their vision" → "helping the band achieve"
  • "The first song they recorded was "Montana Sky",..." And that's it? The album has 14 songs. Is 'Montana Sky' the only song critics or the brothers have spoken about?
  • "the band opted for a funk-inspired pop album, with references from late 1970s pop grooves" → "the band opted for a funk-inspired pop album, with references from late 1970s pop grooves" → "the band opted for a funk-inspired pop album with references to the late 1970s pop grooves"
  • "The Doobie Brothers and The Bee Gees" → "the Doobie Brothers and the Bee Gees"
Release
  • A section named Release that doesn't mention the release itself, because it was mentioned in the background.
  • "Broadway residency at the Marquis Theatre, from March 14" → wrong comma
  • "The Album), while" → wrong comma
  • "as well as some hit songs of the brothers' side" → from
  • "To support the album, as well their previous four albums the band" → "To support the album, as well as their previous four albums, the band"
  • "and is set to conclude on June 20, 2024" → tense
  • "consisting on a total" → of a total
  • "directed by Anthony Mandler, released April 28, 2023" → released on

@Artmanha: I'm going to pause here and I'll continue later. I need clarification on why "Writing and recording" looks incomplete. (CC) Tbhotch 05:05, 28 June 2024 (UTC)Reply

Thanks for starting the review. As per your comments, I proceeded to include the alt text for album cover and fixed the grammar/spelling as pointed by you. As per why the writing and recording feels incomplete, it was honestly hard to find reliable sources regarding in-depth analysis of this album. However, I think I can include more content to this section and shall start my research today. –
Artmanha (talk) 18:55, 29 June 2024 (UTC)Reply
Regarding the Release section not mentioning the actual album release. What do you think if I were to relocate the sentences from the Background section "all three brothers went on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, where they announced that the album would be titled The Album and was set to be released on May 5. On February 22, the brothers announced that the album had been pushed back exactly a week to May 12 in order to release it alongside its vinyl version." and include on the Release section. Do you think it would make more sense? What do you suggest? Thanks again. — Artmanha (talk) 19:00, 29 June 2024 (UTC)Reply
I'd suggest "Background and release" and "Promotion". (CC) Tbhotch 03:23, 30 June 2024 (UTC)Reply
Done! I believe I've addressed and corrected every single one of your considerations thus far. I'll be waiting for further instructions on your review. Thanks again. — Artmanha (talk) 03:40, 30 June 2024 (UTC)Reply
Thank you. I copy-edited that section. I'll continue with the last part. (CC) Tbhotch 03:16, 2 July 2024 (UTC)Reply
Critical reception
  • There is a Metacritic score [1], you can add it so you can attribute the "generally positive" statement, along with Slant's review to the infobox.
  • There are no copyvio issues,[2] but I suggest you reducing or paraphrasing some quotes:
  • Johnston's quote is too large.
  • "timeless. Retropop called the album "timeless"" → You can paraphrase the first timeless so it doesn't sound redundant
  • "shows how Jonas Brothers' ambition is only getting bigger as its legacy expands" → For example "its production shows how the band's ambition grows with the expansion of its legacy."
  • "with Steven J. Horowitz writing that "alongside songwriter Jon Bellion, who worked with them at length on the project, the trio wrote a love letter to yacht rock (and their wives) that snapshots what it means to be doe-eyed in love"", for example: "with Steven J. Horowitz writing that Jonas Brothers and Bellion "wrote a love letter to yacht rock (and their wives) that snapshots what it means to be doe-eyed in love". The bolded verb needs to be replaced because the quote says wrote as well.
  • "feels right for JoBros" → suited to them
  • calling "a sparkling" → calling it "a sparkling"
  • "And while commenting on the album as body of work" → "And while commenting on the album as a body of work"
  • "citing "is the kind..." → "citing "the kind..."
  • Link the first usage of yacht rock
  • It would be good to include negative reception as well for balance; even the positive reviews include negative commentary
Commercial performance
  • You can expand this section with a few additional charts acknowledging that the album charted outside the US
  • "The Album debuted at number three on Billboard 200 chart" → on the Billboard 200 chart
Personnel
  • Please, include the source you adapted the credits from, album's liner notes or a website
References
  • Source 2 (E!) → Lamarre to Lamare
  • "Exactly two weeks later, Nick, Joe, and Kevin sat down for an interview with Variety". This sentence needs to be rewritten because the immediate source is Source 4 (Vanity Fair), and the phrase "the album includes elements of 1970s pop and Americana" is not present at that source but at Variety at the end of the paragraph, but during that interview, they didn't mention Carole King and this wording implies it. Also, I couldn't find that they mentioned America as an inspiration in either source.
  • Source 7 (Billboard) → "On January 29, Joe teased a snippet of "Wings" through an Instagram video" → the source says "social media" only
  • Source 9 (Twitter) → it is a primary source and People is a better substitute
  • Source 23 (Broadway Direct) says "as well as some hit songs from the brothers' side musical projects (Nick as a solo artist and Joe's other band, DNCE)." → The source says "beginning with their 2007 self-titled album JONAS BROTHERS, in addition to other chart-topping hits from their discography and the first single, “Wings” off their forthcoming project, The Album. The fifth and final show, the Jonas Brothers will treat fans to the first-ever live performance of The Album." I don't see where it says they would sing songs from their other projects.
  • Source 25 (Billboard) → Billboard goes in italics
  • Source 27 (Billboard) → Billboard goes in italics
  • "consisting of a total of 103 shows." is not mentioned by the source
  • Source 29 (Billboard) → "It was accompanied by a music video, released on the same day," the second statement is not present
  • Source 30 (Uproxx) → "directed by the Black Coffee Productions duo, Josh Rimmey & Zach Williams" is not present
  • Also, wrong italics at Black Coffee Productions
  • Sources 32 and 33 (Twitter) are primary sources.
  • "directed by Anthony Mandler, released on April 28, 2023" is not mentioned by the sources
  • Source 39 (Retropop) has an author
  • Source 46 (Billboard): "35,500 copies of The Album were sold, with physical sales comprising 29,000 (20,000 on CD, 9,000 on vinyl) and digital download sales comprising 6,500 copies." Close paraphrasing: "Of The Album’s 35,500 sold, physical sales comprise 29,000 (20,000 on CD, 9,000 on vinyl) and digital download sales comprise 6,500."
  • Source 48 (Target) doesn't mention the website and the date of access. It also says "This item is not available" and the track listing is not available.
  • Source 49 (Tower Records Japan). Indicate it is not in English: |language=ja
  • Source 65 ("The Album - Digital Album".) is now a dead link
  • Source 66 (Jonas Brothers (UK)) is a dead link
Images

@Artmanha: That's the full review. If you have questions, comments or concerns, ping me back. Review on hold. (CC) Tbhotch 07:00, 2 July 2024 (UTC)Reply

@Tbhotch: I believe I've addressed every single one of your comments. Please let me know if you want me to change or add anything else. As for the dead links, they were properly archived with the links to the archive pages available. Is that sufficient? As for the Target link, I couldn't find any substitute for it, other than the Discogs link with the code for it (B0037748-02). How should we proceed regarding this? Again, thank you so much for reviewing this page — Artmanha (talk) 03:29, 4 July 2024 (UTC)Reply
I found the archived copy. (CC) Tbhotch 19:15, 4 July 2024 (UTC)Reply
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.