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(b) reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose);[2] and
Almost done. A few key plot elements missing (see below) and not enough information on the relationship between Soong and Data's later creation (perhaps in production or somewhere else); more can be said in reception per discussion below. Other than that, putting on hold. Viriditas (talk) 00:39, 5 July 2015 (UTC)Reply
The episode is the last of a three episode arc, preceded by "Borderland", and "Cold Station 12".
Try to avoid repeating the same words in the same sentence. Instead of repeating "episode" twice, rewrite it. You could try, for example, "It is the last of a three-episode arc..." Viriditas (talk) 22:44, 2 July 2015 (UTC)Reply
Opening of the plot assumes the reader is familiar with the cliffhanger in the previous episode. It would be a good idea to briefly recap the last scene of the previous episode in one sentence so that the opening of the plot makes sense to someone who hasn't seen it. Viriditas (talk) 05:11, 30 June 2015 (UTC)Reply
@Miyagawa: as you can tell, I made a few copyedits here and there, but I find that the plot is still missing key information. For example, right before it ends with "Soong returns to the Starfleet Detention Center", it fails to note the key point that the Klingons have called off any retaliation (which we learn from Archer's log). This brings us, of course, to another missing point, which is the pursuit of the Enterprise by multiple Klingon vessels. See if you can review the plot section yet again, trim the fat here and there and add the necessary plot elements. Feel free to delete if you must. Viriditas (talk) 09:31, 4 July 2015 (UTC)Reply
The return of genetically enhanced humans as previously seen in the Star Trek: The Original Series episode "Space Seed" and Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan was intended to tie Enterprise closer together to The Original Series.
I realize you've got this line in every episode of the arc, but I'm curious if you have access to any other sources (or even the current ones) that talk about this a bit more. My pet theory is that the reason some critics disliked Malik here and saw him as a "cardboard villain" was because the writing and direction tried too hard to match the TOS production values. I suspect that the stereotype of the Augment was imported from the TOS approach quite intentionally, but this kind of homage had the potential to alienate viewers and critics, which judging by the response is exactly what happened. However, when you take this into account, along with the production elements deliberately alluding to TOS production values (lighting of Malik's room, his reaction to Persis, etc.) the disconnect occurs when it conflicts with the newer production values we've become so accustomed to already and fails to pass the Star Trek crossover boundary. I wonder if the sources say anything else about this. In other words, Malik was true to the production values of TOS, but this didn't quite work when our expectations of the Enterprise production value offset it. Viriditas (talk) 09:11, 2 July 2015 (UTC)Reply
The problem is that Enterprise sources are few and far between. I’ve got access to some books which discuss the themes in the various Star Trek series, and even there the entire Enterprise series is mostly overlooked. I would say that the only chance of such issues being raised in a source would be if someone started to do a series of retro reviews on the show (much like has happened for other series within the franchise at Tor.com etc). Miyagawa (talk) 10:17, 2 July 2015 (UTC)Reply
There's a bit of backstory in an article by Scott Pierce that could be used here, particularly the fact that 1) Dr. Arik Soong is the ancestor of the man who built Data (important considering the end of the plot) 2) making it clear that the Augments were responsible for the Eugenics Wars, 3) that Soong raised them until he was captured by Starfleet and imprisoned. Viriditas (talk) 23:40, 4 July 2015 (UTC)Reply
Andy Wilson has an excellent review of the episode posted on Big Shiny Robot that I think should be added. I know you've talked about the paucity of sources, so you should use whatever you can get (provided its reliable, and I think BSR is). Wilson makes the great observation that "The real story in this arc is not the journey of the Enterprise or the Augments, but a personal journey of Arik Soong. He goes from believing that humanity needed to be improved by use of radical genetic engineering to seeing that humanity is not prepared for that sort of unbridled power. And we see him then, at the end of the arc, turn away from genes as a method to create a perfect man, but to "perhaps cybernetics," saying it might take a generation or two..."[2] I think some of this really needs to be mentioned since it is a key touchstone of the episode. Viriditas (talk) 23:50, 4 July 2015 (UTC)Reply
I don't have direct access to the source, and the Google Books version doesn't have any individual page details so there isn't complete enough information to use it. Miyagawa (talk) 13:03, 5 July 2015 (UTC)Reply
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