Talk:The Boat Race 1849 (December)/GA1
Latest comment: 10 years ago by Dom497 in topic GA Review
GA Review
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Reviewer: Dom497 (talk · contribs) 18:44, 29 August 2014 (UTC)
Reviewing now!--Dom497 (talk) 18:44, 29 August 2014 (UTC)
Comments
edit- Given that there were two races in 1849, "Held annually, the event...", doesn't really match up. Maybe something like, "Typically help once a year, the event...". Just my opinion.
- Updated. The Rambling Man (talk) 19:40, 29 August 2014 (UTC)
- "The 10th Boat Race took place on the River Thames on 15 December 1849. Held annually, the event is a side-by-side rowing race between crews from the Universities of Oxford and Cambridge along the River Thames" - No need to say that it was held on the River Thames twice.
- Removed repetition. The Rambling Man (talk) 19:40, 29 August 2014 (UTC)
- "...Oxford who triumphed over Cambridge who were disqualified." - Saying "who" twice ruins the flow of the sentance, IMO.
- Tried a rephrase. The Rambling Man (talk) 19:40, 29 August 2014 (UTC)
- Just to add some detail into the article I guess you can throw in the following sentence from the other Boat Race article that I reviewed earlier this month (1982), "The rivalry is a major point of honour between the two universities and followed throughout the United Kingdom and broadcast worldwide."
- Thing is, in 1849, it wasn't broadcast around the world... The Rambling Man (talk) 19:40, 29 August 2014 (UTC)
- Haha, whoops! :)--Dom497 (talk) 20:50, 29 August 2014 (UTC)
- Thing is, in 1849, it wasn't broadcast around the world... The Rambling Man (talk) 19:40, 29 August 2014 (UTC)
- I'm tempted to add a "0" in front of the ".125 pounds..." to make it more clear when a reader is looking at the article, but I'll leave that on your discretion.
--Dom497 (talk) 19:09, 29 August 2014 (UTC)
- Thanks, I've addressed the concerns above and left responses in-line. The Rambling Man (talk) 19:40, 29 August 2014 (UTC)
Round 2
edit- "Oxford won the toss and elected to start from the Middlesex station" - change to this: "Oxford won the toss and elected to start from the Middlesex station, rather than the [insert name of other station here] station".
- Added "leaving Cambridge with Surrey" to avoid repetition. The Rambling Man (talk) 07:30, 31 August 2014 (UTC)
- "...the high winds were deemed to provide Cambridge with a slight advantage..." - Why? Weight? If so, add a quick mention of that.
- Added quote. The Rambling Man (talk) 07:30, 31 August 2014 (UTC)
- "Both crews were on the river..." - "On" or "in"?
- I remember seeing in another article an image of the layout of the course. I think it would help to put it in this article as well because I don't even have any idea of where "Searles boathouse" is.
- "...in preparation for shooting Hammersmith Bridge." - "shooting" in this context isn't really a NPOV.
- Actually, "shooting" the bridge is commonly used in plenty of sources. The Rambling Man (talk) 07:30, 31 August 2014 (UTC)
--Dom497 (talk) 00:31, 31 August 2014 (UTC)
- Thanks, I've addressed this round of comments. The Rambling Man (talk) 07:30, 31 August 2014 (UTC)
- All seems good. Pass!--Dom497 (talk) 20:44, 1 September 2014 (UTC)