Talk:The Crusade (Doctor Who)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Amitchell125 (talk · contribs) 21:15, 12 January 2022 (UTC)

Happy to review the article.

Review

1 Plot

• Link emissary (presumably Ambassador); harem; Jaffa

2.1 Conception and writing

• Further depictions of the sexual relationship – why further?
• by its removal - 'by their removal'?
• in October 1191; - comma, not a semi-colon
• The sentence beginning The Crusade was the last... is overlong and needs to be split.
• declaring it – needs some copy editing to make the sentence grammatically correct.
• Bitsch had lived in Arabia in the 1950s – is unneeded (it's excessive detail)
• The serial used extensive sound effects - 'The serial used sound effects extensively'?
• been aware of him at school – 'known him at school'?

2.2 Casting and characters

• The second paragraph is largely off-topic for this article and should be removed. Similar DW articles at GA level don't include such material.
• Link Aztec
• Duplicate text that should be deleted - Julian Glover was cast in the role of King Richard the Lionheart
• There is a non-consistent use of names (first names are only given in the first mention of a person, afterwards it's usually surnames only)
• I’m unclear why the caption sentences are in this section are required, as they merely repeat the text in the article and do not help explain the images of Glover or Marsh in any way.

2.3 Filming

• Several of the insects died under the heat of the studio lights. - this is trivial and needs to be taken out of the paragraph.
• tock footage?
• Convert nine feet (9 feet (2.7 m)

3 Reception

• fell sharply – surely 'fell' is enough here
• million viewers, respectively – no semi-colon

3.1 Broadcast and ratings

• The last sentence lacks a citation

3.2 Critical response

• Link misogyny
• After the airing of the second episode – is rather vague imo. Consider ‘Following the broadcasting of the second episode in April 1965,
• though enjoyed - 'though he wrote that he enjoyed'?

4.2 Home media

• a VHS – 'when it was released on VHS'?
• released in 2004; - should be the end of a sentence
• was unlikely - 'was unlikely to be produced'?
• to the significant resources – as the resources don’t really signify anything, this should read 'to the resources'

8 External links

• The novelisation can be accessed here (I don't know if the link is worth including or not)

On hold

I'm putting this generally sound article on hold for a week until 22 January to allow time for the issues raised to be addressed. Regards, Amitchell125 (talk) 17:02, 14 January 2022 (UTC)

@Amitchell125: Thanks for the review! I've gone through and addressed all of your concerns. Let me know if there's anything else. – Rhain ☔ 21:35, 14 January 2022 (UTC)

Passing

Thanks for your work on the article, passing now. A painless process! Amitchell125 (talk) 07:50, 15 January 2022 (UTC)