Talk:The Emperor's New School/GA1
Latest comment: 5 years ago by Aoba47 in topic GA Review
GA Review
editGA toolbox |
---|
Reviewing |
Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch
Reviewer: Changedforbetter (talk · contribs) 22:35, 1 March 2019 (UTC)
Totally in love with the work done on this article; I'll be happy to review :-)--Changedforbetter (talk) 22:35, 1 March 2019 (UTC)
- Thank you! I always enjoy working with you :-). Aoba47 (talk) 22:42, 1 March 2019 (UTC)
Lead
edit- "It is a sequel to the 2000 movie The Emperor's New Groove ..." this is a bit of a nitpick and probably my personal opinion, but the term "sequel" almost always implies a film adaptation. You might want to consider replacing it with the term "spin-off" (as you've done later in the article) right of the bat.
- Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 02:54, 2 March 2019 (UTC)
- "With the help of her henchman Kronk ... " you can condense by saying "Assisted by her henchman...".
- Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 02:54, 2 March 2019 (UTC)
- "Yzma, disguised as the school's principal, unsuccessfully attempts to cause Kuzco to fail his classes." For those unfamiliar with the film/series or Yzma and Kuzco's relationship, you might want to mention why it is so important to Yzma that Kuzco to fail. Remove "unsuccessful" and do something along the lines of "Yzma, Kuzko's former advisor, disguises herself as... and attempts ... classes to prevent him from becoming emperor" or "so that she can be emperor (or empress) herself".
- Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 02:54, 2 March 2019 (UTC)
- "Kuzco is assisted" you can use "aided by..." here
- Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 02:54, 2 March 2019 (UTC)
- "Some of the original actors ... returned for the series" I think here it's safe to say that "Most of the original cast", and replace actors with "cast" or "voice cast".
- Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 02:54, 2 March 2019 (UTC)
Premise and characters
edit- "Yzma being flattened by something when he pulls the lever to the secret lab." Try "flattened by a large object"; a little more encyclopedic.
- Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 02:56, 2 March 2019 (UTC)
- "the series relies on physical comedy and meta-humor" I know what you're trying to say here, but it almost sounds like more of a critique than a summary or observation of the premise. Try "the series employs a combination physical comedy and meta-humor"
- Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 02:56, 2 March 2019 (UTC)
Prouction
edit- "1997 film Cats Don't Dance" I think here it might be insightful to mention that Cats Don't Dance is also an animated film: "on the 1997 animated film Cats Don't Dance."
- Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 03:01, 2 March 2019 (UTC)
- "He worked with the company on various spin-offs" try "He had previously worked with the company on various spin-offs" to clarify that this was prior to New School (I believe).
- Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 03:01, 2 March 2019 (UTC)
- "John Goodman, would eventually return to portray Pacha in the television show." Maybe it's worth mentioning around what stage of the series Goodman returned? (The infoxbox seems to imply the second season, if you can source this).
- Unfortunately, I could not find a source that explicitly said when Goodman returned. The sources just say that Goodman was part of the show. I will try to search for a more specific source in the future to address this. Aoba47 (talk) 03:01, 2 March 2019 (UTC)
- Sure, this would be good enough for now
- "Guest stars include Miley Cyrus as a waitress" I think you can mention the waitress by name here: "Guest stars include Miley Cyrus as Yatta, a waitress..."
- Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 03:01, 2 March 2019 (UTC)
- "An episode took roughly nine months to complete, and between 16 to 17 were developed at a time." I believe you're trying to say how long each episode took to produce? Right now it sounds like you're only referring to one of the series' episodes in particular; try "Each episode" or "Episodes took approximately nine months to complete, producing between 16 to 17 at a time."
- Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 03:01, 2 March 2019 (UTC)
Broadcast history and release
edit- This section looks good to me. "Broadcast history" sections are usually among the most difficult to write, and you've done well.
- Thank you! I agree that they can be quite annoying to write. Aoba47 (talk) 03:01, 2 March 2019 (UTC)
Critical reception
edit- Similar to the above; no major improvements to be made. My only recommendation is "Parkins lost to Seth Green's work in the Robot Chicken episode "Robot Chicken: Star Wars"" might not be entirely necessary to include, unless there was significant media discussion around Parkins and Green being nominated in the same category, or discussion about Parkins losing to Green (such as Michelle Pfeiffer losing to Jessica Tandy in my Susie Diamond) article. I'll leave this up to you.
- Removed. Aoba47 (talk) 03:02, 2 March 2019 (UTC)
Final comments
editAoba47 Stellar work here, as usual. Informative, concise and easy to read. I've placed the article on hold, for now; once the above comments are addressed, I'll be more than likely to pass this nomination with flying colors.--Changedforbetter (talk) 23:47, 1 March 2019 (UTC)
- Thank you as always! I believe that I have addressed everything. I will look into a source for John Goodman, although I am not certain if I can find one. Hope you have a wonderful weekend! Aoba47 (talk) 03:03, 2 March 2019 (UTC)
- Looks good to me! Pass :-) looking forward to your future endeavors.--Changedforbetter (talk) 03:49, 2 March 2019 (UTC)
- Thank you and same to you! Aoba47 (talk) 03:56, 2 March 2019 (UTC)
- Looks good to me! Pass :-) looking forward to your future endeavors.--Changedforbetter (talk) 03:49, 2 March 2019 (UTC)