Talk:The Ex-Girlfriend/GA1

GA Review

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Hi Music2611! I will start my review here and finish it as soon as I can. Feel free to cross over stuff once you've fixed it. Regards, Theleftorium 15:20, 17 August 2009 (UTC)

Lead Y

• The first two sentences should be combined into one, and "episode" and "season" should not be linked as they are common terms.
• It aired on January 23, 1991. - Where? What network?
• Link Jerry Seinfeld the first time his name appears.
• Jerry starts dating the Marlene
• after realizing that he finds
• Should "psycho-sexual" be linked to Psychosexual development?
• The episode was inspired by an experience of David - Change to "The episode was inspired by one of David's personal experiences".
• as oppose to - Shouldn't this be "as opposed to"?
• "The Ex-Girlfriend" featured one new set, a chiropractor's office. The rest of the sets that appeared in the episode had been used on the show earlier.
• The episode was first broadcasted in the United States on January 23, 1991 on NBC - This should located at the beginning of the first paragraph.

• Thank you so far. I've fixed all of your comments, except for the "psycho-sexual" link, I think Psychosexual development is something else. The "as oppose to" is, I believe, a matter of tense, and I'll let you decide which one it should be.--Music26/11 17:29, 17 August 2009 (UTC)

Plot Y

• Can you link all the characters again (it's the first time they appear outside of the lead)?
• "Okay" sounds unencyclopedic. Use "alright" or something else.
• Shouldn't "(Tracy Kolis)" be in the lead?
  • You seem to have missed this question. Theleftorium 20:27, 20 August 2009 (UTC)

• No I didn't. I just did not link her name because I avoid using redlinks in the lead.--Music26/11 21:19, 20 August 2009 (UTC)

• Other than that, the plot section is pretty good.

Cultural References Y

• Title should be "Cultural references"
• The rest looks good.

Production Y

• Link Jerry Seinfeld.
• This was changed because the scene had nothing to do with a library. This sounds weird. It obviously had something to do with a library as that scene took place in a library before it was changed. Maybe something like this, "The producers, however, did not like the library setting, and decided that the scene should took place in ___ instead."
  • This has not been fixed. Theleftorium 20:43, 20 August 2009 (UTC)

• I have already fixed this. Maybe you overread it.--Music26/11 21:20, 20 August 2009 (UTC)

• Yeah, didn't see the "dialogue" part.

• The first table reading of the episode took place on October 17, 1990. And link table read.
• The chiropractor's office was the only new set that appeared in the episode. What happens in the "chiropractor scene"?
  • Neither has this. Only a small sentence or two would be needed to explain the scene, as it does not appear in the plot section. Theleftorium 20:43, 20 August 2009 (UTC)

• Sorry, I did overlook this one. Fixed.--Music26/11 21:20, 20 August 2009 (UTC)

• I cleaned up the section a bit myself and split up the long paragraph.

Reception Y

• "The Ex-Girlfriend" was first broadcasted on NBC on January 23, 1991
• on January 23, 1991, it was intended to air... - Replace with "after being postponed one week due to the commencement of the First Gulf War.
• an audience share of 17, this means meaning that
• Though, by todays standards, Seinfeld would be considered a hit show - "Although Seinfeld would be considered a hit show by todays standards, NBC was disappointed with its ratings..."
• Critcs Critics reacter reacted
• Wilmington Morning Star called - Comma after "Star"
• Seinfeld will be here for a good long run this time around. - So did this episode air after the hiatus?
• stated that she disliked
• episode Jon Burlingame - Comma after "episode". Also, what does this comment have to do with this episode?

• This is the only critical statement in the review.--Music26/11 15:12, 19 August 2009 (UTC)

• In his review of the episode Chicago Tribune - Comma after "episode", and add a colon after "stated".

Other

• Can you add dates to the DVD references?
• Hiatus is a disambiguation page.

• I believe I have fixed all of your concerns. A few questions: A) Do you think this has FA potential? B) Do you think the absence of an infobox image hurts the article? C) Do you think the production section should be broken down to sub-sections? Also, thank you very much for the review, and you are invited to join the Seinfeld (season 2) FLC and the "North by North Quahog" FAC, don't feel obligated of course. Thanks.--Music26/11 15:12, 19 August 2009 (UTC)

• A) Yes, but it might require expansion and copyediting. B) No, I don't think there's any non-free image that would significantly increase the readers' understanding of the topic (I understood everything, and I haven't seen this episode). C) No, I don't think that's necessary. Anyway, the article looks good now, so I'm going to pass it. Congratulations! Theleftorium 22:29, 21 August 2009 (UTC)