Talk:The Headphone Masterpiece/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Вик Ретлхед (talk · contribs) 13:25, 5 September 2013 (UTC)

Notes

• in his bedroom, which he used as a makeshift studio called the Sonic Promiseland, in Valley Village, California→in his bedroom in Valley Village, California, which he used as a makeshift studio called the Sonic Promiseland

• Grammatically speaking, he didn't use Valley Village, California as a makeshift studio. Dan56 (talk) 20:37, 5 September 2013 (UTC)

• with $10,000 worth of equipment→with equipment worth $10,000

• Done. Dan56 (talk) 20:37, 5 September 2013 (UTC)

• in order to not wake up his roommate→in order not to wake up his roommate

• Done. Dan56 (talk) 20:37, 5 September 2013 (UTC)

• at number 128 on sales of 8,000 copies→at number 128 with sales of 8,000 copies

• Done. Dan56 (talk) 20:37, 5 September 2013 (UTC)

• The sentence mentioned above doesn't read quite well. I suggest to split it like this: Consequently, The Headphone Masterpiece entered the Billboard 200 at number 128 with sales of 8,000 copies. As of March 30, 2003, it had sold 25,000 copies in the United States, according to Nielsen SoundScan.

• Split; "as of" usually isn't used to indicate something in the past tense ("had"). Dan56 (talk) 20:37, 5 September 2013 (UTC)

Comment: This article is a solid piece of work. All aspects are properly covered, the prose is clear and concise, and the minor issues were successfully fulfilled. I will close this nomination as passed.--Вик Ретлхед (talk) 21:32, 5 September 2013 (UTC)