Talk:The King of Fighters '94/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Figureskatingfan (talk · contribs) 15:53, 4 March 2013 (UTC)Reply

Hello, I'm reviewing this article. It's my practice to review articles using a template, and then make subsequent comments and suggestions. I also tend to copyedit the articles I review for GAN, if necessary. Please keep in mind that I'm not a gamer, although I've reviewed a few game articles. Christine (Figureskatingfan) (talk) 15:53, 4 March 2013 (UTC)Reply

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

After a cursory read, I see problems with the prose and sources, which I'll explain below.

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
There are problems with syntax and grammar here. I'll go through it more thoroughly later; see below. The prose needs to be tightened. There seems to be no problems with MOS; it follows the format for similar articles.
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
A cursory look at the refs check out. The sources seem to be predominately from gaming and industry websites, but I've learned this is customary with these kinds of articles, in order to ensure comprehensiveness. I'm AGF that the sources are reliable in the gaming world.
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
AGF again regarding comprehensiveness.
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
One major contributor in the past year.
It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Currently, you have just two images: the cover artwork and a screenshot; both seem to have appropriate FURs. This is fine for a GA, but I wonder if you could add a couple more, perhaps of some characters or of the cover of the remake, if they're available. This is just a suggestion, which you can choose to follow or not.
Overall:
Pass/Fail:
On hold until I complete the review; again, see below.

Christine (Figureskatingfan) (talk) 16:38, 4 March 2013 (UTC)Reply

Like a pic with all of the character? --Niemti (talk) 17:17, 4 March 2013 (UTC)Reply

Or how about a screenshot from the remake, for a comparison? Because the cover is not really informative. (And this is what I did.) --Niemti (talk) 17:19, 4 March 2013 (UTC)Reply

I like the screenshot much better; nice addition. How about a screenshot of one of the characters discussed in the "Discussion" section?

I'm going to add info about the related media and merchandise: [1] --Niemti (talk) 18:40, 4 March 2013 (UTC)Reply

There are now 2 screenshots with 3 characters already. There's no "Discussion section"? --Niemti (talk) 10:45, 5 March 2013 (UTC)Reply

Duh, sorry; I meant "Development".

Prose review

Lead

In 2004, to commemorate the tenth anniversary of the series, SNK released a remake titled The King of Fighters '94 Re-bout, which featured the original game and a new version with high definition graphics. Too much going on here; I suggest cutting it into two sentences, like this: "In 2004, to commemorate the tenth anniversary of the series, SNK released a remake titled The King of Fighters '94 Re-bout. The remake featured the original game and a new version with high definition graphics."
KOF '94 is a crossover featuring characters from SNK's previous fighting game properties Fatal Fury and Art of Fighting, as well as revised versions of characters from their pre-Neo Geo games Ikari Warriors and Psycho Soldier, and original characters created specifically for the game. This sentence is even more complex. How 'bout: "KOF '94 is a crossover featuring characters from SNK's previous fighting games Fatal Fury and Art of Fighting. It also includes revised versions of characters from their pre-Neo Geo games Ikari Warriors and Psycho Soldier, and original characters created specifically for the game."

Gameplay

The player can also perform their character's Super move when their life gauge is 75% empty and flashing red like in Fatal Fury 2. Is "Super move" the name of the action? If so, should "move" be capitalized? Does Fatal Fury 2 also have the Super move feature? If so, perhaps this is more clear: "Like in Fatal Fury 2, the player can perform their character's Super move when the character's life gauge is 75% empty and flashing red." You should also clarify what a Super move is. Also notice that I changed "their" to "the character's" to avoid the pronoun error (see below), and because I assumed that you're talking about the character's life gauge and not the player's.
When one character is defeated, the following member of the same team will take his place, while the character on the other team will have a small portion of their life restored (if energy was lost during the previous round). You use the pronoun "his" about the first character mentioned, and then use "their" life about the second. I know that it's become colloquial to use the third possessive pronoun when the gender of the person is unclear, but it's still inaccurate. You either need to use the more clunky "his or her" (which I recommend), the politically correct "his", or change the sentence into a plural form, which sacrifices smoothness. I also suggest re-structuring this sentence, since as you often do, it's long and hard to follow. How about: "When one character is defeated, the following member of the same team will take his or her place. The character on the opposing team, if energy was lost during the previous round, will have a small portion of his or her life restored." I also suggest that if you follow my suggestion, that you make the same change to the following sentence.

The whole system is nicely explained at http://www.arcade-gear.com/Games/King_of_Fighters_94/King_of_Fighters_94.htm (and Wikipedia is actually missing any info about dodge attacks, combo throws, taunts and guard cancels). I also didn't write it. --Niemti (talk) 10:45, 5 March 2013 (UTC)Reply

You keep saying, "I didn't write it". Forgive the bluntness, but I don't care. You nominated it, so you're responsible to deal with any issues that come up here. I appreciate that you've taken my suggestions, though.

Plot

Having become bored with the lack of competition, Rugal decides to host a new King of Fighters tournament and has his secretary travel to eight destinations around the world and invite fighters to his new tournament. It's usually not a good idea to begin a sentence with a prepositional phrase. I also suggest that you separate the sentence. How 'bout: "Rugal has become bored with the lack of competition, so he decides to host a new King of Fighters tournament. He has his secretary travel to eight destinations around the world to invite fighters to compete in his new tournament."
The phrase participating this time is unnecessary, so I suggest that you strike it.
You used "featur*" and the phrase "along with" too much in this section; I recommend coming up with synonyms for variety sake.

I didn't even write it, (probably Tintor2 did, gameplay too). --Niemti (talk) 10:45, 5 March 2013 (UTC)Reply

Watch unnecessary words, much of which I've removed in my copy-edit.

Sources

The buttons (Light Punch, Light Kick, Strong Punch and Strong Kick) aren't specified in ref1. You either need to find a source that supports what you say these buttons do, or put the info about the buttons outside the ref. Perhaps I'm wrong, but describing what buttons do in a game is, I would suspect, like describing the plot in a movie or book, so it wouldn't constitute OR.

I need to stop here for now. I'll won't be able to continue until probably tomorrow, but this should give you enough to think about until then. Christine (Figureskatingfan) (talk) 23:42, 4 March 2013 (UTC)Reply

Sorry, I thought I could continue tonight, but I'm too wiped out after a long day. I'm fairly certain that I can get to this tomorrow. If not, definitely by Friday, which I have off. Christine (Figureskatingfan) (talk) 05:38, 6 March 2013 (UTC)Reply

The buttons are explained in-game. See [2] at around around 0:50 (the "how to play" demonstration). --Niemti (talk) 22:52, 6 March 2013 (UTC)Reply

Ok, that's fine. I suggest that you state this in the article, perhaps in a note.

Development

Characters from Ikari Warriors and Psycho Soldier games were also added in spirit of other gaming genres considered for their final product. Please explain what you mean by "in spirit of other gaming genres". Do you mean that these characters were added to honor the gaming genres?
The concept of a three-man team was one of the ideas kept from the side-scrolling version. I don't have access to the source, so I don't know what you mean here. When you say that something is "kept from" something else, it implies that the first something doesn't allow second something to get it. I suspect that you mean that the side-scrolling version retained the three-man team concept in KOF '94. If so, how about saying it this way: "The concept of a three-man team originated from the side-scrolling version." (This also removes some of the unnecessary words that keeping popping up in this article.)
The title "The King of Fighters" was the subtitle from the first Fatal Fury game, Fatal Fury: King of Fighters; the members from SNK liked it, so they wanted to give it its own game. I know the source says that SNK liked the subtitle, but I think that it's obvious. If they didn't like it, they wouldn't have used it again, right? You could just say: "The title "The King of Fighters" was taken from the subtitle from the first Fatal Fury game, Fatal Fury: King of Fighters."
He added that every original character for the series was added based on the developers' strong desire to make one. Again, the wording makes this unclear. Are you saying that the new characters were added at the discretion of the developers?
For example, he agreed to include characters such as Benimaru Nikaido and Chang Koehan to add an off-beat variety to the cast, which he previously deemed to be too serious before. "Previously" and "before" are redundant. Perhaps you can say: "For example, he agreed to include characters such as Benimaru Nikaido and Chang Koehan to add an off-beat and and lighter variety to the cast."
For the first location test only ten people showed up, but they later received a large number of players attracted with the game. This is awkward wording. The source states that ten people appeared at the first location test, but larger numbers came to later tests. How about: "Ten people arrived at the first location test, but larger numbers came to subsequent tests."
The SNK staff also had troubles with making advertisements for the game due to its low rent. As such, some of them were noted to have poor quality. Unclear. What do you mean about "low rent"--the setting for the location test? And what does "some of them" refer to--the game or the ads?
He was named Kyo Kusanagi in order to relate him with the Yamata no Orochi legend, which was used as the idea to the following games. Unclear. The source (ref7) doesn't specifically support this sentence. It states that the legend is the setting, and that it began with this game. You could say: "He was named Kyo Kusanagi and was inspired by the Yamata no Orochi legend."
Last paragraph in section: refs11&12 don't support the assertion that the developers disagreed.

Remake

Please re-check the refs in this section; the few I looked at don't support the claims made or are broken.

Reception

I wonder if you need to list out the characters' ranking in the Top 50 List; I think it's enough to state that they appeared on the list. I'd remove it, since it's boring, but I recognize that it may be significant to you gramers, so it's totally up to you.
Complex ranked it as the eight best fighting game of all time in 2011, as well as the 11th best SNK fighting game in 2012..." The second part of this phrase is unclear. Did Complex rank the game as the 11th best fighting game in SNK's history or its best in 2012? Please clarify.

Whew, finished. I know that I've been picky, but I think it's worth it. The "Development" section is especially problematic; I recommend a complete re-working of it. Some of its issues are easily addressed, but the sourcing is a big problem, and I'd like you to address them before I pass this article. Good luck. Christine (Figureskatingfan) (talk) 23:21, 6 March 2013 (UTC)Reply

I don't really mean anything with it, because I didn't write it. :) But anyway: "The concept of a three-man team was one of the ideas kept from the side-scrolling version." - in the early beat'em ups (such as the metnioned Final Fight) there were usually 3 player characters. I think it was all written by a Japanese person. --Niemti (talk) 23:41, 6 March 2013 (UTC)Reply

All should be fine now. --Niemti (talk) 00:55, 7 March 2013 (UTC)Reply

I could tell that a non-native English speaker wrote some of this. I recommend that the next time you nominate an article for GA, that you at least copy-edit it before it's reviewed. It will save us all time in the long run. I'm happy with the changes you made (which were a lot!), so I'm happy to pass this to GA. Congratulations. Christine (Figureskatingfan) (talk) 05:38, 7 March 2013 (UTC)Reply

The thing is: I actually already did :) In the original it was going like "In an interview with veteran developers of the series, they claim that their prototype version for KOF was going to be a side-scrolling beat 'em up titled, Survivor." Also I forget to add GameRankings. --Niemti (talk) 09:06, 7 March 2013 (UTC)Reply

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