Talk:The Last Great American Dynasty/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: GhostRiver (talk · contribs) 03:24, 17 August 2021 (UTC)

I am on vacation for the next few days, but I adore this song and will get to reviewing the article as soon as possible! — GhostRiver 03:24, 17 August 2021 (UTC)

@GhostRiver: That's completely fine, take all the time you need! I adore this song as well. Thank you for starting the review! D🐶ggy54321 ^{(let's chat!)} 03:56, 17 August 2021 (UTC)

Good Article review progress box

Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV () 3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant () Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

Infobox and lede

• All information in the infobox needs to be linked to a cited statement in the body. In this case, the recording dates as well as the studios are nowhere in the body. I assume this information was derived from the booklet, so you have your source ready to go, you just need to work it in somewhere.
• Dessner should be mentioned as one of the songwriters, since he has credit
• "It was written by Swift, inspired by..." → "Written by Swift and Aaron Dessner, the song was inspired by..."
• "Aaron Dessner composed..." → "Dessner also composed..."
• "late 20th century" → "mid-20th century"
• WL meme in the lede
• "received acclaim from music critics" → "also received critical acclaim"
• "and the United States – one of the five..." → "and in the United States, where it was one of the five..."

Background and composition

• "Aiming for an uptempo and enticing sound, American musician Aaron Dessner composed the instrumentals of "The Last Great American Dynasty", inspired by the electric guitars in Radiohead's album, In Rainbows (2007)." → "Aiming for an uptempo and enticing sound, and inspired by the electric guitars in Radiohead's 2007 album In Rainbows, American musician and record producer Aaron Dessner composed the instrumentals of "The Last Great American Dynasty".
• "whom Swift wanted to write about ever since she purchased Harkness' Holiday House in 2013."
• "started reading a lot about Harkness' life and found her stories interesting." → "started reading about Harkness' life, and was interested by the stories."
• "Swift stated that she was looking for a chance to write about Harkness"
• Two quoting comments in the second paragraph:
  • First, add the Entertainment Weekly citation at the end of the sentence going "gets to gossip about", as references should always directly follow a sentence with a direct quote.
  • Second, at the end of the paragraph, go ""for the last verse"." → ""for the last verse."" because you're quoting a complete sentence.
• Same thing re: quote placement for full sentences at the end of the third paragraph.

Lyrics

• Remove duplicate links to socialite, Rebekah Harkness, and Holiday House (Watch Hill)
• "Bill died of a heart attack in 1954"
• A little bit of a WP:REFBOMB at the end of the first paragraph. Is there a good way to spread the references throughout that para?
• Same thing in the second paragraph
• This might be a little complicated, but when you have that long sentence about the inaccuracies, maybe restructure the sentence/paragraph so that it starts by saying that several of the lyrics represente inaccurate stories told by the gossips, then you list the filling the pool with champagne & stealing the dog/cat.
• As for where to include Dali, maybe towards the "big names" part near the beginning of the para?

Critical reception

• "Critics" → "Music critics" with the WL
• General comment that topic sentences for all the paragraphs here, summarizing what was praised, might be in order. See Painting of a Panic Attack for an example.

Listicles Accolades

• Rename section as "Accolades", as many of the publications are respected music publications like Pitchfork, as opposed to something like BuzzFeed
• ""All Too Well" (2012), impressed by how..." → ""All too Well" (2012). She was impressed at how..."
  •  Partly done The rewording is complete, but "All Too Well" is how the song title is spelt across Wikipedia, so I didn't change that. D🐶ggy54321 ^{(let's chat!)} 14:57, 21 August 2021 (UTC)
• Close paraphrasing on the NME accolade – could probably just put the direct quote in there
• "fifteenth" → "15th" per MOS:NUMBERS
• "with Caitlin White dubbing it"
• "thirty-second best" → "32nd best" per MOS:NUMBERS
• Move the sentences in this section around so that the two NME rankings are next to each other
• Put "glitchy" in quotes
  •  Not done now that the full quote is there. D🐶ggy54321 ^{(let's chat!)} 14:57, 21 August 2021 (UTC)
• "telling a vivid tale of Harkness' life while mocking the sexist criticism both women have received by utilizing witty couplets and "megawatt" hooks" → "utilizing "witty" couplets and "megawatt" hooks to both create a vivid picture of Harkness' life and to draw parallels between the misogynistic criticism received by both Harkness and Swift." (reduces close paraphrasing)
  •  Not done now that the full quote is there. D🐶ggy54321 ^{(let's chat!)} 14:57, 21 August 2021 (UTC)
•  Done most, except where I raised issues. D🐶ggy54321 ^{(let's chat!)} 14:57, 21 August 2021 (UTC)

Commercial performance

• General comment that all of the chart positions here have to be cited, even if they're cited further below.
  •  Done D🐶ggy54321 ^{(let's chat!)} 03:24, 27 August 2021 (UTC)

In popular culture

• Expand on lead sentence – fan-favorite in Swift's discography, or on Folklore, or something else to give it context.
  •  Not done - the source provided just says "fan-favorite", without specifying if it was a fan-favorite on the album or a fan-favorite in general. D🐶ggy54321 ^{(let's chat!)} 03:32, 27 August 2021 (UTC)
• "being applied to"
• double "the" going into The Twilight Saga
• Should have caught this in the References section -- change PEOPLE.com in [6] to just People
  •  Done, except where I left comments. D🐶ggy54321 ^{(let's chat!)} 03:32, 27 August 2021 (UTC)

Cover versions

• Remove parentheses around "of English progressive rock band Porcupine Tree"
• Mention the name of Cabanas' album
  •  Done D🐶ggy54321 ^{(let's chat!)} 03:32, 27 August 2021 (UTC)

Credits and personnel

• Include relevant wikilinks to Vocals, Songwriting, Record producer, Programming (music), Keyboard instrument, Percussion instrument, Piano, Synthesizer, Bass guitar, Electric guitar, Violin, Drum kit, and Audio engineer
  •  Done D🐶ggy54321 ^{(let's chat!)} 15:02, 21 August 2021 (UTC)
• Usually musicians and production-only people are split into two columns, as seen in something like Uncomfortable (song), but that distinction is less important when there are only a few musicians
  • Per WP:PERSONNEL, there only needs to be a split when the number of contributors listed is 20+. Due to the fact that there are only eight contributors listed, this does not need to be implemented. D🐶ggy54321 ^{(let's chat!)} 15:02, 21 August 2021 (UTC)

Charts

• Good
• Any year-end chart appearances? Just curious

References

• Uproxx is in all caps in reference [30] but title case in [22]. The relevant Wiki page suggests it should be in title case.
• The long "work" in [41] should be shortened to just NME, in line with the other NME refs
• "www.youtube.com" in [44] should be changed to just "YouTube"
• References from the following sources need "|url-access=limited" added to the citation:
  • Vulture
  • The Atlantic
  • Los Angeles Times
  • The New York Times
• References from the following sources need "|url-access=subscription" added to the citation:
  • Rolling Stone
•  Done D🐶ggy54321 ^{(let's chat!)} 01:58, 18 August 2021 (UTC)

General comments

• Lots of people editing recently, but no real edit wars or other stability disputes
• Two photos, both of which are relevant to the article. One is Creative Commons and the other is public domain.
• Earwig score comes up a little high, but that's almost entirely from direct quotes. If any of the longer quotes (particularly the blockquotes at the top of a few sections) can be pared down, that would be A+++.

Just got back from vacation, showered, did laundry, feel much cleaner and ready to focus. Thank you for getting started on making those changes, and I'll formally put on hold until everything else is addressed. Let me know if you have any questions! — GhostRiver 16:23, 21 August 2021 (UTC)

@GhostRiver: Awesome! Thank you so much, will do! D🐶ggy54321 ^{(let's chat!)} 17:30, 21 August 2021 (UTC)

• @GhostRiver: I am taking an indefinite WikiBreak. I thought I should let you know, as I will not be able to complete this GAN. I don't know when my break will end, so I think the best thing to do is to fail this nomination now, and, when (if?) I come back, and if you're still up to it, we can continue from here. I could just make all the changes you suggested, re-nominate, and go from there. I am so sorry, but I just made this decision very recently, and it is for the best. Thanks! D🐶ggy54321 ^{(let's chat!)} 12:20, 28 August 2021 (UTC)
  • @Doggy54321: Understandable, your health comes first! I will mark this down as a fail for now, and then we can reassess at a later date. — GhostRiver 15:21, 28 August 2021 (UTC)
    • @GhostRiver: Awesome! It seems as though I am back now, but I would still like some time before jumping back into the GA review. Thank you for being so understanding! D🐶ggy54321 ^{(let's chat!)} 12:43, 29 August 2021 (UTC)

@GhostRiver: If @Doggy54321: allows me, can I re-submit this article for GA and continue the process? ℛonherry☘ 09:35, 18 September 2022 (UTC)

@Ronherry: Sorry, just getting to this now. I'd love to do a co-nomination again like we did with "Cardigan" and "Willow", if that's okay with you. GhostRiver, would we need to re-submit this formally or can we pick up where we left off? Apologies for just abandoning this last summer by the way. Thanks! D🐶ggy54321 ^{(let's chat!)} 00:56, 26 September 2022 (UTC)

@Doggy54321: Yes! Would love to. Thanks ℛonherry☘ 02:02, 26 September 2022 (UTC)