Talk:The Onyx Hotel Tour/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: ipodnano05 * ^{leave@message} 06:43, 10 January 2010 (UTC)

Quick fail criteria

• Y on links validity check per [1]
• Y on disambiguation and other dubious wikilinks per [2]

-- ipodnano05 * ^{leave@message} 21:05, 11 January 2010 (UTC)

GA review

GA review (see here for criteria)

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a (prose): b (MoS):

   Comments coming in soon. -- ipodnano05 * ^{leave@message} 21:17, 11 January 2010 (UTC)

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):

   Reference # 27 does not seem reliable. What makes www.orlandofloridaguide.com reliable? -- ipodnano05 * ^{leave@message} 21:21, 11 January 2010 (UTC)

   I tried looking for a more reliable source, because it is an official press release from Spears, but i couldn't find any other. I don't think the information should be deleted. --Xwomanizer (talk) 03:36 15 January 2010 (UTC)

   If it's a press release than it is acceptable for GA. -- ipodnano05 * ^{leave@message} 02:52, 16 January 2010 (UTC)

3. It is broad in its coverage.

   a (major aspects): b (focused):

4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   Fair representation without bias:

5. It is stable.

   No edit wars, etc.:

6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.

   a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

   Image on the "Development", "Critical response", and "Cancellation and lawsuit" sections need alt text while the image on the "Broadcast and recordings" section should be entirely removed as it fails WP:NFCC #1 and #8. The image that has Britney kissing another woman, please specify which one she is with brackets since they are both blond it's kind of hard to tell. -- ipodnano05 * ^{leave@message} 21:05, 11 January 2010 (UTC)

   She is actually kissing a man; i added that in the description on the article too and added all the alt text, so  Done. --Xwomanizer (talk) 03:36 15 January 2010 (UTC)

7. Overall:

   Pass/Fail:

Prose comments

Lead  Done

• Add release of In the Zone with brackets.
  • Do you mean the release date of the album? I don't think it should be mentioned. Xwomanizerx (talk) 18:23, 16 January 2010 (UTC)
    • Yes, add it with parenthesis. -- ipodnano05 * ^{leave@message} 06:51, 17 January 2010 (UTC)
• Make sentences of Clear Channel Entertainment and MTV into one
• "The tour was divided into many segments" --> "The tour was divided into seven segments: Check-in, etc."
  • Has not been answered. -- ipodnano05 * ^{leave@message} 06:51, 17 January 2010 (UTC)
• Why are the concert segments put in italics?
  • I based that on other tour pages in which the segments are put in italics. Xwomanizerx (talk) 18:23, 16 January 2010 (UTC)
    • Fair enough. -- ipodnano05 * ^{leave@message} 06:51, 17 January 2010 (UTC)
• The sentence about mixed review goes nowhere and seems a little pointless. Add an overall summary, attach to another sentence, or remove it.

Background  Done

• Add venues and states of cities for each concert date.
  • I removed the New York part since that date was scrapped. Xwomanizerx (talk) 18:29, 16 January 2010 (UTC)
• "Spears said in a statement," --> "Spears released a statement saying,"
• Refrain from using "the tour" so much.

Development  Done

• Add name of her previous tour.
• Remove one period after The O.C.
• "VP of music marketing" --> "Vice president of music marketing"

Concert synopsis  Done

• "A video interlude followed featuring Spears and her friends leaving a club, but she noticed a woman dressed in 1930's fashion." This sentence makes no sense.

Reception  Done

• Stay consistent, pick "Person of Magazine" or "Magazine's Person".
• There is a lot of "Person of Magazine said". Make some like "Person of Magazine believed that Spears...".

Moline injury  Done

• Link the city, add state, and venues of concerts.

Cancellation and lawsuit  Done

• Again add state.

Broadcast and recordings  Done

• Unite into one paragraph

Once all of the issues above are addressed then the article will be promoted. -- ipodnano05 * ^{leave@message} 17:07, 16 January 2010 (UTC)

Beside the two concerns in the lead section, i corrected everything else. Xwomanizerx (talk) 18:42, 16 January 2010 (UTC)

Now it's finished. Xwomanizerx (talk) 14:31, 17 January 2010 (UTC)

Great, the article is definitely GA now!! Congrats!! -- ipodnano05 * ^{leave@message} 02:27, 19 January 2010 (UTC)

Thank you! Xwomanizerx (talk) 03:37, 19 January 2010 (UTC)