Talk:The Pest House/GA1
Latest comment: 12 years ago by Gen. Quon in topic GA Review
GA Review
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Reviewer: Gen. Quon (talk · contribs) 17:44, 28 July 2012 (UTC)
- No issues with pics or sourcing
- Intro: I feel the second paragraph could use a bit more. It's bare bones right now.
- Plot: "sceptical" should be "skeptical"
- Plot: "finds a woman's" Is this one of the victims' hands, or an unrelated hand?
- Plot: "Between this..." I would add "incident" after 'this', just because I feel it reads better. It might be superfluous, though
- Plot: "Black attempts to warn Stoller, but she has driven away from the hospital." Maybe "Black attempts to warn Stoller, but she drives away from the hospital." I feel the first one's tense is just a little odd
- This is the only one I haven't addressed; the suggested change loses the implication that he arrives after she has already left, but I'm open to changing it to something which retains this though. GRAPPLE X 22:46, 30 July 2012 (UTC)
- Plot: "...alerts Stoller than someone..." Should be 'that'
- Plot: What is "tannoy" equipment? Maybe a link or explanation.
- Reception: I would add a citation after every direct quote.
- Reception: "Shearman praised guest star Massee's performance, and felt that the script was "great fun", working as a more serious version of the 1996 film Scream." -> "Shearman praised guest star Massee's performance, and felt that the script was "great fun", noting that it worked as a more serious version of the 1996 film Scream."
- References: On Ref 1, I guess it shoudl be 1997-98, per some number convetion thingie; same with 2 (During the GAN Drive, I think Hahc21 pointed this out to me)
- Just a suggestion, but maybe some external links? Not a biggie, just an idea.
That's really all I can find. Good work! On hold for seven days.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 22:10, 30 July 2012 (UTC)
- Have addressed the majority of these. Thanks for the review! GRAPPLE X 22:46, 30 July 2012 (UTC)
- Looks good now. I added "already" to the one line I had an issue with (I wasn't reading it properly) and I think it looks better, so I will pass this. Congrats!--Gen. Quon (Talk) 03:03, 31 July 2012 (UTC)