Talk:The Unquiet Dead/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Gen. Quon (talk · contribs) 18:35, 19 August 2013 (UTC)

• Image: I would beef up the Fair-Use Rationale on the image page, and then add a little blurb about it under the picture on the actual article's page
• Intro: Should "Mr Sneed" have a period after 'Mr'? I'm not sure if it is special since the pages uses British grammar.
  • This instance was correct... most of the others were wrong. In British English, abbreviations do not take a period if the last letter of the abbreviation is the same as the last letter of the word abbreviated. --Redrose64 (talk) 22:41, 19 August 2013 (UTC)
    • Yes it is correct in British English, though it is something I miss a lot.
• Intro: "Callow, who had researched Dickens as well as portraying him on multiple occasions, accepted to guest star in "The Unquiet Dead" because he felt Dickens was written accurately." I don't know if there is a better way to rephrase this, but you use "Dickens" twice in one sentence.
  • Changed the second one to "the historical figure". Glimmer721 ^talk 01:12, 20 August 2013 (UTC)
• Intro: "As contemporary Cardiff, location of the Doctor Who production, did not have enough Victorian architecture, the episode was filmed in Swansea, and computer generated imagery (CGI) was used as the main visual effect for the Gelth." I feel it might be better to divide up this sentence into two, since the first part talks about location, whereas the second part is about the visual effect, and that doesn't have much to do with location.
  • Done. Glimmer721 ^talk 01:12, 20 August 2013 (UTC)
• Plot: "…who were once corporeal beings until being affected by the Time War." -> How about, "who were once corporeal beings until they were devastated by the Time War."
  • Done. Glimmer721 ^talk 01:12, 20 August 2013 (UTC)
• Plot: "The Doctor determines that Gwyneth is already dead, opening the rift killed her instantly." -> "The Doctor determines that Gwyneth is already dead, and that opening the rift had killed her instantly."
  • Done. Glimmer721 ^talk 01:12, 20 August 2013 (UTC)
• Casting: "Simon Callow, who portrayed Dickens, was considered apt for the role having extensive knowledge of the author as well as experience playing the character and recreating his public readings." -> "Simon Callow, who portrayed Dickens, was considered apt since he possessed extensive knowledge of the author and had experience playing the character and recreating his public readings."
  • Done. Glimmer721 ^talk 01:12, 20 August 2013 (UTC)
• Casting: "In the 2011 episode "The Wedding of River Song", Callow returns to reprise his role as Charles Dickens briefly." Should that be 'returns' or 'returned'? I mean, I know TV shows kind of exist as is, but since we're talking about the actor, should his return be in the past tense?
  • Decided to go with "returned". That sentence may have been written around when "Wedding" aired. (I also unlinked Charles Dickens for the same reason...it's been linked in the article already.) Glimmer721 ^talk 01:12, 20 August 2013 (UTC)
• Casting: "However, her agent notified Myles of the role of Gwyneth…" I think you can kill "of Gwyneth" since it's already understood what we're talking about.
  • Done. Glimmer721 ^talk 01:12, 20 August 2013 (UTC)
• Just a general note, I think every set of quotes should be followed by a citation. I see one in the casting section about Eccleston being Myles "favorite actors of all time", so that needs to be fixed. You might double-check for some others (I see some more at the end of "reception")
• Filming…: "…and decided to not have any missing facial features." Is this referring to the corpses not looking like stereotypical zombies? That's how I read it, so if that's what it means, never mind this comment…
  • In the context of the sentence it actually means that missing facial features could have been too "scary" or such...they did not want anything too gruesome because of the younger audience members. Should I rephrase it? Glimmer721 ^talk 01:12, 20 August 2013 (UTC)
• Filming…: You might just explain real quick who The Mill is.
  • Done. Glimmer721 ^talk 01:12, 20 August 2013 (UTC)
• Reception: "…posted a damning review…" is 'damning' a good NPOV word here? Maybe scathing? Or highly critical. I know how tough it can be not to repeat the same phrase over and over and over again in the reception section.
  • That word is not actually mine so I approve of changing it. I chose "scathing". Glimmer721 ^talk 01:12, 20 August 2013 (UTC)
• Reception: The grade A- should be A– with an en-dash
  • No; since it's pronounced "A minus", an en-dash is inappropriate. It should either be the − entity, as in A− or, per WP:MINUS, the keyboard hyphen-minus. --Redrose64 (talk) 22:41, 19 August 2013 (UTC)
    • I guess I failed to realize there was a difference between A– and A−. All I meant was for it to be a slightly longer dash. ;) Thanks for the heads up.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 03:56, 20 August 2013 (UTC)
• Reception: Man… Robert Smith? has the weirdest name…
  • Yep, but still not a problem. Just bizarre. I dunno if there should be a [sic] there. (For the record, according to the TARDIS Wiki, he has apparently written several spin-off Who fiction as well as a couple of reference books, and the ? is apparently part of his legal name.) Glimmer721 ^talk 01:12, 20 August 2013 (UTC)
    • A [sic] might be nice.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 03:56, 20 August 2013 (UTC)
      • Done. Glimmer721 ^talk 01:28, 22 August 2013 (UTC)
• References: This is more of a suggestion, I usually capitalize every letter in the names for articles (again, if you don't want to, no sweat)
  • Do you mean something like "Who Had Dickens Of A Time" or "WHO HAD DICKENS OF A TIME"? --Redrose64 (talk) 22:41, 19 August 2013 (UTC)
    • I think the former and I usually capitalize them based on what the title of the website is. So for example, in this "triumph" and "over" are not capitalized on the webpage. Glimmer721 ^talk 01:12, 20 August 2013 (UTC)
      • The former is what I meant. My bad. And the way you have it is fine.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 03:56, 20 August 2013 (UTC)
        • There is a guideline - which I can't find right now - that the titles of ref sources should be in title case; which in this specific example would give "Who Had Dickens of a Time". --Redrose64 (talk) 11:41, 20 August 2013 (UTC)
• References: Also, another suggestion… maybe make this a 2-column section so it isn't so "long"

That's it. Good work. I will put this on hold.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 18:35, 19 August 2013 (UTC)

Thanks for the review! I'm going to chip away at it over this week. Glimmer721 ^talk 01:12, 20 August 2013 (UTC)

Okay, I think all I have to do now is go through the quotes and the image. I'll try to do that in the next couple of days. Glimmer721 ^talk 01:12, 20 August 2013 (UTC)

No sweat. I'll keep it on my watchlist. Just update here when you're done. It looks good so far.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 03:56, 20 August 2013 (UTC)

Have done the image; it's an old one and not specifically added to correspond with the article, but I think I made it work for now. I also believe I've cited all direct quotes. Glimmer721 ^talk 01:28, 22 August 2013 (UTC)

Looks good. Pass.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 04:23, 22 August 2013 (UTC)