Talk:The Writing's on the Wall/GA1

Latest comment: 1 year ago by Kyle Peake in topic GA Review

GA Review

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The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.


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Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 06:53, 20 April 2023 (UTC)Reply

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a. (prose, spelling, and grammar):  
    b. (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):  
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a. (reference section):  
    b. (citations to reliable sources):  
    c. (OR):  
    d. (copyvio and plagiarism):  
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a. (major aspects):  
    b. (focused):  
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:  
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:  
  6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
    a. (images are tagged and non-free content have non-free use rationales):  
    b. (appropriate use with suitable captions):  
  7. Overall:
    Pass/fail:  

(Criteria marked   are unassessed)

This is going to take at least two days, nevertheless I'll start now! --K. Peake 06:53, 20 April 2023 (UTC)Reply

Infobox and lead

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  • Replace hlist with bullet points per Template:Infobox album
  • A space is needed before (Berkeley)
  • Pipe Kevin "She'kspere" Briggs to Kevin Briggs (music producer)
  • Pipe Beyoncé Knowles to Beyoncé
  • Pipe Chris Stokes to Chris Stokes (filmmaker)
  • You need to write out the July 14 release date in prose for it to be mentioned in the lead
  • Remove "for The Writing's on the Wall" because this is implied
  • Pipe Kevin "She'kspere" Briggs to Kevin Briggs (music producer)
  • "Rodney Jerkins and LaShawn Daniels," → "Rodney Jerkins, and LaShawn Daniels,"
  • "with each of its tracks representing a" → "with each track representing a" to be less repetitive
  • "infidelity and separation," → "infidelity, and separation,"
  • Remove "the album" at the end of this sentence since throughout implies this
  • "hip hop and soul record" → "hip hop, and soul record"
  • The Staccato vocals are not sourced as being layered anywhere in the body
  • Add a comma after Billboard 200
  • "and success of its singles, the album's sales" → "and success of the singles, its sales"
  • "Consequently, it peaked at number five" → "Consequently, The Writing's on the Wall peaked at number five" and mentioned the country the certification was in
  • "with its accompanying music video" → "with the accompanying music video" with the wikilink
  • "became the group's first" → "became Destiny Child's first"
  • Pipe Mainstream Top 40 to Pop Airplay
  • "The accompanying music video for" → "The music video for"
  • "from the group mere" → "from Destiny's Child a mere"
  • "noting its immense influence" → "noting the immense influence" and remove its before release too

Background and development

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  • The Teresa LaBarbera Whites and manager parts are not sourced
  • "became the group's manager." → "became their manager."
  • The release month of "No, No, No" is unsourced
  • Mention the country that the certification was in and add a comma after RIAA
  • The "With Me" part is unsourced
  • "label their debut album" → "label the album"
  • "not hugely successful" as" → "not hugely successful", as"
  • "and disliked about the debut" → "and disliked about Destiny's Child"

Recording and production

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  • Pipe Beyoncé Knowles to Beyoncé on the quote box
  • Remove wikilink on Beyonc in prose
  • "later claimed the group wasn't" → "later recalled that Destiny's Child was not" per WP:CLAIM
  • "the album saw" → "Destiny's Child saw"
  • "LeToya Luckett nine and" → "LeToya Luckett nine, and"
  • "relationships and financial hardships." → "relationships, and financial hardships."
  • "suggested the group to" → "suggested Destiny's Child to"
  • Pipe Kevin "She'kspere" Briggs to Kevin Briggs (music producer)
  • "where majority of" → "where the majority of"
  • The four additional songs produced are not mentioned by the source
  • "at the time of the album's production," → "at the time of production," to be less wordy
  • "alongside the group's manager" → "alongside Destiny Child manager"
  • "defined the album's sound." → "defined the sound of The Writing's on the Wall."
  • "LaShawn Daniels and the group members." → "LaShawn Daniels, and the group members."
  • Remove "of the song" after new mix because this is implied by the last sentence
  • "included on the album." → "included on The Writing's on the Wall."
  • "which were recorded" if they were recorded at these two studios then add "both", if separate studios then "respectively"
  • "at the Electric Lady Studios in" → "at Electric Lady Studios in" per the article

Music and lyrics

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  • The tempo part is not sourced for the img text
  • "hip hop and soul record." → "hip hop, and soul record."
  • "Its instrumentations notably incorporate sounds" → "Its instrumentation notably incorporates sounds" since the source does not mention separate songs
  • I don't think as well as is needed before guitar riffs when that is continuing this list; a comma should serve correctly alone
  • Most of the commandments and concept album sentence is unsourced
  • "with its title-track intro inspired by" → "with a titular intro, inspired by"
  • "Rowland, Luckett and Roberson" → "Rowland, Luckett, and Roberson"
  • The slinky quote is not sourced
  • "by Kevin "She'kspere" Briggs and Kandi Burruss" → "by Briggs and Burruss"
  • "Burruss claimed it was" → "Burruss revealed it was" per WP:CLAIM
  • Remove pipe on soul
  • Remove wikilink on Missy Elliot
  • The commandment parts are not sourced for many of the songs; either remove or add source(s) backing these up
  • Being in a relationship and the quote about not giving in are not sourced
  • "after being abandoned by another woman," → "after leaving another woman," per the source
  • The theme is not sourced
  • "a protagonist pleading her partner to stay after noticing his loss of interest towards her." → "the group members pleading their partners to stay after noticing a loss of interest towards them."
  • Remove pipe on Next
  • "to "leave [their] men" → "to "leav[e their] men" per paraphrasing of the source
  • "of Rodney Jerkins' prior production" → "of Jerkins' prior production"
  • "the group's original manager." → "Destiny Child's original member."

Title and packaging

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  • "Kelly Rowland revealed: "When" → "Rowland revealed: "When"
  • Remove wikilink on Ten Commandments
  • "and the album's title written" → "and the title written"

Release and promotion

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  • The performance being of "Bills, Bills, Bills" is not sourced
  • Pipe Soul Train Lady of Soul Awards to Soul Train Music Awards
  • Remove pipe on TLC
  • Remove wikilink on "Say My Name"
  • "the group performing the song" → "Destiny Child's performing the song"
  • The March 4 performance being of "Say My Name" is not sourced
  • Ditto for the TMF Awards
  • Remove wikilink on "Jumpin', Jumpin'" and the performance on July 21 being of the song is not sourced
  • Img looks good!
  • "On July 9," → "On July 9, 2000,"
  • ""Say My Name" and "Bills, Bills, Bills"" → ""Say My Name", and "Bills, Bills, Bills""
  • "single "Independent Women Part I" in November." → "single "Independent Women Part I" in November 2000."
  • "the group performed a medley" → "Destiny's Child performed a medley"
  • ""Say My Name" and "Jumpin', Jumpin'"." → ""Say My Name", and "Jumpin', Jumpin'"."
  • "from the album." → "from The Writing's on the Wall."

Singles

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  • Remove wikilink on "Bills, Bills, Bills"
  • "by the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA)" → "by the RIAA" and mention for all of these instances it was in the US
  • Remove pipe on certification
  • "reached the top ten in" → "reached the top 10 in" per MOS:NUM
  • "the Netherlands and the United Kingdom." → "the Netherlands, and the UK."
  • "Its accompanying music video was" → "An accompanying music video was"
  • "tribute to Tina Knowles, Beyoncé's mother and the group's then-stylist," → "tribute to the group's then-stylist Tina Knowles," since we already know she is her mother
  • "as it peaked only at" → "peaking only at"
  • "within the top ten in" → "within the top 10 in"
  • "Its Grant-directed" → "The Grant-directed"
  • Remove wikilink on Wyclef Jean
  • Remove wikilink on "Say My Name" and add a source for the single release
  • "and the top ten in" → "and the top 10 in"
  • "Poland and the UK." → "Poland, and the UK."
  • Remove wikilink on Grammy Awards
  • Remove pipe on 43rd annual ceremony
  • "Its Joseph Kahn-directed" → "An Joseph Kahn-directed" but this is not sourced for the music video
  • "won the group their" → "won Destiny's Child their"
  • The release date and acclaim are not mentioned by the source
  • Pipe Mainstream Top 40 to Pop Airplay
  • "attained the top ten in" → "attained top 10 positions in"
  • "New Zealand and the UK." → "New Zealand, and the UK."
  • "Its accompanying music video was the group's second consecutive" → "Its music video was Destiny's Child's second consecutive one"
  • "to rhythmic contemporary radio in the United States" → "to rhythmic contemporary radio stations in the US" per MOS:US and add the wikilink
  • Most of the halted info is not sourced

Critical reception

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  • "received generally favorable reviews" → "was met with generally favorable reviews"
  • "adding that "even when" → "adding "even when"
  • "the group for sounding mature but" → "Destiny's Child for sounding mature, but"
  • Wikilink Rob Sheffield
  • Use singular speech marks inside double ones
  • "yeah-yeah-yeah paying customer." → "yeah-yeah-yeah paying customer."" to end the quote properly
  • For thematic order, shouldn't the NME review be before the mixed and negative ones?
  • Remove wikilinks on "Say My Name" and "Jumpin', Jumpin'"
  • Wouldn't it be better to add what Corin Larkin wrote about the album since the four stars is already covered in the ratings box?
  • "praised the album for" → "praised The Writing's on the Wall for"

Accolades

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  • Re-order this so the listings are first then awards

Awards and nominations

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  • Three is too little for a table, so write these out in prose
  • Remove the links for the Soul Train awards
  • Pipe American Music Award to American Music Awards

Listings

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  • Keep the table, but write out a summarization of how the album was ranked to year-end lists and mention some notable ones
  • Use scope col instead of centering apart from for refs, also lists and refs should be unsortable

Commercial performance

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  • "In the United States," → "In the US," per MOS:US
  • Remove wikilink on Billboard 200
  • Remove wikilink on "Say My Name"
  • "reinvigorated the album's sales." → "reinvigorated the sales."
  • Remove wikilink on Billboard Hot 100
  • "the album registered a" → "The Writing's on the Wall registered a"
  • "and was the tenth" → "and was the 10th" per MOS:NUM
  • Remove pipe on octuple platinum
  • "by the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA)." → "by the RIAA." and mention this was in the US for how many copies
  • "the album has sold over" → "The Writing's on the Wall has sold over"
  • For all the certifications, mention what countries they were in and how many copies or other units for
  • "it debuted at number nine" → "The Writing's on the Wall debuted at number nine"
  • "the album debuted at" → "The Writing's on the Wall debuted at"
  • "It re-entered the chart in its third week and went on to peak at number six in its tenth" → "The album re-entered the chart after three weeks and went on to peak at number six in the 10th"
  • "the album debuted at" → "The Writing's on the Wall debuted at"
  • "peaked at number ten" → "peaked at number 10"
  • "to the top ten in" → "to the top 10 in"
  • "Norway and Portugal" → "Norway, and Portugal"
  • Remove pipe on fourth best-selling girl group album of all time

Controversy

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  • Img looks good!
  • "LeToya Luckett and LaTavia Roberson attempted" → "Luckett and Roberson attempted"
  • Remove wikilink on Mathew Knowles
  • Avoid the term claimed per WP:CLAIM
  • "favored his daughter Beyoncé Knowles and Kelly Rowland." → "favored Beyoncé and Rowland." per all having been introduced previously
  • "to leave the group," → "to leave Destiny's Child,"
  • "the accompanying music video for" → "the music video for"
  • Remove wikilink on "Say My Name"
  • "They were replaced by Michelle Williams," → "They were replaced by Williams,"
  • Remove pipe on Monica
  • "and Farrah Franklin, an" → "and Franklin, an"
  • The stint part does not appear to be sourced
  • "On March 15," → with the year per this being a new para
  • "the action against Mathew Knowles." → "the action against Knowles." per him being the last person mentioned by the surname
  • "named Anjel but also" → "named Anjel, but also" even though the 581 Entertainment part is not sourced

Impact and legacy

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  • Remove pipe on music critics
  • "towards the album, various critics would acknowledge its" → "towards The Writing's on the Wall, various critics would acknowledge an"
  • Remove pipe on R&B
  • Remove wikilink on pop music
  • "called it one of" → "called the album one of"
  • Remove wikilink on neo-soul
  • Img looks good!
  • "Within the period of its commercial peak," → "Within its peak popularity period,"
  • "departure of LeToya Luckett and LaTavia Roberson," → "departure of Luckett and Roberson,"
  • "against the group and their manager Mathew Knowles." → "against the group and Knowles."
  • "the group's success continued," → "Destiny's Child's success continued,"
  • Remove pipe on Survivor
  • Remove wikilink on Beyoncé
  • Remove wikilink on Stereogum
  • Remove wikilinks on "Say My Name" and "Bug a Boo"
  • Remove wikilink on The Guardian
  • Avoid the term claimed per WP:CLAIM
  • "Kandi Burruss–one of the" → "Burruss–one of the"
  • "Lizzo and Megan Thee Stallion." → "Lizzo, and Megan Thee Stallion."

Track listing

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Personnel

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Charts

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Certifications

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  • Good

Release history

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  • Good

See also

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  • Good

Notes

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  • sold 700,000 additional units → sold around 700,000 additional units

References

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  • Copyvio score looks much too high at 56.6%; cut down direct quoting to reduce this!
  • Pipe Billboard to Billboard (magazine) on all instances for consistency
  • Fix MOS:CAPS issues with refs 14, 30 and 64
  • Fix MOS:QWQ issues with ref 19
  • Add url-access limited to refs 26 and 119
  • Remove or replace ref 28 per WP:GENIUS
  • Remove or replace refs 33 and 37 per WP:RSP
  • Remove or replace refs 35, 36, 41, 42 and 47 per WP:RSPYT on user videos
  • Remove the publisher from ref 72
  • Fix MOS:QWQ and MOS:CAPS issues with ref 80
  • What exactly makes ref 81 a reliable source?
  • Add via Google Books to any of the sources using those URLs
  • Pipe Sony Music Entertainment to Sony Music on ref 125
  • Remove the publisher from ref 177

Bibliography

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  • Good

Further reading

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  • Good
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  • Good

Final comments and verdict

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The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.