Talk:Thomas Elfe/GA1

Latest comment: 3 years ago by Doug Coldwell in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 20:53, 31 August 2021 (UTC)Reply


Comments

  • "was a successful colonial period furniture" not sure we need "successful" here, nor else he'd probably not be notable.
  •   Done


  • fifteen-hundred -> 1,500.
  •   Done


  • Lead needs expansion, I would imagine that a sentence for each of the major paragraphs of the biography would suffice.
  •   Done


  • "He was a prolific furniture and cabinet craftsman of the American colonial period." this feels out of place being just after he was born.
  •   Done


  • "settled in Virginia and" link.
  •   Done


  • "cabinetmaker" link.
  •   Done


  • "in Charles Towne," link?
  •   Done


  • "His working career spanned almost thirty years from about 1746 to 1775.[7]" another odd "summary" sentence, better off in the lead than here.
  •   Done


  • "6,200 English pounds - considered a fortune at the time" Just use £6,200. And considered by whom? If you keep that somehow, the hyphen should be

an en-dash.

  •   Done


  • "one time director " one-time.
  •   Done


  • "famous furniture craftsman in the eighteenth century" in the US presumably, not globally...?
  •   Done


  • All of that para seems out of chronological order to the biography.
  •   Done


  • "From there right around 1746 he ..." -> "and in around 1746..."
  •   Done


  • "an ad in the" advertisment.
  •   Done


  • "The £150 value would be several thousand dollars in the twentieth century" we have inflation/conversion for this.
  •   Done Tried to put in inflation template for English money, but not sure if I did correct. Couldn't figure out how to convert English money into American dollars. Can you help on this? I appreciate it. Thanks.--Doug Coldwell (talk) 20:41, 1 September 2021 (UTC)Reply


  • "Charles Town" was Charles Towne above.
  •   Done = should be Charles Towne. I corrected spelling.


  • "the average person of the city being several times wealthier on the whole " this feels rather woolly.
  •   Done


  • "The wealthy Charlestonians loved London-style furnishings and would purchase most anything along these fashions that was handmade by local woodworkers. " this reads a little like a gossip column for me.
  •   Done


  • "over fifteen hundred pieces" 1,500
  •   Done


  • "paid £728 in" inflate/convert.
  •   Done


  • "In 1761 they submitted a bill to the church for some interior woodwork they did. " feels trivial.
  •   Done


  • "of a Mahogany Communion Table" Why The Capitals?
  •   Done


  • £157, inflate/convert.
  •   Done


  • "Thomas Elfe, Jr.," Wikipedia doesn't put commas before Jr. any longer.
  •   Done


  • "several associates hand-made over fifteen-hundred furniture pieces including fancy cabinets" already said this. And "fancy cabinets" is not encyclopedic.
  •   Done


  • "that were sold to Charleston's leading families and the wealthy" again, this feels like it's repeating.
  •   Done


  • "furniture and to put up new furniture and to do minor repairs to furniture" furniture x 3 is repetitive.
  •   Done


  • "the Declaration of Independence such" link to the actual one.
  •   Done


  • "signers of the Declaration of Independence" signatories normally, and don't repeat DoI.
  •   Done


  • "Elfe's work..." this para is very clunky, very short sentences introducing factoid after factoid. Needs smoothing out.
  •   Done


  • "Elfe ad in South Carolina Gazette - January 7" advertisement, en-dash.
  •   Done


  • "He didn't get" avoid contractions.
  •   Done


  • "married ... married" repetitive.
  •   Done


  • "several children.[29] Their names were" merge.
  •   Done


  • "made a lot of money" not eneyclopedic tone.
  •   Done


  • "234 acre plantation" convert.
  •   Done


  • £1500. inflate/convert.
  •   Done


  • "at £lOOO" why those O's??
  •   Done


  • Ref 17, should p. 7-14. be pp. 7–14?
  •   Done


  • Ref 23 needs an en-dash.
  •   Done


  • As does 27.
  •   Done


  • Ref 28, shouldn't jr. be Jr.? And no comma.
  •   Done


  • Ref 33 has one too many full stops.
  •   Done


  • McCrady needs en-dash.
  •   Done


  • ISBNs need consistent format.
  •   Done


That's all I have. The Rambling Man (Keep wearing the mask...) 15:27, 1 September 2021 (UTC)Reply
Thanks for review. I'll start working on it after lunch.--Doug Coldwell (talk) 15:35, 1 September 2021 (UTC)Reply
@The Rambling Man: All issues have been addressed. Can you take another look. Thanks.--Doug Coldwell (talk) 19:01, 2 September 2021 (UTC)Reply