Talk:Tokyo File 212/GA1

Latest comment: 6 years ago by Ssven2 in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Reviewer: Ssven2 (talk · contribs) 15:39, 22 March 2018 (UTC)Reply


I will review this article. Thank you.  — Ssven2 Looking at you, kid 15:39, 22 March 2018 (UTC)Reply

Comments
  • Wikilink "Japanese-American", "geisha" and "Principal photography".  Y
  • "U.S. intelligence" — Which one? FBI or CIA?
It isn't made clear in the film. We only know he was a secret agent. Since the operation was done for the US effort in Japan, we can safely assume he was from the FBI but none of the sources states this explicitly so I haven't added any organisation's name.
  • Some of the cast members' roles are not specified in the "Cast" section. Please do so or remove those names for which you are not able to find the roles.
Added details for US Army officials,   Working on the remaining ones.
I have added a line for the actors with unnamed roles.
  • "After the war ended, Breakston shifted his focus towards films and directed Urubu: The Story of Vulture People (1948) and Jungle Stampede (1950)." — Can be rephrased as "After the war ended, Breakston shifted his focus towards films, directing Urubu: The Story of Vulture People (1948) and Jungle Stampede (1950)."  Y
  • "Screenwriters Dorrell and Stewart McGowan agreed to back the production and for this venture Breakston–McGowan Productions, Inc. was established. They also provided screenplay." — Can be rephrased as "Dorrell and Stewart McGowan, in addition to writing the film's screenplay, agreed to back the production and established the company Breakston–McGowan Productions, Inc. for this venture."  Y
  • "Irene Breakston and C. Ray Stahl were assistant and associate producers respectively. Herman Schopp was the cinematographer. Albert Glasser provided the music score." — Too much of staccato-styled sentences. Maybe something like "Irene Breakston and C. Ray Stahl were the assistant and associate producer respectively. Herman Schopp was the cinematographer while Albert Glasser provided the musical score."  Y
  • "In the initial draft, two American intelligence agents were involved." — Anything to support why it went down from two to one?
Don't know. Sources don't provide enough info.
Removed the sentence myself. You can re-add it if you have enough information.  — Ssven2 Looking at you, kid 14:40, 2 April 2018 (UTC)Reply
  • Why did Lloyd Nolan leave the project/replaced by Robert Peyton?
Clarified.
  • Year of release for Half Angel, Sealed Cargo and Cyclone Fury should be included.  Y
  • "Initially, veteran actor Sessue Hayakawa was to play the antagonist" — Anything to support why she left the project?
I have just stated that he was being considered for the villain's role.
  • "Marly chose this film instead of another big budget Mexican one." — Anything to support why she did so?
This too hasn't been covered in detail by the media. I have reframed the sentence.
  • "The 100 feet long and 70 feet wide ballroom set was built in $160." — Sounds vague. Do clarify.
Added that it was built for the underground bar scene.
  • "During a railroad brawl scene several actors were hurt and they bled." — Again sounds vague and staccato0like. Do tweak this sentence.
Changed.
  • What do you mean by "outright purchase".
Given the on-location shooting in Japan with Japanese actors playing major parts and geisha performances the filmmakers and industry people assumed that the film would be popular and attract large audience.

Skr15081997, on the whole, some of the prose as stated in my above comments look staccato-like. Rectify them and I will promote the article.  — Ssven2 Looking at you, kid 10:33, 24 March 2018 (UTC)Reply

  • Ssven2 First of all, really sorry for taking so long. Had some real life issues. I have resolved some of your above comments. As for the copyediting and clarification of facts give me a couple of more days. I have an idea for the casting issue. What if I just add that Sessue Hayakawa and Lloyd Nolan were also considered for the film? Would that do? --Skr15081997 (talk) 14:56, 31 March 2018 (UTC)Reply
That would work, Skr15081997.  — Ssven2 Looking at you, kid 15:08, 31 March 2018 (UTC)Reply

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

  1. Is it reasonably well written?
    A. Prose is "clear and concise", without copyvios, or spelling and grammar errors:  
    B. MoS compliance for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and lists:  
  2. Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
    A. Has an appropriate reference section:  
    B. Citation to reliable sources where necessary:  
    C. No original research:  
  3. Is it broad in its coverage?
    A. Major aspects:  
    B. Focused:  
  4. Is it neutral?
    Fair representation without bias:  
  5. Is it stable?
    No edit wars, etc:  
  6. Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
    A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:  
    B. Images are provided if possible and are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:  
  7. Overall: Passed, my queries were met and solved by the nominator.
    Pass or Fail:  
Thank you for addressing them, Skr15081997. Congratulations, the article has passed.  — Ssven2 Looking at you, kid 14:40, 2 April 2018 (UTC)Reply