Talk:Tomb Raider: Anniversary/GA1

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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GA Review

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Reviewer: Aoba47 (talk · contribs) 02:12, 21 September 2018 (UTC)

• Grabbing this for a review if that is okay with you. I have played this game several times (I can't believe I had the patience when I was younger to complete all of the time trials lol), and I enjoyed it a lot (it may actually be my favorite out of the three. I will try to get to it within the week, but feel free to ping me as a reminder. Aoba47 (talk) 02:12, 21 September 2018 (UTC)

Lead and infobox

• For these two sentences (Using the Legend engine, the team rebuilt the gameplay and levels, and series creator Toby Gard expanded the narrative. Composer Troels Brun Folmann remade and expanded the music using an orchestral style.), you use the word “expand” twice in a close proximity in a similar context. I would avoid that if possible.
• Please provide ALT text for the infobox image.

Gameplay

• Please provide ALT text for the image.
• In the image, Lara is technically “jumping” towards a switch, not “climbing”.
• This sentence (Lara can jump, climb and shimmy along ledges and vertical poles or ladders, crawl through small spaces, swing on ropes and horizontal poles, interact with objects and switches, use a grappling hook to latch onto special rings for both puzzle solving and environmental traversal, and swim and dive underwater for a limited time.) is rather long and contains a lot of content. It may be better to somehow separate this into two smaller sentences to make the content more digestible to an unfamiliar reader.
• For this sentence (These involve avoiding traps and timed environmental elements built into the level.), I am not sure that “built into the level” is necessary. I think you can cut it and have the same information conveyed.

Plot

• For this sentence (Navigating the catacombs beneath St Frances' Folly, Lara finds the tomb of Tihocan, another member of the Triumvirate that led the survivors of Atlantis after a betrayal caused the city's destruction.), there should be another comma after “Triumvirate”.

Development

• For this part (and introduced by the series' gameplay standards and its protagonist Lara Croft.), should it be “introduced” rather than “introduced by”.
• In the sentences about Angel of Darkness, should you also mention that the game was for all intensive purposes incomplete (i.e. major sections of gameplay and plot were either removed or not started) and it was rush-released? The game is pretty infamous for that and the amount of bugs and how generally broken it is. I feel like the incomplete/rushed release and bugs is what really forced Core Designs to lose the property.
• For this sentence (They received permission from Eidos to create the remake, beginning development in late 2005 for a release during the 2006 holiday season.), I would say “,and began” instead of “,beginning” as the current wording reads somewhat awkwardly to me.
• I am a little confused about the separation of the first two paragraphs. It seems a little odd to talk about the start of the Core Design remake at the end of the first paragraph and the second paragraph. Wouldn’t it be better to make it all one paragraph, and just have the first paragraph be about the history of Tomb Raider (i.e. the start, the Angel of Darkness fiasco, and the reboot by Crystal Dynamics).
• For this sentence (Following the release of Legend in 2006, Crystal Dynamics was given the task of creating their own remake of the original Tomb Raider.), could you clarify who requested Crystal Dynamics to do the remake, if it is known?

Story and art design

• Make sure that all the images have ALT text.
• I do not believe the “so far” transition makes sense in this sentence (The original game needed to tell the story as quickly as possible, so for Anniversary Gard fleshed out the game's lore and character motivations.), and I would revise it with something else. I am not quite sure how the two ideas go together.

Game design

• Everything looks good here.

Audio

• For this sentence (The main theme was identical to that used in the first game, except with more advanced orchestral elements.), would it be better to say “similar” rather than “identicial” if different elements were added to it for this game?
• For this sentence (While his work on Legend involved a large amount of electronic and rhythm instruments to blend musical genres, Folmann changed to a purely orchestral score for Anniversary.), the references need to be placed in numeric order.

Release and versions

• Wikilink Tomb Raider: Underworld here and unlink it in a later section.

Reception

• Everything looks good here

Sales

• Everything looks good here

Legacy

• Unlink Underworld here as you mentioned the game in a different section.
• I am not sure about the section title. Should it be “Sequel” or something similar as I would imagine that a “Legacy” section would deal more with how this particular game either influenced other games or was reviewed during retrospective articles.

Final comments

• Once all of my comments are addressed, I will be more than happy to pass this. Great work with this! Aoba47 (talk) 03:57, 21 September 2018 (UTC)

• @Aoba47: I've addressed all the points you raised. I'm glad there were so few. My standard was slipping a few months ago to the point a GA failed instantly. I've been wary of bringing this one forward until I could iron out as many of the kinks as I could on my own. --ProtoDrake (talk) 07:52, 21 September 2018 (UTC)

• Thank you for addressing everything. I think you did a really good job with this. I will pass this. Aoba47 (talk) 17:23, 21 September 2018 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.