Talk:Tombstone Blues/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: Phlsph7 (talk · contribs) 07:43, 17 September 2023 (UTC)

I'll review this one. I hope to have some initial comments soon. Phlsph7 (talk) 07:43, 17 September 2023 (UTC)

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
It is reasonably well written. a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists): It is factually accurate and verifiable. a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism): It is broad in its coverage. a (major aspects): b (focused): It follows the neutral point of view policy. Fair representation without bias: It is stable. No edit wars, etc.: It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate. a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall: Pass/Fail:
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Prose, spelling, and grammar

• Some passages use Oxford commas while others don't, which is not good for consistency. I suggest using them everywhere. The following passages miss Oxford commas.
  • The song received acclaim from music critics, with critics praising the lyrics, music and delivery.
  • Live versions have appeared on the albums Real Live (1984), MTV Unplugged (1995) and Shadow Kingdom (2023).
  • Wilson had produced Dylan's albums The Times They Are a-Changin' (1964), Another Side of Bob Dylan (1964) and Bringing It All Back Home (1965)
  • It was later included on his compilation albums Biograph (1985), The Original Mono Recordings and The Best of the Original Mono Recordings (2010).
• For the critic Mike Marqusee, the repetitive and routine lives of the narrator's parents in the choruses contrasts with the "cruel antics of the rich and powerful" laid out in the verses. replace "contrasts" with "contrast"
• Another critics to highlight Bloomfield's contribution on guitar was Joe Levy of Rolling Stone. replace "critics" with "critic"
• Perfomances later that year, at Carnegie Hall and the Mosque Theater, were more enthusisatically received by audiences,... replace "Perfomances" with "Performances" and "enthusisatically" with "enthusiastically"
• Stephen King, who has spoken of his admiration for Dylan's work, quotes from "Tombstone Blues" at the end of his first published novel Carrie, should not end with a comma.
• Dylan's official website site lists... remove "site"
• Although the website lists the first performance as being at Forest Hills Tennis Stadium on, August 28, 1965, remove the comma after "on"

• I've amended the article for the points above. 14:54, 18 September 2023 (UTC)

• Musical credits adapted from the details for take 1 on The Bootleg Series, Vol. 12: Bob Dylan 1965–1966, The Best of the Cutting Edge, and from Olof Björner's website. Technical credits adapted from the Bob Dylan All the Songs: The Story Behind Every Track book. I assume it should be "were adapted" instead of "adapted" both times to form complete sentences. Should this information be part of the article text? It sounds more like it belongs into a reference.

• I find it a bit odd to highlight the sources in this way, but I've been asked to do it for previous GAs. Two of a sample of three song FAs passed in August have something similar: Gento_(song) and Mother (Meghan Trainor song) do, but not Never Forget You (Mariah Carey song). BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 14:54, 18 September 2023 (UTC)

Spotcheck

• David Boucher, an international relations scholar, describes the song as "not a narrative but instead a series of metaphors whose inspiration happens to be the Vietnam war".[29] supported
• Twelve takes were recorded on July 29, 1965, at Columbia Studio A, 799 Seventh Avenue, New York.[7] supported
• Dylan sang and played guitar and harmonica, accompanied by Mike Bloomfield on guitar, Paul Griffin on piano, Al Kooper on organ, Joe Macho, Jr. on bass, and Bobby Gregg on drums.[8][2] supported by Björner
• "Tombstone Blues" has been described as folk rock,[16]] supported
• In 2012, Jim Beviglia included the song at 36th place in his ranking of Dylan's "finest" songs, commending the memorable phrases from the lyrics and the song's "glorious anarchy".[36] supported
• In Rolling Stone, Kurt Loder criticized the "formless arrangement" of the performance.[44] supported
• Rolling Stone reviewer Michaelangelo Matos wrote that the "mordant, mortality-steeped feeling doesn't bring the music down a bit".[47] supported
• The Dylan biographer Robert Shelton details the basic chords in the verse as "C, C7, F, and back to C", with a middle eight in which "F and C chords alternate".[15] supported
• Dylan's biographer Robert Shelton writes that the song references the Vietnam War throughout, especially the title and the third and fourth verses.[15] supported
• Shelton sees President Lyndon Baines Johnson as the subject of the phrase "King of the Philistines".[15] supported
• Shelton finds the song funny, commenting on the outlandish juxtapositions, and praises both the lyrics and the musical performances, particularly the guitar playing.[15] supported

Others

• WP:EARWIG shows one possible copyright violation with https://www.bobdylan.com/songs/tombstone-blues/. This is not a problem since the detection is caused by quotes and album titles
• I don't think that it's obvious to the reader why the image caption is relevant since folk rock is discussed only a few paragraphs later. Maybe a better caption could be found or it might be helpful to move the image next to the paragraph where folk rock is discussed.

• I've amended the caption rather than move the image. (Moving it wouldn't be ideal for desktop display.) BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 14:57, 18 September 2023 (UTC)

• The section "Cultural references" consists of a single sentence, which is not ideal. Maybe this point could be included somehow in the section "Lyrics and interpretation". An alternative would be to expand the section. Phlsph7 (talk) 07:51, 18 September 2023 (UTC)

• Moved. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 14:57, 18 September 2023 (UTC)

Many thanks, Phlsph7. Let me know about anything further required. Regards, BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 14:57, 18 September 2023 (UTC)

Thanks for implementing the changes. The article looks good now. Phlsph7 (talk) 16:49, 18 September 2023 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.