Talk:TooTimeTooTimeTooTime/GA1
Latest comment: 3 years ago by (CA)Giacobbe in topic GA Review
GA Review
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Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 07:58, 1 March 2021 (UTC)
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First review of the GAN backlog for me! --K. Peake 07:58, 1 March 2021 (UTC)
Infobox and lead
editList George Daniel and Matthew Healy by their full names under producers per Template:Infobox songDoneThe writing and production sentence should be the second one of the lead insteadDone"The song was released on" → "It was released on"DoneRemove the names of the previous singles because that is irrelevant to the articleDone,also the release date is not mentioned anywhere in the body; maybe add it at the start of reception and retitle to Release and reception?DoneWriting and production credits are not written directly in the lead but are sourced from personnel; try to write out somewhere like the opening sectionDone"It was written by" → "The song was written by"DoneMaybe identify Guendoline Rome Viray Gomez by his stage name of No Rome to avoid confusion, as you use that later on?Done
- @Kyle Peake:
He is credited by his legal name. I'm not overly familiar with the WP policy for legal (vs stage) names, but I can change it if you feel it's appropriate.Giacobbe talk 13:48, 1 March 2021 (UTC)
- @(CA)Giacobbe:
I could understand this if it was the only mention of him in the lead, but he is later mentioned by his stage name of No Rome so to avoid confusion for readers, you should either list him as that initially since songwriting credits list musicians under their real names, or use the real name initially but put "who has the stage name of No Rome" afterwards. --K. Peake 15:46, 1 March 2021 (UTC)
- @(CA)Giacobbe: Okay, no worries! I honestly didn't know haha (most of the articles I write are from the 1975, and they write/produce all their songs without stage names), but that makes sense! Giacobbe talk 16:07, 1 March 2021 (UTC)
- @(CA)Giacobbe:
- @Kyle Peake:
"was handled by former two." → "was handled by the former two."Done"The song's beat originated from" → "The beat originated from"Done"during "Narcissist" (2018), the band's" → "during the recording of "Narcissist", the band's" to be specific; also, release years for songs are not notable for the leadDoneRemove wikilink on No RomeDoneIt is not sourced in the body that they continued working on the beat with No RomeDone
- @(CA)Giacobbe: Rewritten to match the body! Giacobbe talk 16:15, 1 March 2021 (UTC)
"and synth-pop that" → "and synth-pop song that"DoneThere are too many musical styles listed that the song draws from for the lead; cut down since it currently reads like a supermarket list hereDoneTarget bubblegum pop to Bubblegum musicDoneWikilink indietronica per MOS:LINK2SECTDoneRemove wikilink on AfropopDoneSame issue as I said with musical styles for the production info in the leadDoneWikilink social mediaDoneWikilink internetDoneRemove "achieved moderate success on worldwide music charts" since such language is not suitable for the lead; merge the previous parts of that sentence with the one about the UK/ScotlandDoneIreland position should come before the US one because the former is a main chartDoneAdd the word chart after Billboard Hot Rock & Alternative SongsDoneUseless capitalisation for silverDone"by the British Phonographic Industry," → "by the British Phonographic Industry (BPI)." and remove the sales amount, as that is not notable hereDone"and lip synching in front" → "and lip synching the song's lyrics in front"Done
Background and recording
editRemove commas after around the album titleDone
- @Kyle Peake:
Commas around ILIWYS or ABIIOR? Or both?Giacobbe talk 14:01, 1 March 2021 (UTC)
- @(CA)Giacobbe:
The former, as you should not have commas after the studio album term in the body like the lead style.--K. Peake 15:46, 1 March 2021 (UTC)
- @(CA)Giacobbe:
- @Kyle Peake:
The year-end and decade rankings are not sourcedDone- "considered by various publications" → "while being considered by various publications"
- Removed the "decade" part and reworded, not sure if this is still applicable. Giacobbe talk 14:01, 1 March 2021 (UTC)
- Yeah, this is fine and so is the source! --K. Peake 15:46, 1 March 2021 (UTC)
Maybe mention in the A Brief Inquiry into Online Relationships sentence that the album includes "TooTimeTooTimeTooTime"?DoneAnnie Mac should be italicised per the articleDone"condensing it into a" → "condensing the track into a"Done[13] should be solely at the end of the para because it backs up all of the last three sentences entirelyDone"saying it didn't" → "saying it does not" since this is talking about the song itself, so use correct tenseDone"and be enjoyable." → "and be enjoyable like he considers music to be "about at some point"." per sourceDone
Music and lyrics
edit- Audio sample looks good!
""TooTimeTooTimeTooTime" is an" → "Musically, "TooTimeTooTimeTooTime" is an"Done"song built around a" → "song that is built around a"DoneWhere is the unique structure sentence sourced?Remove target on popDone"melodic production composed of" → "melodic production, composed of"DoneTarget chords to Chord (music)DoneTarget bubblegum pop to Bubblegum musicDoneWikilink indietronica per MOS:LINK2SECTDoneWhere is the larger online world part sourced?"missed phone calls, and" → "missed phone calls and" because the article is in British EnglishDone"that the track: "captures" → "that the track "captures"DoneTarget retro to Retro styleDone"of both autotune and" → "of both Auto-Tune on Healy's vocals and" to be specific per the sourceDoneIdentify Pyrour Stroud as being of Slant MagazineDone"calling the song a" → "with him calling the song a"Done- Are No Ripcord really a reliable source; the majority of the team are contributors and anyone can fill in the application form?
- @Kyle Peake: No Ripcord is considered a reliable source by Wikipedia and their review of this album is included as part of its Metacritic score, who includes it in a scrutinised and frequently reviewed list of reliable sources. Giacobbe talk 14:14, 1 March 2021 (UTC)
"that the track: "looks" → "that the track "looks"Done"matter-of-fact indifference."" → "matter-of-fact indifference"." per MOS:QUOTEDone
Reception
editRetitle to Release and reception, adding the release date of the single as the opening sentence with a sourceDone- Img looks good!
"of 2018, calling it" → "of 2018; Pryor Stroud called it"Done
- Should I includes Stroud's first name, as he is mentioned in the preceding section? Giacobbe talk 14:26, 1 March 2021 (UTC)
- @(CA)Giacobbe: No, I must have missed that sorry; only list by his forename in this section. --K. Peake 15:46, 1 March 2021 (UTC)
- Fix MOS:QUOTE issues throughout this section
- @Kyle Peake: I think I've fixed the issues. I'm admittedly not very good with understanding the different ways to properly reference quotes on WP. If you could just give this a once over, that'd be much appreciated! Giacobbe talk 16:34, 1 March 2021 (UTC)
The Ringer should not be italicisedDoneMention the groove in comp too since that's notableDone"on the album's core theme; relationships" → "on the album's core theme of relationships"Done"calling it: "their" → "calling it "their"Done"trends into the groups" → "trends into the 1975's"Done"deemed it the band's" → "deemed it their"Done"called the line" → "called the couplet"Done"all-time favourite lyrics." → "all-time favourite Healy lyrics."Done"highlighted the same line," → "highlighted the same couplet,"Done"saying: "The 1975 understand" → "saying that the 1975 "understand"DoneWikilink UK Singles ChartDoneIreland should come before the US chart position and then Sweden since they should be ordered geographically in the bodyDoneAdd the word chart after Billboard Hot Rock & Alternative SongsDoneUseless capitalisation for silver and add BPI in brackets for the British Phonographic IndustryDone
Music video
edit- I am confused about [47]; why does it say the video was for "Love It If We Made It" and not this song?
- Yeah that's strange, considering those people are in the video, lol. I'm assuming they filmed the two videos at the same time since both have "fans" in them, and the following source says: "Fans gathered in Europe to film the video in July, and from the looks of it, it seems like it was an unforgettable day." Giacobbe talk 14:49, 1 March 2021 (UTC)
"on Spotify on 15 August." → "via Spotify on 15 August 2018." but the release date is not sourced for this oneDone"on the group's" → "on the band's"DoneThe opening and lip sync parts are not sourcedDone[20] is useless here due to saying nothing about the videoDone
- Fixed with the correct ref. Giacobbe talk 16:38, 1 March 2021 (UTC)
"the "colourful" backdrops" → "the colourful backdrops"Done"Well, The 1975 is" → "Well, [the band] is"DoneThe Fader review is not mentioned by the source, againDone
Credits and personnel
edit- Again, should No Rome be listed under his real name?
- Credits list him by his legal name, can change if you'd prefer but source does not list him as "No Rome". Giacobbe talk 14:51, 1 March 2021 (UTC)
- He is not listed for producer or anything else that would be confusing not to put his stage name for, so keep as real name... this was more of a query. --K. Peake 15:46, 1 March 2021 (UTC)
- Yeah, no worries! Same here. I have no idea what the guidelines for this are, haha. Giacobbe talk 16:42, 1 March 2021 (UTC)
Charts
edit- Good
Certifications
editSee MOS:TABLECAPTIONDone
References
edit- Copyvio score looks too high at 43.5%, but this is not due to parts actually quoted from Soundigest so it is ok
- Top job with the archiving!
BBC → BBC Radio 1 on ref 1DoneSony/ATV Music Publishing → Musicnotes.com on ref 19DoneRef 30's archive does not work, so change to a different oneDone- Are you sure about ref 35's reliability per my earlier comment?
- Yes. As per my comments above. Giacobbe talk 15:03, 1 March 2021 (UTC)
Cite The Ringer as publisher instead for ref 36DoneYou are supposed to cite artist parameter instead of date for ref 45Done
Sorry, adding/deleting refs has gotten me confused? Which ref is this referring to?Giacobbe talk 15:03, 1 March 2021 (UTC)
- (CA)Giacobbe
The one for the Ireland chart position. Also, I have only left comments where they are needed; good luck!--K. Peake 15:46, 1 March 2021 (UTC)
- (CA)Giacobbe
External links
edit- Good
Final comments and verdict
edit- On hold until all of the issues are fixed, but I did not put reliable sources as y or n since I am not sure either way about ref 35. --K. Peake 11:47, 1 March 2021 (UTC)
- @Kyle Peake: I believe I've addressed all of your concerns. Thank you for another amazing review (and the first one for ABIIOR!). Please let me know if there's anything I've missed :) Giacobbe talk 16:41, 1 March 2021 (UTC)
- @(CA)Giacobbe: Looks good, apart from the one QWQ issue with "at the same time."" in the reception section; it is not a full sentence so the full-stop should be after speech marks. --K. Peake 17:04, 1 March 2021 (UTC)
- @Kyle Peake: Fixed! Giacobbe talk 17:59, 1 March 2021 (UTC)
- @(CA)Giacobbe: ✓ Pass now, they were two more issues that had arisen but they were not ones that had been gone over here so I fixed them myself. Congrats on scoring a GA during the backlog drive!!! --K. Peake 18:02, 1 March 2021 (UTC)
- Thank you, buddy! Always a pleasure!! Giacobbe talk 18:04, 1 March 2021 (UTC)