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Talk:Top Gear Rally/GA1

< Talk:Top Gear Rally
Latest comment: 4 years ago by MWright96 in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Latest comment: 4 years ago5 comments2 people in discussion
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Reviewer: MWright96 (talk · contribs) 06:57, 8 March 2020 (UTC)Reply

Shall review this article. MWright96 (talk) 06:57, 8 March 2020 (UTC)Reply

  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose):   b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):  
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (reference section):   b (citations to reliable sources):   c (OR):  
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects):   b (focused):  
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:  
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:  
  6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales):   b (appropriate use with suitable captions):  
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:  

General

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  • The placement of the references in the prose should be in numerical order in every instance
    • That should now be fixed

Lead

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  • Wikilink the first mention of the word suspension to Car suspension
    • Done
  • "The game features a physics engine with functioning suspension" - with a functioning
    • Done

Gameplay

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Development and release

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  • "could develop a game for the then-recent Nintendo 64 console." - the words in bold are not needed
    • I suspect you mean "then-recent" is unnecessary? Removed
  • "including a physics engine with functioning suspension" - with a functioning
    • Done
  • "Although Boss did not have licenses to use car brands, the cars featured in the game were modeled after real vehicles" - repetition of the word "car(s)"
    • Replaced "car brands" with "automobile manufacturing brands"
  • "such as Ford Escort, Toyota Celica, Toyota Supra, and Porsche 911" - the Ford Escort, the Toyota Celica, the Toyota Supra, and the Porsche 911.
    • Done
  • Also, by watching gameplay footage, should not Ford Escort be linked to Ford Escort (Europe)
  • "The game was presented at the Electronic Entertainment Expo in Atlanta in June 1997, where attendees could play a demo of the game." - repetition of the word "game"
    • That should now be fixed
  • "It also includes a new intro sequence" - how about title sequence instead?
    • Agreed.
  • "such as the F150 and Mitsubishi Pajero." - the Mitsubishi Pajero.
    • Done

Reception

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  • "sating that the game" - typo; should be stating
    • Done
  • "and repeats textures very often." - more formal; frequently
    • Done
  • "including an instance of two cars melting into each other" - maybe reworded this portion of text somewhat because I feel those who do not play video games will not understand what is meant here
    • Replaced "melting into each other" with "overlapping"
  • "and the fact that cars can get stuck on slanted roadsides" - try to avoid repetition of the word car(s) in the same sentence
    • That should now be fixed
  • "The tracks length" - track's or The length of the tracks
    • Fixed
  • "to see their surroundings" - how about observe instead for a more formal writing style?
    • Agreed

Overall the main issues concern how some of the prose is written and the lack of some wikilinks that would help the non-video gamer. On hold. MWright96 (talk) 08:26, 8 March 2020 (UTC)Reply

Thank you for your review, really appreciated. I think I have fixed all the issues and left some coments above. Please let me know if there is anything else that needs to be fixed. --Niwi3 (talk) 11:57, 8 March 2020 (UTC)Reply
@Niwi3: All the changes made are satisfactory. Now promoting to GA class. MWright96 (talk) 13:28, 8 March 2020 (UTC)Reply
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