Talk:Tormented (Staind album)/GA1

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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GA Review

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Reviewer: IndianBio (talk · contribs) 05:22, 11 June 2018 (UTC)

Opening comments

• Start by adding WP:ALT text for the images.  Done
  • Not done. I don't see alternate text for the album cover in infobox.  Done —IB ^{[ Poke ]} 04:41, 5 July 2018 (UTC)
• The personnel section is devoid of any inline citation.  Done
• Remove Discogs being used as source. Its grossly unreliable and user-edited.  Done

—IB ^{[ Poke ]} 05:30, 24 June 2018 (UTC)

@Statik N: not sure you saw the opening comments. —IB ^{[ Poke ]} 05:22, 25 June 2018 (UTC)

Infobox

• Use {{hlist}} if possible with the genres per WP:IBX  Done
• Tormented is the debut studio album by the American rock band Staind, self-released in 1996. → The release year is redundant as in the opening of the next para you mention the date.  Done
• Tormented sold at least a few thousand copies and although it received very little critical reception, the reception was positive, praising its heaviness and aggression though criticizing its production. → Such a heavy sentence for no reason. Just simply write "Tormented received minor attention after its release. Reviewers were positive towards the heaviness and aggression in their music, but criticized its production. The album sold a few thousand copies."  Done
• Described as a grunge-influenced alternative metal and heavy metal album by critics, Tormented is somewhat of a concept album that tells the story of a depressed person who eventually commits suicide. → This should come before the line about "Mudshovel" since its expanding on the critic review.  Done

Background

• Mushok brought drummer Jon Wysocki into the fold → into the fold sounds very fancrufty, suggest changing.  Done
• Staind was originally a cover band, covering songs by bands such as → Staind originally covered songs by bands such as  Done
• In November 1995, Johnny April joined the band to replace the original bassist;[7] on November 24, 1995, the band officially formed in Springfield, Massachusetts → A bit too much date-y? Can we rephrase this to "The band officially formed on November 24, 1995, after Johnny April joined the same month replacing the original bassist."  Done
• As Tormented was written and recorded, Lewis reportedly was going through the throes of the breakup of a four-year relationship → While the album was being written and recorded, Lewis reportedly was going through the throes of the breakup of a four-year relationship  Done
• File:Springfield-MA.jpg → This file does not really serve any purpose. Its just a city scape.  Done

Finishing till here. —IB ^{[ Poke ]} 06:31, 5 July 2018 (UTC)

Release section

• Self-released on November 29, 1996,[23][13][24] → You need to reorder the references so that they are numerically ordered.  Done
• with at least 200 buying the album → I would remove this bit altogether. Record-release parties are notorious for giving away albums so this does not mean that they were actually brought at retail. Lets not make the entry open to interpretation.  Done
• Although Tormented received very little critical attention, reviews were positive, with critics finding fault in the album's production but praising its heaviness and aggression. → Such a dense summarization would require a source attribution, else I would suggest remove this. You already have summarized it for the WP:LEAD that should do.  Done

Artwork

• Curious, shouldn't this section be above the release section? Ideally if you think about it, the artwork of an album is already present before its release.  Done
• The second para after the blockquote is a bit too WP:QUOTEFARM. Please rephrase in your own words otherwise its borderline crossing WP:PLAGIARISM.  Done

References

• Please use ISBN converter to get the correct format of the ISBNs.  Done

That's all. Keeping the article on hold for 14 days pending all the improvements. —IB ^{[ Poke ]} 03:43, 7 July 2018 (UTC)

Passing the article. —IB ^{[ Poke ]} 08:05, 17 July 2018 (UTC)