Talk:Travis Konecny

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

---

This review is transcluded from Talk:Travis Konecny/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Kavyansh.Singh (talk · contribs) 14:29, 28 November 2021 (UTC)
Nominator: GhostRiver (talk · contribs) at at 19:53, 25 October 2021 (UTC)

GA criteria

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
It is reasonably well written. a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists): It is factually accurate and verifiable. a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism): It is broad in its coverage. a (major aspects): b (focused): It follows the neutral point of view policy. Fair representation without bias: It is stable. No edit wars, etc.: It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate. a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall: Pass/Fail:
· · ·

Comments

Lead

• Just prior to the 2016–17 NHL season, Flyers general manager Ron Hextall — linking 'general manager' seems over-linking.
  • Reworded instead. — GhostRiver 18:07, 2 December 2021 (UTC)
• but struggled after the interruptions caused by the COVID-19 pandemic — 'struggled' doesn't seem the best word here. Can we rephrase a bit?
  • Reworded. — GhostRiver 18:07, 2 December 2021 (UTC)

Early life

• He grew up in Clachan, Ontario, — Just like the lead, I think writing this as just 'Clachan' would suffice. Especially as 'Ontario' has already been mentioned in the previous sentence.
  • Done. — GhostRiver 18:07, 2 December 2021 (UTC)
• Although began playing — missing 'he'
  • Added. — GhostRiver 18:07, 2 December 2021 (UTC)

Playing career

• Just as the lead, mention that 'Ontario Hockey League' is abbreviated to 'OHL'
  • Done. — GhostRiver 18:07, 2 December 2021 (UTC)
• linking 'general manager' seems over-linking, here as well
  •  Not done. General manager has a very specific role within the team. They handle all personnel decisions. — GhostRiver 18:07, 2 December 2021 (UTC)
• By January, → "By January 2017,"
  • done. — GhostRiver 18:07, 2 December 2021 (UTC)
• After taking a hit against the St. Louis Blues on February 6, however, Konecny was — can remove 'however' and the commas from this sentence
  • done. — GhostRiver 18:07, 2 December 2021 (UTC)
• after his battle with the virus — needs to be rephrased.
  • done. — GhostRiver 18:07, 2 December 2021 (UTC)

International play

• Konecny made his international debut with a number of performances for Canada in under-18 tournaments in 2014. — pipe 'in under-18 tournaments' to Canada men's national under-18 ice hockey team
  •  Partly done reworded differently but to the same effect. — GhostRiver 18:07, 2 December 2021 (UTC)
• against Sweden — the linking makes it appear like WP:EGG
  • Changed to "the Swedish team". — GhostRiver 18:07, 2 December 2021 (UTC)
  • lost to Finland — same as above
  • Changed to "the Finnish team". — GhostRiver 18:07, 2 December 2021 (UTC)

Player profile

• "176 lb" in infobox v. "178 pounds" in this section.
  • fixed. — GhostRiver 18:07, 2 December 2021 (UTC)
• he has learned to focus on speed and agility over strength — can't say this in Wikipedia's voice
  • Clarified. — GhostRiver 18:07, 2 December 2021 (UTC)
  • with age, he has learned to temper these impulses and improve his decision-making on plays. — same as above, needs attribution to who considers this.
    • Clarified. — GhostRiver 18:07, 2 December 2021 (UTC)
• frequently "chirping" insults — Avoid quoting single words. (MOS:QUOTEPOV)
  • Chirping is a hockey term. I linked to the glossary instead. — GhostRiver 18:07, 2 December 2021 (UTC)

Personal life

• and has been taught → "was taught"
  • Fixed. — GhostRiver 18:07, 2 December 2021 (UTC)

Awards and honours

• I made a general table formatting edit. – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 15:29, 28 November 2021 (UTC)

References

• Few sources have website/news agency linked (example. The Province, Hockey-Reference.com, etc.) while most other have not. Suggesting to be consistent. – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 15:29, 28 November 2021 (UTC)
  • In the process of fixing per MOS:REFLINK. I have been told before by MOS:DUPLINK that you should not repeat linked citation works, but I see now that is incorrect. It appears there is no official policy either way, just that you can duplink citations. — GhostRiver 18:07, 2 December 2021 (UTC)
    • Moreover, if I am not mistaken, this point lies outside the GA criteria, so it can be ignored. – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 18:17, 2 December 2021 (UTC)

Looking good overall, just few minor comments. – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 15:29, 28 November 2021 (UTC)

Kavyansh.Singh I have made all edits except where noted. Unfortunately, I don't think I can review the article you suggested, as I have a number of deadlines in the coming weeks that will limit my on-Wiki effectiveness. — GhostRiver 18:07, 2 December 2021 (UTC)

No issues at-all. Will read the article again with a view to pass it soon. Thanks for all your work here! – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 18:17, 2 December 2021 (UTC)

Other comments

• Also, it would be appreciated if you could review Day of Infamy speech, which I want to feature on the main page on December 7/8, so I'll need it to be GA soon. No issues if you cannot. Thanks! – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 18:49, 28 November 2021 (UTC)
  • Happy to pass the article! – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 18:35, 2 December 2021 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.