Talk:Tropical Storm Ampil/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Hurricane Noah (talk · contribs) 12:40, 2 October 2020 (UTC)

Will complete tonight. Noah^Talk 12:40, 2 October 2020 (UTC)

• Slight weakening took place as Ampil crossed the East China Sea, before Ampil made landfall in Shanghai, China on July 22. Two issues here; firstly I would avoid using Ampil twice in the same sentence. A comma after China is also needed.
• 755 mi (1,215 km) Flip so km is on the outside.
• As the system was located within I would rather this say "As the system developed within"
  • This would seem to imply only systems forming within the PAR get named, which isn't true. ~ KN2731 {talk · contribs} 07:30, 3 October 2020 (UTC)
• Link coordinated universal time on first UTC.
• The newly named Something about this doesn't sound right. I would replace newly with recently.
• with a large rainband extending over the southern half of the system with the low-level circulation center left exposed This part of the sentence needs a little love.
• On thunderstorms, link Atmospheric Convection.
• Ampil then maintained this intensity for the next two days while continuing northwest due to the limiting effect of surrounding dry air This makes it seem like the storm continued northwest due to the dry air.
• Make sure date formats are consistent. ie July 20 to 21 or July 20–21...
• then passed over Okinawa Island I would replace then with and.
• as the winds decreased slightly Probably should clarify first that it was the storm's winds.
• 112 ships to be canceled What kind of ships? I also found it a bit confusing to say the ships were "cancelled". I think cancelled is also missing an l for this usage. Check for more as I have seen both spellings used multiple times.
  • It sounded questionable to me too - I think the correct word should be "sailings". For "canceled" vs "cancelled" I'm honestly not sure which is preferred, I've always assumed one "l" is the US spelling while two "l"s is the UK spelling. ~ KN2731 {talk · contribs} 07:30, 3 October 2020 (UTC)
• the National Meteorological Center issued a yellow alert I would specify it is the Chinese NMC.

That should be it. Noah^Talk 23:55, 2 October 2020 (UTC)

@Hurricane Noah: mostly done, thanks for the review. ~ KN2731 {talk · contribs} 07:30, 3 October 2020 (UTC)