Talk:Tropical Storm Bret (1981)/GA1
Latest comment: 10 years ago by TropicalAnalystwx13 in topic GA Review
GA Review
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Reviewer: TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk · contribs) 01:14, 1 January 2014 (UTC)
Hi, GeorgeC, and welcome to the 2014 WikiCup!
- Round your units throughout the article.
- I can only round stuff in the MH, unless you mean like making 3.34 inches (85 mm) to 3.3 inches (85 mm). Is that what you are referring to?--12george1 (talk) 01:59, 1 January 2014 (UTC)
- Why is the death listed as indirect in the infobox? Rip currents is direct AFAIK.
- Fixed--12george1 (talk) 01:59, 1 January 2014 (UTC)
- "Tropical Storm Bret made a rare landfall on the Delmarva Peninsula in June 1981." - pretty bland opening sentence → "Tropical Storm Bret was one of [number] tropical cyclones to make landfall on the Delmarva Peninsula in recorded history"?
- Doing that will probably require citing HURDAT.--12george1 (talk) 01:59, 1 January 2014 (UTC)
- I'd still say it's bland, but I won't can't/won't fail the article because of this. :P
- "Moving westward, the subtropical storm intensified and acquired deep convection, and was consequently reclassified as a tropical storm early on June 30." - "and acquired" → "while producing"?
- Fixed--12george1 (talk) 01:59, 1 January 2014 (UTC)
- "The storm then began weakened and struck near Oyster, Virginia as a minimal tropical storm early on July 1." - "weakened" → "weakening".
- Fixed--12george1 (talk) 01:59, 1 January 2014 (UTC)
- "Shortly thereafter, Bret weakened to a tropical depression while crossing the Chesapeake Bay. The storm then accelerated and dissipated over northern Virginia on July 1." → "Upon moving inland, Bret weakened to a tropical depression and subsequently accelerated prior to dissipating over northern Virginia that same day." or something of the sort. Think it would be better if the sentences were combined.--12george1 (talk) 01:59, 1 January 2014 (UTC)
- Done--12george1 (talk) 01:59, 1 January 2014 (UTC)
- "In Virginia, the storm produced up to 4.48 inches (114 mm) in Big Meadows section of Shenandoah National Park." - inches of what?
- Beer :P --12george1 (talk) 01:59, 1 January 2014 (UTC)
- "Along the coast, minor beach erosion occurred due to tides up to 0.9 feet (0.27 m)." - storm surge?
- It is 0.9 feet above normal. The source doesn't say "storm surge".--12george1 (talk) 01:59, 1 January 2014 (UTC)
- "Elsewhere, Bret dropped 1 to 3 inches (25 to 76 mm) of precipitation to several states, including Illinois, Indiana Kentucky, Maryland, North Carolina, Ohio, and West Virginia." - I don't think the list is necessary.
- Done--12george1 (talk) 01:59, 1 January 2014 (UTC)
- "A large band of frontal clouds became situated over the northwestern Atlantic Ocean on June 27." - link frontal to front.
- Done--12george1 (talk) 01:59, 1 January 2014 (UTC)
- "Thus, the system became a subtropical storm at 1200 UTC on June 29, while centered approximately 575 miles (925 km) east of Cape Hatteras, North Carolina." - → "became" to "was designated as".
- Fixed--12george1 (talk) 01:59, 1 January 2014 (UTC)
- "Upon becoming a tropical cyclone early on June 30, Bret attained its maximum sustained wind speed of 70 mph (110 km/h)." - "attained maximum sustained winds of 70 mph (110 km/h)."
- Fixed--12george1 (talk) 01:59, 1 January 2014 (UTC)
- Could we use specific times for some of the information, like minimum pressure?
- Done--12george1 (talk) 01:59, 1 January 2014 (UTC)
- "Around 2200 UTC on June 30, a reconnaissance aircraft flight observed hurricane force winds, though Bret was not upgraded to a hurricane because the minimum barometric pressure was considered too high." → "hurricane-force".
- Fixed--12george1 (talk) 01:59, 1 January 2014 (UTC)
- "About an hour later, the storm emerged into the Chesapeake Bay and weakened to a tropical depression." - what happened next?
- Fixed--12george1 (talk) 01:59, 1 January 2014 (UTC)
- "Beginning at 2000 UTC on June 30, a gale warning was posted in North Carolina from Cape Hatteras northward and included Albemarle and Pamlico sounds." → "At 2000 UTC on June 30, a gale-force warning was issued for a portion of the North Carolina coastline extending from [location] to [location], including [sound] and [sound]."
- Done--12george1 (talk) 01:59, 1 January 2014 (UTC)
- "Officials in North Carolina closed of beaches at Nags Head, Kitty Hawk, and Kill Devil Hills from swimmers due to rip currents and tides." - "of" to "off".
- Fixed--12george1 (talk) 01:59, 1 January 2014 (UTC)
- "After Bret dissipated, the small craft warning remained in effect and mariners were told to remain in port until the weather calms." - should be past-tense "calm" (calmed).
- Fixed--12george1 (talk) 01:59, 1 January 2014 (UTC)
- "Most of the oil was thin and easily an item to clean up by a private contractor." - this worded weird.
- Better?--12george1 (talk) 01:59, 1 January 2014 (UTC)
- RE: refs, it's still 2013 as far as I know. :P
- It is January 1, 2014 in UTC though --12george1 (talk) 01:59, 1 January 2014 (UTC)
That should be all. TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 01:14, 1 January 2014 (UTC)