Talk:Tropical Storm Toraji (2007)

Latest comment: 9 years ago by TropicalAnalystwx13 in topic GA Review

GA Review

edit
GA toolbox
Reviewing
This review is transcluded from Talk:Tropical Storm Toraji (2007)/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk · contribs) 19:55, 1 January 2015 (UTC)Reply

Hi TAM, I'll be handling this GAN as promised...

  • "The name Toraji was contributed to the western Pacific typhoon naming list by North Korea and stands for a broad bell flower (Playtycodon gradniflorus)." - This is interesting I guess, but is it necessary?
Not truly necessary, but alas it was contributed by the DPRK. TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 18:47, 10 January 2015 (UTC)Reply
  • "Upon its emergence into the Gulf of Tonkin the following day, Toraji quickly intensified into a tropical storm with winds of 65 km/h (40 mph);[nb 1] this would be the tropical cyclone's peak intensity for its entire duration. However, the JMA indicated that tropical storm intensity had been reached a day earlier. That evening, Toraji made its final landfallon Dongxing, Guangxi before rapidly deteriorating inland and degenerating into a remnant low-pressure area by the following day." - Following the timeline in this section is confusing. We jump from July 4 to July 5, but the JMA said it reached TS status on July 4, but it made landfall on Dongxing on July 5 and degenerated July 6?
I added some more dates in. TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 18:47, 10 January 2015 (UTC)Reply
  • "In that country, the storm's effects were spread out of a 800,000–1,200,000 km2 (310,000–460,000 sq mi) area." - of -> over
  Done – Done. TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 18:47, 10 January 2015 (UTC)Reply
  • "Total damage in China was estimated at CN¥73 million ($9.6 million).[nb 2] Despite making landfall near the border of Vietnam and China, effects in the latter were generally minimal." - is that supposed to be "former" instead of "latter"?
  Done – Correct. TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 18:47, 10 January 2015 (UTC)Reply
  • "The Japan Meteorological Agency (JMA) classified the system as a tropical depression at 0000 UTC on July 3 after the storm had sufficiently organized,[3] however, other tracking agencies did not indicate that tropical cyclogenesis had occurred the time." - "had sufficiently organized" -> "gained sufficient organization"? The comma before however should be a semicolon. Last part of the sentence is missing a word
  Done – Made the suggested edits. TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 18:47, 10 January 2015 (UTC)Reply
  • "Despite its already prior classification by the JMA" - this isn't necessary because it's already covered above
  Done – Removed. TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 18:47, 10 January 2015 (UTC)Reply
  • "As the cyclone passed over the island, Toraji marginally weakened" - reverse "marginally" and "weakened"
  Done – TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 18:47, 10 January 2015 (UTC)Reply
  • " Six hours later, all three agencies downgraded Toraji to tropical depression intensity.[2][3][11] By that time, the JTWC had ceased the issuance of tropical cyclone products on the storm." - So did the JTWC downgrade to a tropical depression or cease products on the storm, or both?
They just stopped monitoring the system. TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 18:47, 10 January 2015 (UTC)Reply
  • "Upon making its first landfall in China, Toraji became the first of six tropical cyclones to move ashore the country in the first three quarters of 2007." - three quarters of 2007?
Yep, years have quarters.
  • "In Guangxi, Toraji caused extensive impacts." - Elaborate?
Everything that follows in that paragraph is from Guangxi; for example, Dongxing is in Guangxi. TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 18:47, 10 January 2015 (UTC)Reply
  • "The rains destroyed approximately 16,600 acres (6,700 ha) of farm and agricultural land" - "The rains" makes it sound like you were already talked about them; how about "Associated rains"
  Done – TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 18:47, 10 January 2015 (UTC)Reply
  • Why is note 3 not placed where note 2 is?
  Done – Good catch. TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 18:47, 10 January 2015 (UTC)Reply

I think that's about it. TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 19:55, 1 January 2015 (UTC)Reply

Passing the article. Good job. :) TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 19:59, 10 January 2015 (UTC)Reply