Talk:Turuma

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Turuma/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Jonas Vinther (talk · contribs) 21:45, 4 October 2014 (UTC)

• Well-written

a. the prose is clear and concise, it respects copyright laws, and the spelling and grammar are correct

b. It complies with the manual of style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation

Here is a list of sentence or grammar errors I discovered.

1. "(from Finnish "Turunmaa", Åboland)" - I would recommend changing this to " (from the Finnish word "Turunmaa") and included a link to Finish language.

2. "Between 1761 and 1790" - I would suggest changing this to "Between 1761-90" as the article frequently does later.

3. "The Swedish empire at the time" - The "empire" bit should be capitalized.

4. "The disastrous war against Russia 1741-43 and the minor involvement in Prussia in the Pomeranian War 1757–62" - This whole sentence should be changed to "The disastrous war against Russia (1741-43) and the minor involvement in Prussia in the Pomeranian War (1757–62)

5. Because the article previous stated "disastrous war against Russia 1741-43" I would suggest changing "which succumbed to illness in the war of 1741–43" to "which succumbed to illness in the 1741–43 war".

6. "under the command of Krigskollegium, the army department" - Consider adding a literal paragraph translation of Krigskollegium. In case you don't know, it translate as "War College".

7. "The Swedish armed forces invested" - the "armed forces" bit should be capitalized when preceded by "Swedish".

8. "as well four types of "archipelago frigates" (skärgårdsfregatter)" - The Swedish wording should come first when you have a paragraph.

9. "schooner rigging and 7-8 pairs of oars" - The "7-8" bit should be changed to "seven-eight" per MOS:DATEFORMAT.

10. "have been calledskärgårdsfregatter, "archipelago frigates", in Swedish and English historical literture" - This whole sentence should be changed to "have been called skärgårdsfregatter, ("archipelago frigates" in Swedish and English historical literture)"

11. "By the third ship, the Lodbrok (1771)" - No need to mention year.

12. Whenever the article mention "Turuma" it should always be capitalized. This is not the case in the "Design" section.

13. "as the king's personal" - "king" should be capitalized.

14. "the Swedish navy before" - "navy" should be capitalized when preceded by "Swedish".

15. "the Swedish army" - "army" should be capitalized when preceded by "Swedish".

16. "14 or 15 turumas were built for the Swedish archipelago fleet" - When starting off a sentence in a new section, never write numbers with numbers.

17. What's up with the "(—)" addition?

18. Lastly, I would suggest changing the section "Ships" title to something like "Number of Turumas" or "Production history" or something else than "Ships".

• Verifiable with no original research

a. It contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline

b. It provides in-line citations from reliable sources for direct quotations, statistics, published opinion, counter-intuitive or controversial statements that are challenged or likely to be challenged, and contentious material relating to living persons—science-based articles should follow the scientific citation guidelines

c. It contains no original research

The sources used in this article are good and contain the necessary information, but there are two un-sourced sentences which I will list below.

1. "Turuma" has been carried on in its Finnish variant as a traditional ship name in the Finnish Navy, with several vessels named after the type".

2. "Three "shebecks" were built for the Russian Baltic fleet in 1788–89 that were based directly on the turumas rather than the Mediterranean xebecs".

• Broad in its coverage

a. it addresses the main aspects of the topic

b. it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail

The article is broad, stays on topic, and does not go into unnecessary detail.

• Neutral

It represents viewpoints fairly and without bias, giving due weight to each

The article is fairly neutral and does not include personal opinions or statements.

• Stable

It does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute

The article is very stable with no up-to-date edit wars or content disputes.

• Illustrated

a. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content

b. Images are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions

The article is nicely illustrated with eight images all of which are uploaded and from Commons and contain the necessary copyright/text status.

• Pass, fail or hold?

Because of the points mentioned in the "Well-written" and "Verifiable with no original research" I'm going to put this article on hold and give the nominator some time to respond to those points. Peter, jeg kan se du er Svensker. Fedt at møde en af samme slægt. Du har skrevet en rigtig god artikel der kun mangler små forbedringer. :) Jonas Vinther (speak to me!) 22:38, 4 October 2014 (UTC)

It seems the GA-nominator is currently inactive. Because of this, I will make the corrections and fixes this article needs myself. Jonas Vinther (speak to me!) 14:40, 5 October 2014 (UTC)

It's done. I have passed the article. Jonas Vinther (speak to me!) 14:51, 5 October 2014 (UTC)