Talk:Twenty Foreplay

External links modified

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GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Twenty Foreplay/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 18:58, 31 August 2023 (UTC)

This should run until Saturday at the very latest --K. Peake 18:58, 31 August 2023 (UTC)

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a. (prose, spelling, and grammar):

   b. (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   a. (reference section):

   b. (citations to reliable sources):

   c. (OR):

   d. (copyvio and plagiarism):

3. It is broad in its coverage.

   a. (major aspects):

   b. (focused):

4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   Fair representation without bias:

5. It is stable.

   No edit wars, etc.:

6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.

   a. (images are tagged and non-free content have non-free use rationales):

   b. (appropriate use with suitable captions):

7. Overall:

   Pass/fail:

(Criteria marked are unassessed)

Infobox and lead

• Shouldn't James Harris III and Terry Lewis be listed as two separate songwriters in the infobox?
• "as the album's second single on" → "as the second single on"
• Pipe 24 hours a day to 24/7 service
• "The title is a" → "The song is a"
• "and was unable to" → "yet was unable to"
• "in the United States due to" → "in the US due to" per MOS:US
• ""Twenty Roleplay" was only performed on" → "Once, the song was performed on"

Background and composition

• "being recorded in" since this appears to be about the two songs, I would add the word both here
• "The former was relesed" → "The former was released"
• "in the United States as" → "in the US as" per MOS:US
• Remove overly obvious wikilinks on guitar, drums and flute
• Pipe ballad to Sentimental ballad
• "noted that its" → "noted that the song's"
• Pipe 24 hours a day to 24/7 service

Reception

• "received positive reviews from" → "was met with positive reviews from"
• Remove pipe on Vibe
• Add "the staff of" for Music Week and Music & Media
• "highly-focused adult performer."" → "highly-focused adult performer"." per MOS:QUOTE
• "felt like "genuine hits," → "feel like "genuine hits,"
• "on the rise."" → "on the rise"."
• "complementing that "if they" → "complementing "if they"
• "modern rock band."" → "modern rock band"."
• "monster they created"." → "monster they created."" since this is a full sentence quoted
• "the Mainstream Top 40 and R&B/Hip-Hop Airplay" → "the US Mainstream Top 40 and R&B/Hip-Hop Airplay charts"
• "where it peaked at number 27" → "peaking at number 27"
• "In the United Kingdom," → "In the UK,"
• "However, it fared better" → "However, the song fared better"

Promotion

Music video

• Img looks good!
• "glamorous Hollywood life such as" → "glamorous Hollywood life, such as"
• "and felt that she" → "and felt she"
• "cool photography impress"." → "cool photography impress."" per MOS:QUOTE on full sentences
• "in your head"." → "in your head."" per above guideline

Live performance

• The stool is not sourced
• "although it "isn't always" → "although not "always"

Track listings and formats

• Good

Credits and personnel

• Use {{spaced ndash}} so there is the right space between credits and personnel
• I would suggest using a div col here per the size

Charts

• Good

Release history

• Good

References

• Copyvio score looks great at 29.6%!!!
• Make sure all of these are archived by using the tool
• For the refs citing from Google Books, newspapers.com or anywhere else add these in the via parameter
• WP:OVERLINK of VH1 on ref 16

Final comments and verdict

•  On hold until all of the issues are fixed; took a few days but we are there now! --K. Peake 07:25, 2 September 2023 (UTC)

@Kyle Peake: All issues have been addressed. Thanks for your review! Alex ^{reach me!} 01:46, 3 September 2023 (UTC)

• 11JORN You still need to change to the United States on the second instance in lead. --K. Peake 17:47, 3 September 2023 (UTC)

@Kyle Peake: done Alex ^{reach me!} 19:01, 3 September 2023 (UTC)

• ✓ Pass now, although I copyedited to show what the real setting for United should have been across the lead! --K. Peake 20:35, 3 September 2023 (UTC)