![]() | Typhoon Hal (1985) has been listed as one of the Natural sciences good articles under the good article criteria. If you can improve it further, please do so. If it no longer meets these criteria, you can reassess it. Review: June 24, 2014. (Reviewed version). |
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- This review is transcluded from Talk:Typhoon Hal (1985)/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: 12george1 (talk · contribs) 20:45, 24 June 2014 (UTC)
Hello User:Yellow Evan, I am going to be reviewing this article. Hopefully you will be quick to address/fix my issues so I can pass this article! --12george1 (talk) 20:45, 24 June 2014 (UTC)
- "Typhoon Hal (also known as Typhoon Kuring)[1] was the strongest storm to affect southern China since 1983" - Since you wikilinked Hong Kong, Taiwan, and Philippines, why not link China too?
- "It gradually became better organized, on June 20, the storm attained tropical storm." - Add the word "and" between the comma and "on".
- God, I suck. YE Pacific Hurricane 20:59, 24 June 2014 (UTC)
- "The storm weakened slightly on June 22, and Hal lost typhoon intensity two days later" ---> "The storm weakened slightly on June 22 and lost typhoon intensity two days later"
- Good call. YE Pacific Hurricane 20:59, 24 June 2014 (UTC)
- "Throughout Taiwan, flooding occurred." - No need to wikilink Taiwan again
- Delinked. YE Pacific Hurricane 20:59, 24 June 2014 (UTC)
- "n all, about 13,000 families or 77,000 people were rendered " - Add commas or dashes at the beginning and end of this part "or 77,000 people"
- "which extended from the International Dateline to the Malay Peninsula." - Apparently it is called the "International Date Line" now :P
- "Meanwhile, Hal tracked west-northwest," ---> "Meanwhile, Hal tracked west-northwestward,"
- "Meanwhile, the storm passed about 60 km (35 mi) north of Luzon." ---> "Around that time, the storm passed about 60 km (35 mi) north of Luzon."
- Done. 20:59, 24 June 2014 (UTC)
- "the JMA lowered the intensity of Hal to 145 km/h (90 mph)." - Wait, how was the intensity lowered to 145 km/h (90 mph) if that was the storm's maximum sustained wind speed?
- "A total of 5,242 families were evacuated,[11] including 50 in Baguio and 89 in Olongapo City.[9]" - I think this should be moved to after the first sentence in the first paragraph, because it deals with evacuations (which is normally associated with preparations).
- AFAIK they were evacuated due to flooding/impact. YE Pacific Hurricane 20:59, 24 June 2014 (UTC)
- "including all stock markets within Hong Kong." - Wikilink Hong Kong Stock Exchange
- "The southern Fujian province was hardest hit, where over 100,000 were stranded.[19]" - 100,000 cats? :P
- Zombies :P YE Pacific Hurricane 20:59, 24 June 2014 (UTC)
- On reference #7, "United Press International" is misspelled
- Fixed. Thanks for the review GC. YE Pacific Hurricane 20:59, 24 June 2014 (UTC)
- I am going to pass this article now and list it as a Good Article.--12george1 (talk) 21:06, 24 June 2014 (UTC)
Todo
editRW stuff I never added. YE Pacific Hurricane 19:53, 4 August 2017 (UTC)