Talk:Typhoon Karen/GA1

Latest comment: 11 years ago by Cyclonebiskit in topic GA Review

GA Review

edit
GA toolbox
Reviewing

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Hurricanehink (talk · contribs) 01:38, 23 April 2013 (UTC)Reply

  • "Typhoon Karen was the most powerful tropical cyclone to strike Guam and was regarded as one of the most destructive events in the island's history." - this could be shortened to "Typhoon Karen was the most powerful and one of the most destructive tropical cyclones in the history of Guam." Optional though.
  • Fix the link to Truk to Chuuk State
  • "Striking Guam with unprecedented intensity, Karen devastated the island with winds estimated up to 280 km/h (185 mph)" - that contradicts the first lede paragraph which said winds on the island were 175 mph. Were gusts up to 185?
  • Is the IBT the most reliable? Since the data it came from would be from, say, 1963, is it the most accurate when it's said that Karen struck Guam with winds of 175 mph? The National Weather Service says 155 mph as of 2002. This is supported by the Guam section saying "post-storm reports estimated that sustained winds reached 250 km/h (155 mph) in some areas."
  • You should have a note somewhere that all damage totals are in 1962 USD.
  • "as its eye became increasingly defined and small" - optional, but I think it reads better if it were "as its eye became small and increasingly defined."
  • " Between 0000 and 0340 UTC on November 8 to 9" - this should have the date and UTC matched. Otherwise it's confusing
  • "Karen featured a 8 to 10 km (5 to 6 mi) wide eye and estimated surface winds of 295 km/h (185 mph)" - something is missing before "estimated", such as "had"
  • "to undergo an Eyewall replacement cycle" - any reason for "Eyewall" and not "eyewall"?
  • "the typhoon's structure gradually became disorganized with its eye no longer well-defined by November 15" - a comma would be helpful
  • "All personnel on the island were ordered to evacuate to typhoon-proof shelters and emergency rations were ordered to be prepared" - try finding a way to create parallelism here to avoid saying "were ordered" twice.
  • "The United States Department of Defense stated that strategic air command planes stationed on the island were relocated to avoid damage" - I don't get why you have to say that the DoD stated this fact.
  • "Damage to vegetation was total across central areas of the island, with total defoliation taking place." - find a way to rewrite to avoid saying "total" twice.
  • "Overall, the city was 85 percent destroyed while the villages of Yona and Inarajan were 97 and 90 percent destroyed respectively." - I'd add two commas (before while and before respectively), but that's just me.
  • " Losses from the antennae along reached $1 million." - something missing?
  • "Numerous across the island were also impassible" - roads? cats? gokarts?
  • Any examples of storm deaths?
  • " It was also stated that the rehabilitation effort over the past 17 years had been completely wiped out" - I'd say previous instead of past. What do you think?

Gonna do aftermath in a bit. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 01:38, 23 April 2013 (UTC)Reply

  • "Initially, residents across Guam were critical of the delayed response by the United States Government as no aid arrived within two days of the storm" - "as" isn't the best word. Do you mean that as "because", "while", "due to", "when"? Also, comma needed.
  • "were to be made available to all civilians" - why the "to"?
  • "With continued rains in the wake of the typhoon, news reports stated that the island had its saddest Thanksgiving in history with many unable to have a full meal' - as much as I love this sentence, you should rewrite it to avoid saying "with" twice.
  • "On November 21, insurance payments for losses were expected to exceed $12 million over a two-day period." - what does the "two-day period" mean?
  • "The United States Congress granted Guam with $15 million and provided an additional $45 million through federal loans in order for the territory to recover from the typhoon." - I don't think "granted" is the right word. To make a better distinction between free federal money and the loans, why not combine the totals and indicate what portion is loans? ("provided $60 million, of which $45 million through federal loans...")

All in all pretty good! Lemme know when you get these. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 02:00, 23 April 2013 (UTC)Reply