Talk:Typhoon Sarah (1989)

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Typhoon Sarah (1989)/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Hurricanehink (talk · contribs) 03:45, 28 April 2012 (UTC)

• "As the typhoon meandered near the Philippines" - does this mean "while", "because", or something else?
  • Changed to while. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 13:33, 4 May 2012 (UTC)
• Impact in China in lede?
  • There's not much to really say but if it's really necessary I'll add it. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 13:33, 4 May 2012 (UTC)
• "approximately 1,100 km (685 mi) southeast of Minamitorishima" - even though the last thing is linked, I'd give it some more meaning so it isn't so foreign. Perhaps "southeast of the Japanese island of X"?
  • Added. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 13:33, 4 May 2012 (UTC)
• "complex interactions" - why quote? Who said it?
  • That's about as in-depth of an explanation as the JTWC will give. Added who said it. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 13:33, 4 May 2012 (UTC)
• "In light of the improved environment" --> "Due to the improved environment"
  • Changed. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 13:33, 4 May 2012 (UTC)
• Why did Sarah move faster toward Okinawa?
  • Your guess is as good as mine (not stated in report). Cyclonebiskit (talk) 13:33, 4 May 2012 (UTC)
• "This faster movement was short-lived as by September 8" - awkward
  • Reworded. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 13:33, 4 May 2012 (UTC)
• "Rivers began overtopping their banks on September 10 and inundated surrounding areas." - this could be simpler. I think "exceeding" would work better than "overtopping", and similar "flooding" over "inundated" (or something).
  • Changed Cyclonebiskit (talk) 13:33, 4 May 2012 (UTC)
• "In Ilocos Sur, ten people were killed in a single town" - I'd prefer to see "In the province of Ilocos Sur", since it sounds like a city name and could be confusing. However, I didn't change it since I wasn't sure what you thought.
  • Used suggestion. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 13:33, 4 May 2012 (UTC)
• You should indicate somewhere that all damage figures are 1989 USD, unless otherwise stated. It isn't clear in the Philippines section.
  • Added Cyclonebiskit (talk) 13:33, 4 May 2012 (UTC)
• "Striking Taiwan as a powerful typhoon, destructive winds battered coastal areas near where the center moved ashore." - dangling participle
  • I don't English good, plz to clarify what's wrong? Cyclonebiskit (talk) 13:33, 4 May 2012 (UTC)
• "Torrential were the main destructive force associated with Typhoon Sarah, however." - rains? floods? dogs? clocks? If it is rainfall, then that sentence and the subsequent one are redundant.
  • Lions, bears, and tigers oh my! (Clocks??) Removed the quoted sentence since to avoid redundancy Cyclonebiskit (talk) 13:33, 4 May 2012 (UTC)
• " In Hualien City, flood waters reached a depth of 1.2 m (3.9 ft) and several homes were destroyed, leaving roughly 100 people homeless." - did floods destroy the homes?
  • It's not clearly stated what destroyed the homes. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 13:33, 4 May 2012 (UTC)
• "Twenty-eight homes were destroyed and another forty-one sustained damage across the island." - why not rewrite to avoid saying the full names of the numbers?
  • Reworded Cyclonebiskit (talk) 13:33, 4 May 2012 (UTC)
• Anything else for Japan or China? Seems kinda scant for how much rainfall there was.
  • Not that I could find. JTWC ATCR states no known damage in China from the storm. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 13:33, 4 May 2012 (UTC)

--♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 03:45, 28 April 2012 (UTC)

Pardon my tardiness in responding to this review. I believe you understand why it took me some time to get to this. I've responded to all your concerns but I'm a bit lost at a few (I think)...I'm a tad tired now so I really don't remember exactly what I wrote above. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 13:33, 4 May 2012 (UTC)