Talk:Typhoon Vera (1983)
Latest comment: 10 years ago by Yellow Evan in topic GA Review
![]() | Typhoon Vera (1983) has been listed as one of the Natural sciences good articles under the good article criteria. If you can improve it further, please do so. If it no longer meets these criteria, you can reassess it. Review: December 6, 2013. (Reviewed version). |
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To Do
editBebeng (Vera's PAGASA name) needs more research and id love to know how 5 -7 days makes a system long lived.Jason Rees (talk) 13:55, 2 September 2013 (UTC)
GA Review
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Reviewing |
- This review is transcluded from Talk:Typhoon Vera (1983)/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: TheAustinMan (talk · contribs) 02:44, 4 December 2013 (UTC)
Hello, User:Yellow Evan. I will be reviewing Typhoon Vera (1983); like my previous reviews, I will be reviewing section by section rather than criteria-by-criteria, beginning at the lead (or bot checks) and ending at the external links section (if applicable). TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 02:44, 4 December 2013 (UTC)
Lead
edit- Where's the closed parentheses in the PAGASA name?
- Fixed. YE Pacific Hurricane 04:02, 4 December 2013 (UTC)
- You have two (not visible in read-format) spaces following reference 1. You should also fill out Reference #1, it's a rather odd looking citation.
- Fixed. 04:02, 4 December 2013 (UTC)
- "Although it was initially..." – Clarify 'it'. 'It' could define the monsoon trough in the context that it is used.
- "...strengthening to a tropical storm the following..." – the following what?
- "...before weakened slightly over the islands." – You're missing a pronoun in there.
- Nope, rather the very was in the wrong form. YE Pacific Hurricane 04:02, 4 December 2013 (UTC)
- Hai-Nan is usually spelled Hainan, so you should change it to that.
- It's spelled like that in ATCR, but okay. YE Pacific Hurricane 04:02, 4 December 2013 (UTC)
- "A total of 76,346 homes were "partially" damaged. A total of 24,280 people sought shelter due to Vera." – You use 'a total' to start a sentence twice in a row. Try switching things up, using terms like 'approximately,' 'about,' 'at least,' 'nearly,' etc. TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 02:44, 4 December 2013 (UTC)
- Neither of your suggestions work, given that the totals are non-estimated, but I changed it something else. YE Pacific Hurricane 04:02, 4 December 2013 (UTC)
Meteorological history
edit- "On July 4, the storm developed a persistent circulation." – A monsoon trough is not a storm per se.
- "Even though meteorologists from the JTWC anticipated weakening as it moved through the island group..." – Again, please clarify 'it'. Was the JTWC moving through the island group? Perhaps the meteorologists? No.
- People aren't stupid. They won't think the meteorologists went through the island group :P YE Pacific Hurricane 04:02, 4 December 2013 (UTC)
- Double space after "Convention gradually increased..."
- Heh, fixed. YE Pacific Hurricane 04:02, 4 December 2013 (UTC)
- "Vera slowly weakened before moving ashore near Haiphong around 0000 UTC on July 18..." → "Vera slowly weakened before moving ashore near Haiphong at around 0000 UTC on July 18..."
- Ill give you a break and change it. YE Pacific Hurricane 04:02, 4 December 2013 (UTC)
- Anything about the JTWC ceasing their monitoring operations? TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 02:44, 4 December 2013 (UTC)
- It's only the JTWC; they are unofficial. YE Pacific Hurricane 04:02, 4 December 2013 (UTC)
Impact and aftermath
edit- As a general rule only include references after punctuation (e.g. at the end of sentences, after clauses (,), etc.).
- No, it makes it easier for you to do your famed "source spotcheck" :P YE Pacific Hurricane 04:02, 4 December 2013 (UTC)
- "Around 200,000 people were homeless." – Indicate that this was a result of Vera.
- Good idea in theory, but again, people aren't stupid. It gets annoying saying "due to Vera" a zillion times. I did a nother metnion of Vera earlier, where I felt it suited better.
- "Most of the casualties in Bataan were due to drowning, ... which was the hardest hit by the storm." – Some re-ordering is required here. Right now, the sentence says drowning was the hardest hit by the storm.
- Good call, better now? YE Pacific Hurricane 04:02, 4 December 2013 (UTC)
- "About 30 houses in San Pablo City, were either demolished by strong winds or by falling coconut trees." – Axe the comma.
- "Overall, damage totaled $42 million (1983 USD)." – The currency notation may not be needed if you included a [Note] in the lead.
- The note may not be needed if you have the currency notation :P YE Pacific Hurricane 04:02, 4 December 2013 (UTC)
- "However, damage to crops totaled to only $9.4 million..." – No need for 'to'
- You're getting tired here. It makes no sense without the "to".
- "...since residents were just begging to replant fields." – I think you mean 'beginning' instead of 'begging'; I would think high demand would lead to high damage cost perhaps?
- "Heavy rains helped alleviate a prolonged drought in northern Vietnam, which prevented the planting of rice." → "Heavy rains helped alleviate a prolonged drought in northern Vietnam, which had prevented the planting of rice."
- "Because Typhoon Vera posed a threat to Southern China, 36 bulletins were issued." – [by whom?] TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 02:44, 4 December 2013 (UTC)
See also
edit- Are there any storms similar to Vera? [www.csc.noaa.gov/hurricanes/# The CSC-NOAA website] is very helpful for identifying similar storms. TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 02:44, 4 December 2013 (UTC)