Talk:USS Tecumseh (1863)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Zawed (talk · contribs) 10:21, 17 February 2013 (UTC)

I will do this one, review to follow shortly. Zawed (talk) 10:21, 17 February 2013 (UTC)

Lead

• Something missing here: "Although intended for forthcoming operations against Confederate fortifications guarding Mobile Bay Rear Admiral David Farragut's West Gulf Blockading Squadron, Tecumseh..."
• IMO, I think the reference to the torpedo being a mine is not necessary for the lead; just refer to it as a mine - but add the fact to the body of the article.

Description and construction

• This leaps into dimensions etc... but what kind of role was the Tecumseh designed for?
  • They were designed for anything that needed to be done in shallow waters, but proved best in ship-to-ship combat.
• "to prevent shells and fragments from jamming the turret as had happened during the First Battle of Charleston Harbor in April 1863." Happened to what? A sistership presumably?
  • The previous class of monitors.
• 3rd paragraph - no conversion for the 10 inches (unless I missed it earlier in the article, apologies if I have).
  • It's 10 layers of 1-inch plate and the 1 inch was converted earlier.
• No antecedence for Craven in 3rd paragraph; he is not introduced until 4th paragraph.
  • Good catch.
• For sake of flow, I suggest moving first sentence of 4th para to start of this section.
  • Why? That would disperse the construction information between two different areas.

Service

• Despite the mention in the lead, the West Gulf Blockading Squadron is not explicitly referred to here.
  • Added.
• "Farragut briefed Craven on his ship's role in the battle"; perhaps amend to "Farragut briefed Craven on his ship's intended role in the battle...? It is also the first mention of Farragut
  • Changed; Farragut is mentioned in the lede.
• "while they were passing the fort and then sink her..." What fort? Presumably Morgan, but it seems some context/discussion on the locale is called for here which would probably take care of my previous two points.
  • Moved ref to Ft. Morgan to first, but otherwise I'm not understanding what you mean.
• "Commander Craven spotted a line of s that the enemy" Line of s? S wikilinks to Breastwork (fortification).
  • Fixed
• "Craven claimed the destruction on one gun emplacement"..."on" should be "of".
  • Indeed
• "At 06:47 Tecumseh opened fire Ft. Morgan'..." opened fire on?
  • Yes.
• "but "torpedoes" were known to be present... The explanation of what a torpedo is should be added here.
  • Done
• The Tecumseh seems to be carrying more than its normal complement of 100 crew? I make it 111?
  • Crew #s fluctuate enormously in wartime. There are no accounts that describe the reason why she had extra crew aboard.

Postwar

• The 2nd sentence of the 1st para feels out place here as it is followed by the paragraph dealing with salvage rights and seems a little incongruous. Perhaps bring it to the end of this section.
  • Good idea
• 3rd paragraph is entirely a quote from a website; no chance of a quick rewrite? I realise you don't have a lot to work with though...
  • Done, mostly.
• Shouldn't the dollar symbol be used?
  • OK.

Images

• Appropriate licences appear to be used.

Copyvio/Links/Citations

• No dab links
• two of the three links look good; but not sure of the weblink for note 1? Is that the intended webpage or should it go to the record page for #75000306?
  • Can't get the link to work properly, even using the record page. Thanks for the review.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 23:28, 17 February 2013 (UTC)

That's all for now. I await your feedback. Cheers. Zawed (talk) 11:13, 17 February 2013 (UTC)

• Changes/responses satisfactory, marking up as a GA. Zawed (talk) 11:29, 19 February 2013 (UTC)