Talk:Unforgiven (2005)

Pre-GA review

The article is looking good. A few things to consider:

1. The article says, "Hardy locked Edge for the Side Effect and both men went flying off the stage and into electrical equipment." Did he actually perform the move? It sounds like he was just preparing to perform it when they both fell off the stage. Either way, this should be more clear.

    Done ♥Nici♥Vampire♥Heart♥ 23:59, 6 March 2008 (UTC)

2. You should explain the significance of the apple in the Carlito-Flair match. If you read the paragraph from the point of view of someone who doesn't watch wrestling, it wouldn't make sense for a wrestler to leave the ring to eat fruit during a match.

   I removed it. --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 03:46, 7 March 2008 (UTC)

3. In the same paragraph, you capitalize the F in Figure/figure four leglock once but not the other time. Either way is fine, but it should be consistent.

    Done ♥Nici♥Vampire♥Heart♥ 23:47, 6 March 2008 (UTC)

4. For the women's match, a wikilink for "full body choke" would help.

    Done --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 04:44, 7 March 2008 (UTC)

5. When you say, "Snitsky then took the upper hand over Big Show, as he applied an armbar hold, blocking a chokeslam attempt by Big Show", did he apply the armbar hold after blocking a chokeslam attempt? It's a little unclear. I tried to fix this, but I couldn't find a mention of it in the references for that paragraph.

    Done ♥Nici♥Vampire♥Heart♥ 00:11, 7 March 2008 (UTC)

6. I like to avoid parentheses whenever possible, as they disrupt the flow of the text, so in the Hardy-Edge match, I would prefer to take Lita out of the first sentence and then mention her later ("Lita, Edge's manager/valet, began to climb up the outside of the steel cage..." -- I don't know if she would be considered a manager or valet, but I hope this clears up what I'm trying to say).

    Done ♥Nici♥Vampire♥Heart♥ 00:05, 7 March 2008 (UTC)

7. "Cade managed to take out Hurricane..." sounds a little colloquial. Can we replace "take out" with something that isn't slang?

    Done ♥Nici♥Vampire♥Heart♥ 00:14, 7 March 2008 (UTC)

8. Was Hurricane's injury legitimate or kayfabe?

    Done --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 03:32, 7 March 2008 (UTC)

9. Parts of the Michaels-Masters match could use some attention. "Masters, however, dominated Michaels" is a weak sentence on its own. Could we add a mention of a move or two that he used to dominate? A casual reader would also be confused as to what Michaels' "signature moves" are. And finally, a mention that Michaels won the match would be good for consistency.

    Done ♥Nici♥Vampire♥Heart♥ 00:27, 7 March 2008 (UTC)

10. The lead could use some more information. Four sentences is fairly short for an article that's almost 30KB.

     Done GaryColemanFan (talk) 23:22, 7 March 2008 (UTC)

11. As I mentioned to LAX, it was decided in a discussion on the WP:PW talk page that it is best to try to avoid saying someone "hit" a move. "Performed" is preferred, as it helps avoid "in universe" statements.

     Done --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 04:36, 7 March 2008 (UTC)

12. One last thing...the first time you mention Michaels' finishing move, you call it "a Sweet Chin Music". The next time, it's just "Sweet Chin Music". I don't care either way, but it should be consistent.

     Done ♥Nici♥Vampire♥Heart♥ 23:45, 6 March 2008 (UTC)

That's all I can see for now. I hope this helps. Please get in touch if you have any questions. Best wishes for your GA review, GaryColemanFan (talk) 17:21, 6 March 2008 (UTC)

I've managed to fix most of them, but I'm too tired to finish off. I fsomeone else feels like it they can address the above points; if not, I'll see what I can do tomorrow. ♥Nici♥Vampire♥Heart♥ 00:30, 7 March 2008 (UTC)

GA review

Issues:

• "and eight overall". Should be "eighth".

--  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 02:22, 27 March 2008 (UTC)

• "RAW brand-exclusive event". I suggest rearranging that to "event exclusive to the RAW brand".
• "WWE title". Use "WWE Championship".
• Inconsistent capitalization of "Raw".

What do you mean? --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 02:31, 27 March 2008 (UTC)

Some use "RAW", some use "Raw." --13 of Diamonds (talk) 02:44, 27 March 2008 (UTC)

Yeah, but it goes by MoS (trademarks) does it not? --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 02:55, 27 March 2008 (UTC)

I meant within this article. The lead section and the infobox uses "RAW". Elsewhere, "Raw". --13 of Diamonds (talk) 03:02, 27 March 2008 (UTC)

True, but RAW is the brand; Raw is the show. --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 03:05, 27 March 2008 (UTC)

There is an instance in the Aftermath section where the brand is referred as "Raw". --13 of Diamonds (talk) 03:14, 27 March 2008 (UTC)

Fixed it. Does Raw still need changing? --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 03:18, 27 March 2008 (UTC)

I'll let that go for GA. This should still be discussed within your WikiProject. --13 of Diamonds (talk) 03:24, 27 March 2008 (UTC)

This has been discussed before and always stated that Raw is the show and RAW is the brand. I go by what's said over there. --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 03:29, 27 March 2008 (UTC)

• "Number One contender". Capitalization.
• "Mid-way". Should be "midway".
• "guys like Hogan". Informal word, "guys".

Can you explain this one please? --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 02:57, 27 March 2008 (UTC)

Unless that's a quote, I think the word "guy" is inappropriate to be used in this context. --13 of Diamonds (talk) 03:04, 27 March 2008 (UTC)

Would "individuals" work? --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 03:05, 27 March 2008 (UTC)

• "new wrestlers". "New" inappropriate. Perhaps use "Young"
• "warned Masters to not to group him with Hulk Hogan". Fix "to not to". Use just "Hogan".
• "becauseHardy". Space.
• "kicked the steel ring steps onto Hardy's skull". Accurate?
• "no contest". Hyphenate.
• "flying off the stage". Remove "flying".
• "lay motionless". Past tense.
• "figure four lock". Should be "leglock".

♥Nici♥Vampire♥Heart♥ 02:26, 27 March 2008 (UTC)

• "arm take down". Should be "takedown".

♥Nici♥Vampire♥Heart♥ 02:28, 27 March 2008 (UTC)

• "Benjamin, however, countered by [...]" Too many uses of "and". Break it up.
• Inconsistent capitalization of match types ("Steel cage match", "Street fight"). I suggest lower case for all.
• "face first". Hyphenate.
• "outside of the steel cage". Use "cage" to be consistent.
• "The match started with The Hurricane". Use just "Hurricane" to be consistent. (starting from the second use)

♥Nici♥Vampire♥Heart♥ 02:24, 27 March 2008 (UTC)

• "World Tag Team titles". Firstly, "titles" should be singular. Secondly, use official name. ("Championship")
• "performing several Powerbombs", "dodged a Superkick". "Powerbombs" and "Superkick" in lowercase.
• "Sweet Chin Music". Consistent use of "superkick".
• "Ankle Lock". Lower case.
• "the FU". Should be "an FU".
• "grabbed the WWE title". State that it is the belt. Remove "WWE".
• Remove the list of qualifying matches for the Taboo Tuesday options. Irrelevant to *Cena/Angle/Bischoff feud. Just list the qualified.
• Clarify that the October 3 Raw is WWE Homecoming.
• "Intercontinental title". Use "Championship".

--13 of Diamonds (talk) 23:37, 26 March 2008 (UTC)

GA pass

I have passed this article as GA class. --13 of Diamonds (talk) 03:32, 27 March 2008 (UTC)